How to survive the COVID quarantine long term

Want to know how to survive the COVID quarantine long term? I’ve been through a quarantine and it was a whopping year long. Here are my handy tips learned the hard way. And these aren’t the “eat right, exercise, and meditate” tips you may have heard already (which are lifesavers, too).

Our son was born way too early and we had to self-isolate for a year so that his fragile lungs could develop. A common respiratory infection would send him right back to intensive care or worse. So when the COVID-19 quarantine started I thought, “Oh yeah, this is familiar. How did I do this last time?” Well, here’s what I did and here’s to hoping it helps you.

Surf the pandemic.

After day 84 (or whatever) in the NICU, I realized that just because I’m in a world of unknowns and no one can predict any outcomes, it doesn’t mean that everything is in chaos. While a surfer can’t control the ocean, she can control herself. I needed to optimize my body and mind, try to stay on my board (getting back on after each fall), and stay away from the riskiest waves. And I could seek out other surfers. In these days of COVID quarantine, you can’t control the ocean of the market, your clients and customers, or people who won’t isolate, but you can balance yourself on your board.

Be grateful and acknowledge quarantine could be worse.

Our newborn was 2 pounds 9 oz. The baby next door was even smaller. Instead of pitying ourselves, we looked for glimmers of hope. Same applies now. You have running water? Internet? People you care about? Congrats. Keep that list of tailwinds growing.

Can you help someone who can’t work from home (e.g., refer someone recently laid off; pay your housecleaner, barista, and hairdresser to stay home; order take-out in your neighborhood)? Helping others is an even better way to survive the COVID quarantine long term. And remember we're also doing this for the medical professionals risking their lives...you can last one more day for them, right?

Accept the new normal in quarantine.

Grief is real but the sooner you let go of “I should’ve been doing X right now” or “it's difficult without Y available,” the better. You'll start to thrive once you stop lamenting the routines and events you’ve lost and consider the dangers you've dodged.

If you’re smart/tough/innovative, you'll find your own substitutions.

Use this “crisistunity” (not my word but love it) to figure it out. If you’re smart/tough/innovative, you'll find your new normal substitutions, for home and work, to survive the COVID quarantine long term. Top priority? Start figuring out how you’re gonna give yourself a haircut next month. And that’s a no-go on the bangs, first-timers.

Be a little blind and deaf to those in quarantine with you.

This was sage advice that saved our marriage during quarantine. When you’re locked in a house with the same people for a year it’s easy to become thin-skinned and irritated. Everyone is under a microscope and in a pressure cooker, especially if you don’t have spare rooms. Rather than demand a higher standard, give each other slack.

In addition to slack, a sense of humor can help you and yours survive the COVID quarantine long term. We quickly invented an imaginary roommate and blamed everything on him (“Dammit, Fernando, stop leaving your yogurt bowls everywhere!”). Somehow he got the message and straightened up. Perhaps your preschoolers are crappy coworkers. Perhaps you're a B- homeschool teacher. Forgive each other. Eat some dino nuggets. Let it slide.

Name your triggers to survive quarantine long term.

Managing triggers is essential. In our first quarantine, my husband couldn’t stand a cluttered dining table, so I cleared it off each night. I loathed scattered shoes. Your triggers and coping needs might be hard for others to decipher, so don’t keep them to yourself. In this new quarantine, we identified new triggers (mostly poor sleep, pseudoscience, and stepping on Legos) and use that intel to protect each other.

Your triggers might be hard for others to decipher, so don’t keep them to yourself.

Accept that coping styles clash in a quarantine.

My husband is hyper-social, chatting on his phone and online all day long. I need loads of alone time. In our first quarantine, that was perplexing. My husband worried about my hours of stillness and solitude. I worried he was spinning himself up. We talked about it and accepted we’d be the butterfly and the statue. We managed our own issues without requiring the other one to do it with us. We’re in new circumstances now, but accepting that we need different kinds of breaks (that still don’t make sense to the other one) has been breezy this time around. The right kind, your kind, of coping breaks can help you survive the COVID quarantine long term.

Make your world small during quarantine.

Think about little things like what you’ll cook for dinner. Pull out all the books you’ve been meaning to read. Sort through photos. Fix that crooked thing. Rearrange the room. Twice. Sew that tear. Make some art. Look at the sky. And plot your next chapter. In the NICU, I thought about one day having a nursery. In the nursery, I thought about teaching storytelling skills to executives. I did it all one day at a time and took advantage of the time to think.

Settle in for quarantine long term.

We were so focused on getting out of the NICU in three months we didn’t compute we had nine more to go isolating at home. Convince yourself this quarantine is a few months minimum, so you’re pleasantly surprised when it ends rather than disappointed every two weeks it's extended. Apply this frame to both home and work endeavors.

Convince yourself this quarantine is a few more months minimum, so you’re pleasantly surprised when it ends.

Dodge people who make things worse during quarantine.

Yes, there will be insensitive, tone-deaf deniers who will at a minimum irritate you and at a maximum endanger you (and everyone else). Speak the truth about your situation to them (“I'm managing crisis communications and don’t have bandwidth for your X”) and reasonable people will get it. Showing them empathy right back helps a lot, too. For those who don’t care and keep hitting you (and everyone else), practice social e-distance. If they’re already oblivious to the domino effect of a pandemic, these people won’t register that you’re moving them to the way back of the backlog. Answer their requests after you get through the critical ones. Get some air cover. Find someone to be a buffer. Figure out a way to work separately once and for all. Boundaries are healthy at home and at work, especially now that lines are blurred.

Search for inspiring stories, not scary stats, about COVID.

The attending physician on our first day looked us square in the face and said, “I’m your internet. Don’t look anything up.” And he was right. Every week we had a new scare, and if we’d look up that scary medical thing happening to our baby, we'd lose our minds to anxiety and future-tripping.

Find your own line between informed and overwhelmed and stop there.

If you’re already on edge, then reading about fatality statistics won’t help you cope. Once you know how to prevent COVID-19, what the symptoms look like, and who to call if you have them, that’s enough. It only takes a little information and action to regain your calm. If you’re going to survive the COVID quarantine long term, protect your mental health. Find your line between informed and overwhelmed and stop there.

Go to trusted sources with nuanced perspectives, like this interview. Read about people in quarantine doing what inspires you, like this librarian. How’re others comforting their elders, supporting medical professionals, or building superforts with their kids? Check out this uplifting story about a girl, her cancelled bat-mitzvah, and what she did for her neighborhood. How about all these companies, like Dyson and Tesla, making ventilators? There is so much good in the world…find it and spread some.

Play StairBall.

I’m the proud inventor of StairBall (our version anyway), which is equal parts bowling, billiards, and cricket. The rules are ever-changing and the points irrelevant. It’s lining up empty boxes on stairs and then knocking (or dodging) them with a ball plus some unpredictable bursts of running on the stairs. Anyone can play any position. All configurations are legal and must be named something ridiculous (“Mama, this one is called Castle-Explosion-Quicksand-Farts”). My kid plays (i.e., climbs stairs) for HOURS each day, smiling nonstop. Find your StairBall. In my first quarantine, StairBall was coloring mandalas. Anything that brings you delight or peace, no matter how silly or unusual, DO IT A LOT. No one is watching (too soon?).

Commit to commute during the quarantine.

BONUS! This is a new one. I had to give up my job in my first quarantine because it was so long, but am working full-time in this one. Without my commute, my workday sprawled in all directions. Once I brought my commute back, my whole day had definition and I didn’t feel the stranglehold of my to-do list's tentacles and diminishing returns. My family needs me to respect a schedule, too.

Repurpose your commute time for something rejuvenating.

For my morning commute, I kinda maybe workout and in the evening, my kid and I go on a #COVIDcommute together, walking around our neighborhood in search of special rocks and bugs (staying six feet from anyone we pass). One day, when I’m back to commuting for an hour in traffic, I'll miss this. Please consider repurposing your commute time for something rejuvenating. If you don’t prioritize your time, someone else will.

Do normal healthy stuff to survive quarantine long term.

Keep taking all the other healthy steps, like eating right, exercising, video-chatting with your favorite people, etc. that you’ve read about elsewhere. Perhaps my ad-hoc psychological coping strategies can be a complement to them. Good luck. Hang tough. You’re doing the right thing.

Have any mind-hacks of your own? Share below in the comments—let's get through this together.

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Lisa Kagan is Communications Director at Unify Consulting and specializes in executive communications and coaching. She has been a communications consultant for government, higher education, research, and technology clients who want to craft stories that amplify their work. She also shares tips about persuasive storytelling in the workplace on her blog lisakagan.com. Most importantly, she is the mother of the first StairBall World Champion who hopes quarantine ends in time for his birthday.