How to support a loved one through a divorce - tips from Liverpool divorce solicitor Tracey Miller Family Law

During something as emotionally difficult as a divorce, having the right support is crucial. Friends and family can be a key source of help, whether just as a shoulder to cry on or for more practical support.??

If someone you know is going through a separation, it’s useful to know how you can help. Here are our top tips:?

Just be there to listen?

The most important thing you can do as the friend of someone going through a divorce is to listen. Let your friend know that you’re available to listen – whenever they need to talk, vent, cry or just hang out and have some fun.??

Avoid pushing too hard to get the person to open up and resist the temptation to try to ‘fix’ their problems. You don’t need to run a therapy session – sometimes just getting together for a movie night can be just what the doctor ordered.???

The golden rule? Don’t badmouth the ex. Here’s some advice from relationship psychologist Abby Medcalf in a recent Independent article:?

?“Don’t trash talk, cheerlead or problem solve. Connect with the feeling, not the situation. Ask, what’s making you the saddest, the angriest, the most fearful?”?

“Then, listen hard, with full attention.”?

Check in regularly?

Your loved one might find it hard to ask for help, so it can be easier if you reach out first.?A simple message or phone call to check in and see how they’re doing will be much appreciated.??

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Keeping the lines of communication open lets your friend know that you’re available if they need you. It also lets them know that you’re thinking about them, which can be comforting on those difficult days.??

Help out in small ways?

Practical help can be enormously helpful when a friend is juggling work, family life and a divorce. Your friend is used to sharing the tasks of daily life with someone else, and handling everything alone can feel overwhelming.

?So, why not offer to babysit one night a week, or pick up some shopping along with your own? There are lots of ways to help out, from picking up the kids from school to taking on dog walking duties. You can also support your friend in more creative ways, such as putting up shelves, organising social events or editing their CV.???

Keep the social invitations coming?

The last thing a divorcing person needs is to feel socially isolated. True, they may not always feel like coming out – but it’s really important to invite them anyway. Social events can be just what they need to take their mind off the divorce, and spending time with friends is great for boosting their mental wellbeing.???

?Be positive??

?Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on during tough times, but it’s easy to get stuck in the negative – which isn’t good for either of you. Here’s what family therapist Amy Armstrong advises:?

“A supportive person helps you see yourself in a bright next chapter, not someone who urges you to complain or stay in victim mode.”

?If your friend or family members is facing divorce, they’ll also need sound legal advice they can trust. Wirral divorce solicitor Tracey Miller offers straightforward, practical advice, to help navigating divorce as smooth as possible – find out more here.??

This article first appeared at Tracey Miller Family Law.