How successful are you ??

Sometime back, I had a discovery call with a prospective client

He is a senior director in a pharma company

He said?“I have had multiple promotions in the last few years”

“Financially, I am quite comfortable”?he continued

“So what’s the issue?”?I asked him

“When I benchmark myself with some of my peers in other industries, I feel that I am behind”?He responded

He continued?“Even when I benchmark my salary to the market, I feel that I deserve more”

Despite being a high performer, working with a big brand and earning really well, somewhere deep inside, he was unhappy and unsatisfied

And that’s the paradox of success….

The more successful you are, the less successful you might feel !

Because you make your success relative

Your success v/s the success of others

And invariably, this relative comparison is mostly one-sided –?only with people who are better-off than you

It is usually NEVER with people who are not as successful as you are

In the case of this potential client, if he looks at his own career progress in isolation,?his success is absolute

He is not in competition with anyone, so it’s his own unique journey

And he has come a long way

But the moment he starts comparing himself to others,?his success becomes relative

It makes him feel less successful

And this happens with all of us, right ?

Comparing yourself with others is one of the worst forms of self-sabotage

And most of us are very good at it?:)

Before I proceed further, I must admit that some level of comparison from time to time could be useful

..It might help you benchmark yourself and define your goals

..It might inspire you into action

..And it might help you understand any gaps?( where you are v/s where you want to be )

But constantly comparing yourself with others and pulling yourself down is NOT healthy

Look….

There will always be people who are doing better than you and there will be people who are not as fortunate as you are

So if you are tempted to make your success relative,?make sure you look at both ends of the spectrum

The other challenge in making success relative is that you tend to forget your life's journey

You worry too much about what you have NOT achieved

..What you don’t have….

..What you have missed out on….

You pay very little attention to what all you have achieved in life

How far have you come ?

Where did it all begin ?

The challenges you had to overcome to reach this point

And if you really step back and reflect on your journey, you will realise that you have come a really long way

Just imagine....10,20 years back....

Would you have ever imagined that you could achieve all this in life ?

Probably NOT

Yet, you did it !

But you don’t give yourself credit for it

You don’t embrace and celebrate your success enough

If I just look at my own life, I had a very humble beginning in a typical middle-class family in India

I would have never imagined that one day, I would become a Ship’s Captain and command large ships across the world’s oceans

Never in my dream I would have imagined that I would become an Investment Banker one day with probably the biggest name of Wall Street

And by leaps and bounds, I had no idea that one day, I would become a Leadership Coach and coach C-suite leaders across the globe

Yet, here I am today !

So you see….

Your success can be both absolute and relative, depending on your perspective

And?that perspective?can make all the difference in how you feel :

..Happy v/s sad

..Contentment v/s dissatisfaction

..Accomplished v/s inadequate

..Proud v/s embarrassed

So here’s something for you to reflect upon this week :

1) What is your perspective of your own success ?

2) How often do you compare yourself with others ? How do you truly feel when you do it ?

3) Do you feel really proud of what all you have achieved in life ?

4) What has allowed you to become successful ??

And if you need to discover your secret success mantra, drop me a note and my team can help schedule a quick call?

I would be interested to know what came up for you as you read and reflected on this article

Till then

Stay safe and stay healthy

Harsh

www.harshjohari.com

P.S. -?Here are some ways how I can help you in your transformation journey

1)?How to create an extraordinary?2022?- If you really want to create a big?impact and make this year an extraordinary year for you, drop me a message. Let 2022 be really a BIG year for you and people around you

2)?Leadership?Resources?– Here are some free resources which I have developed for my clients. You can use them for your personal reflection or for your teams. If you need a copy of any of these, drop me an email :

a)?21?Powerful Questions Every Leader Should Reflect On

b) 7 Questions To Push You Out Of Your Comfort Zone

c) 5 Powerful Questions to Transform Yourself In 2022

d) 7 Reasons Why Leaders Resist Change

3) PLUS, whenever you are ready to step into your real power and go after what you truly want, you can book a short exploratory call here (Book Your Call)