How Successful Women Think: 10 Mindset Shifts to Ditch the Stress

I was sitting in my car when I first learned the truth about my thoughts.

It had been another stressful work day. Tears of overwhelm were threatening to break through as I dreaded having to face another day like this one. I was left wondering: "Is this my life forever?"

I was the kind of person who thought success meant answering emails at all hours, saying “yes” to every opportunity, and clearing out the to-do list before I allowed myself to focus on anything else.

I wore my busyness like a badge of honor. I thought the more hours I worked, the more kudos I was sure to receive and the brighter my star would shine.?

Success would be inevitable.

It was those beliefs that had led me to this moment. Blinking away tears alone in my car.?

I turned on a podcast in an attempt to drown out the hum of criticism in my head. The constant voice that was telling me I hadn’t done enough. The voice that claimed this overwhelm was just a sign I should have worked later to get ahead of my towering workload.?

As the podcast got underway, the host introduced me to a concept I’d never considered before.

“Your thoughts cause your feelings. And you can choose what you think.”

At first, I didn’t believe her. But my desperation kept me listening.

I’d spent years thinking my hard work was the key to my success. But as I kept listening, something clicked.?

Could changing how I think be the key to finally getting over my overwhelm so I could start living a life I actually enjoyed?

The Power of Your Thoughts

There’s a famous quote attributed to Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”?

This idea isn’t just a motivational mantra worthy of a beautifully designed piece of office art, it’s actually rooted in neuroscience and psychology.?

Our thoughts influence our feelings which drive our actions, and ultimately, create the results in our lives.

If you believe you must work 60-hour weeks to succeed, you’ll probably do just that, whether it’s helping you or not. But if you think differently, you can create a better, less stressful reality.

Being in control of how you think is the foundation for a better life. Here are 10 thoughts successful women think to stay calm and reach their goals.

Thought #1: “I choose what I think about.”

You must first believe you have control over what you think.

While you can’t always control your feelings, you can control what you focus on and how you interpret your reality.?

Successful women understand this distinction. When stress arises, they redirect their thoughts to something constructive. For instance, instead of dwelling on an upcoming deadline, they think about the satisfaction of completing the project.

Thought #2: "Anxiety is a reaction, not reality."

Anxiety is just bad critical thinking. It often arises from worst-case scenarios your mind makes up.?

Successful women recognize that anxiety is just a reaction to uncertainty and some faulty thinking, not facts. They don’t resist the feeling. Instead, they dig deeper. They seek to understand the thoughts that are causing the feeling then poke holes in their brain’s “logic” to break free from the anxiety loop.

Thought #3: "Not all problems need solving right now."

Worrying often feels productive, but it’s just a distraction.?

Successful women know that excessive worry drains energy and can often create self-fulfilling prophecies. Instead, they focus on actionable solutions and let go of what they can’t change in the moment.

Thought #4: "Whatever happens, I can handle it.”?

Challenges and unknowns are inevitable. But you’ve navigated tough situations before.?

Successful women recognize that life is full of uncertainties, but their track record proves they are resourceful and capable. By affirming their ability to handle whatever comes their way, they diminish the power of fear and worry. This helps shift energy from “what-if” thinking to practical solutions and next steps.

Thought #5: "Whatever I get done is enough."

The goal of a completed to-do list is futile. There will always be more you could do.?

Successful women don’t obsess over crossing everything off the to-do list. Instead, they focus on forward motion. They know that small, consistent actions build success over time. The to-do list never ends, so whatever progress they make is enough. They embrace the seasons of life, the unexpected chaos, or the emotional strains of a day without punishing themselves with more work.?

Thought #6: “What I expect, I create.”

If you believe something will turn out well, it often will. This isn’t wishful thinking, it’s confirmation bias at work.?

Successful women lean into positive expectations and let their brains do the rest. When they expect a positive outcome, their brain filters information to align with those expectations, noticing opportunities and solutions they might otherwise overlook. This belief doesn’t mean ignoring challenges; it means approaching them with the mindset that success is possible, which makes them more likely to act decisively and confidently.?

Thought #7: “In this moment, I am happy.”

Much of your stress and anxiety comes from fixating on the past or worrying about the future.

Successful women use this thought to center themselves in the here and now, focusing on what they have rather than what’s lacking. This shift in focus opens the door to gratitude and calm, allowing them to experience greater happiness throughout the day.?

Thought #8: "I’m not responsible for other people’s emotions."

If you are a Mel Robbins fan like me, you’ll recognize this as her “Let Them” theory.

Successful women don’t make decisions around their time and priorities based on the opinions or judgments of others, freeing them from unnecessary emotional burdens. They recognize that while they can offer support, they’re not responsible for how others feel or react. Let them be disappointed. Let them be frustrated. Let them be mad.?

Thought #9: "I don’t need to be perfect to be valuable."

Perfectionism is a major stress trigger and time waster.?

Successful women accept that making mistakes is part of growth. They focus on progress, not perfection, and are comfortable with being "good enough" in everything they do. They view every experience as an opportunity to learn and embrace challenges as a chance to grow, knowing that each setback is temporary and will lead to greater knowledge and confidence.?

Thought #10: "Rest is productive."

Burnout happens when you neglect your need for rest.?

Successful women understand that rest isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. They prioritize self-care by scheduling time to recharge, whether that’s a quick walk, a full weekend off, or simply saying “no” to one more task. They view rest as an investment in their long-term productivity and creativity. By allowing themselves time to recover, they come back to their work with greater focus, energy, and resilience, proving that taking a break is one of the most powerful ways to move forward.

Now What

Changing how you think can change your life. After all, your thoughts create your reality.?

By shifting your mindset and adopting these 10 thoughts, you can achieve your goals of success without sacrificing your well-being.?

Try these bonus tips as you embrace this new concept:

• Give yourself plenty of opportunities to become aware of what you’re thinking. This could be via regular journaling, meditating, or simply sitting in silence and seeing what pops up.?
• Thinking new thoughts is not reciting affirmations that you don’t believe. You must have some level of belief in the new thought to make it stick. Start with practicing the new thoughts that you’re already bought into, then expand from there.?
• Retraining faulty thinking takes practice and repetition. Write your new thoughts on a sticky note and stick it to your computer screen. Or write out your new thoughts at the start of every journal entry as a daily reminder.

What will you choose to think today?

(Originally published at https://www.shebosslife.com/blog/10-thoughts-successful-women-think)