How Is Success Without Compromising Your Values or Burnout Possible?

Do you ever feel like you're stuck on a treadmill, chasing someone else's definition of success? Have you realised endlessly striving for the next promotion, award, win or pay rise, makes you part of someone else's plan. Fulfilment remains elusive. And the people you love pay the price for your positive pay offs.

Makes you feel warm inside, doesn't it? I'm the object lesson here.

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DON'T DO THIS AT HOME

EVEN UNDER ADULT SUPERVISION

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My craving for significance was fed by outward markers of achievement. I sacrificed the things that matter most - my health, my relationships, on more than one occasion I twisted my reasoning and lost integrity to relieve a short term pressure or gain a short term advantage. That often backfired and ate into my self concept - who I am. I hurt the people I a meant to care about through my inattention, selfishness, neglect and entitlement. I ran a narrative that told me my roles in the world - breadwinner, head of the household (sorry kids, sorry Suzanne, if you're reading this, you'll be snorting derisively), competitive moron who cared more about the extrinsic than what really matters most.

That varies for everyone. For me, I realised that being a good husband and father, salesperson or leader, starts with being a good human being. And that starts with being aware of the impact we have on others AND caring enough to adapt to include them, to be fully present for them.

I'm not proud of who I was or what I have done for much of my past. I was ignorant, I was egotistical, I was selfish, I was short sighted, and I was largely willing to override my self awareness to justify the outcome. I do regret the hurt I caused and am slowly working through those relationships I owe apologies to. Rebuilding bridges where there is forgiveness enough to let me be fully present for them, with no selfish agenda or distractions. For that to be enough for me is, was, will continue to be a major milestone. I require constant vigilance so I don't regress into being who I was.

Take another look at the picture at the top. Work out from the centre, then move to the petals going from the top, left then right (anticlockwise), then the circles in the same order. It maps my journey towards destructive success. It may mirror yours.

I see these traps ahead for so many of you. As 2024 hits, and the election pantomime gets fully underway in half the democracies on Earth (yes half!!), change is afoot - social, technological, economic, and the global balance of power is in flux. Boards are awash with confusing data, masses of data.

U N C E R T A I N T Y is everywhere

- meanwhile you have to hit quota, meet the team target, deliver against investor valuation metrics, satisfy your bosses and your customers, enlist the discretionary effort of your peers and other departments who may have no direct interest in your outcome, they may even oppose you and support competing outcomes, whilst paying the mortgage/car/health/school fees, funding a lifestyle or an elderly parent.

Do you really want to burn through relationships and alienate your kids, friends and family by becoming the person you are becoming in your pursuit of what doesn't matter most?

The GRIND is NOT the answer.

Working harder is not the answer. Lying, omitting, manipulating, exaggerating, pressuring, coercing buyers to buy is not the answer. Discounting to buy the business is not the answer.

There's a better way.

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*** DO HIS INSTEAD ***

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True success means feeling confident you're making a difference and living your purpose, not just accumulating status symbols. It comes from maintaining balance and aligning work with your core values. It means being ruthless with your time and carving out space for the people who matter most in your life, the things you want to experience and achieve AND to be fully present, and finding satisfaction and joy in each moment.

Remember, the alternative is burnout and shutout!

Here are some key strategies:

Define success for yourself. Don't let society's narrow expectations limit your aspirations. Get clear on what really matters most to you.

Remember that more titles and money alone won't lead to lasting fulfilment. Focus on making an impact and enjoying the journey. Life is to be lived. The pain is inevitable, the suffering is optional!

Set boundaries around schedules, availability and workload. Prevent burnout by knowing your limits. Calendar blocking is your shield.

Spend time reconnecting to your passions outside work. Nurture your whole self.

Incorporate practices like meditation or journaling to stay grounded and relieve stress. Deep reflection is your competitive advantage.

Make time for loved ones and invest in relationships that fill your soul. Never take family for granted.

Find work you feel passionate about that helps others and contributes value to society. Seek purpose.

Maintain your values, integrity and ethics. Never compromise your values or character in the name of ambition. Never sell your reputation. How cheap have you sold it so far? STOP!

The path to what success, prosperity and happiness is, is different for everyone. Define yours in alignment with your authentic values and priorities. Keep perspective on what truly constitutes a successful life. To achieve balance and self-awareness, and achieve great things without sacrifice you have to start by asking the right questions and running towards the bad news.

Your possibilities ahead are unleashed. How are you going to ensure you stay on the certain path and not get pulled away by shiny, temporary, false distractions?

Maybe I can help. DM me if you want to chat.