How "STUDIO FIRST" gave meaning To 5 Years of my Life

It was February 2020 and it seemed like I had gotten a ray of hope returning to School for my master’s degree. A public university in Nigeria had just offered me admission. It wasn't the best choice I envisioned during my undergraduate studies but due to financial constraints, I had to put in because my clock was ticking.

Two days after getting admission notification on my dashboard, I made the trip from Abeokuta to the school, two states away, because myself and another colleague we graduated together were unable to make our acceptance fee payment due to the closure of the payment portal by the postgraduate school. The PG school argued the department was used to processing admissions late and no mercy was going to be shown at that time. Well, welcome to a typical Public Nigerian University system where the grasses (students) suffer when the elephants (lecturers and authorities) fight!!!

We moved from the department to PG school, ICT center, deputy VC's office to offices of supposed "influential lecturers" who could talk to the Dean of postgraduate school to lift the ban. Everyone claimed their hands were tied and could not help. A female lecturer did put a call through to the Dean of PG school to no avail. Finally, she said, "Don't worry, just go home and reapply next year, we would be here for you to ensure you get your admission." What!!! All my life I have never lobbied to get anything done, I was brought up to value hard work, give my best, all my admissions have been on merit.

I fought back my tears in public, when I got to my sister's house who lived within the city, I let them flow like springs of water. Memories of the traumatic experiences endured as an undergraduate played back in my head. I said to myself, “the system hasn’t changed a bit, is this what I have to put up with for another two years of my life?”

I went through undergraduate studies and made a second-class upper honours because I hated failure, I could not afford to graduate with a poor grade. After my compulsory national service year in 2017, I took a break from practicing architecture but stayed close to designing as a textile artist and buildings as a realtor because the architecture I was taught was defined by fear, judgment, insufficiency… and I never felt good enough. Those 5 years of my life, I tried to unlive it, always avoided questions about my background in Architecture because it was my pain point, to make it worse, thoughts of not being able to fulfill my dream as an architect were the biggest frustrations I woke up with daily.

The architecture I fell in love with as a kid was different, inspiring, enriching, sparked curiosity... While I mourned my experience, I decided to start all over and pursue an undergraduate degree in Architecture abroad, I searched online for affordable schools and was willing to work hard to raise the funds. Thoughts of scholarship were pushed away because there was this nagging “not enough” feeling inside. During one of my searches, it occurred to me to search for postgraduate diplomas in Architecture, then I came across the 3-year MArch program of Azrieli School of Architecture & Urbanism, Carleton University, Canada, for those without an architecture background and the Postbaccalaureate program called STUDIO FIRST held every summer by the same school. My hope was renewed.

I looked through the school’s website and online gallery several times, I was drawn to the works I saw despite not being able to interpret some of them. It looked like the Architecture I saw as a kid. By March 2020, it became a goal written down to achieve by 2021 because I could not meet up with the financial requirement in 2020. I wanted to take up a Masters scholarship in Instructional design at a USA school in 2020 through an agency in Nigeria, I decided I would work hard when I got there to raise funds for Studio First and the 3 Year MArch at Carleton University, my dream made me have strong faith. Shortly after was when the pandemic shut things down across the world and the Scholarship was not available for 2020 anymore.

During the pandemic, I worked hard, was able to raise some funds, and decided to go all in to invest with hedge fund managers because of my study plans. My parents were kind enough to cheer me on and support me on the investment journey too. Things were going fairly well and by January 2021, we were able to get an “Architecture worthy Laptop” if you know what I mean. My plan was to take the first studio first batch in May 2021 and work on MArch applications by July 2021. February 2021, the hedge funds market in Nigeria turned into troubled waters, many blame it on the frivolous lifestyle of some of its founders, but how about the unspoken policies of December and January that broke the camel’s back? May wasn’t looking feasible but I was not ready to give up and decided on the July-August batch in 2021 and postponing MArch applications to 2022.

I kept working hard and trying different legal means to raise funds but every of my attempt seemed to not work. I finally applied for Studio First in April with the help of my parents financially and had my siblings review my applications. I was happy to receive my acceptance letter, however, May 1st was the first payment deadline, I was sad because my plan had not worked, would this be another year of not getting any step closer to my dreams? I was so heartbroken that day, I developed a sudden pain on the right side of my chest that made me unable to take a deep breath, a doctor treated me for pleurisy and prescribed a medication that worked within few hours.

From the day of my first inquiry through my challenges, the Special Programs and Communications Officer for ASAU, Maria Cook, kept in touch to remind me of my interest. Every of my question was met with timely and respectful answers. I learned a higher way of communication from Maria, she was superb, every communications officer in the world has something to learn from her, she actually made me fall in love and be more curious to ask “Who are these people at Carleton University?” I could feel the love, care, and commitment to help others grow. There was no mail unanswered, even at a point, I questioned myself if I wasn't wearing them out with my stories back and forth. Because I strongly believe in miracles, I stayed hopeful, and at the chance of raising enough funds for my studio materials which was a bit less than 10% of total tuition, I said to myself, “I would rather order for the materials to be shipped to me in Nigeria in hopes that even if it was just a day to commencement, a miracle would happen and I would make payments.” Another thought said, “what if nothing happens?” I replied to myself “Then I’ll keep my studio package as a gift to myself, I’ll hug it and be comforted by it knowing that I tried all I could to achieve something in 2021.”

The last week in June, I was open about my financial struggles in one of my emails, I just had to tell the truth at that point so I do not appear to be unbothered about my missing payment deadlines. Afterward, I was a bit hard on myself and thought “stop making a mess of yourself, who really cares about your story?” However, I found the strength to keep my faith going for me, I was not expecting any form of help from the school, only to be surprised the following week, 4th July 2021 that I had been Enrolled in Studio First. In a previous mail which I did not see before reading the enrollment email, the school had given me a huge discount and was in touch with an organization to fund my tuition.

I was too happy and shocked at the same time. I have never had such a level of selfless kindness shown to me, all I could ask myself was “who are these people with rich hearts?” I became not just curious to learn about architecture, I was going to learn from every member of the faculty, I determined to study them all and my discoveries about them earned them a perfect score on the sheets of my heart. They were made up of different personalities but the heart to help the students grow made them so alike and impossible to pick a favourite. All through the program, I never felt black, I never felt Nigerian or African, I never felt poor, I was never made to feel like “Girl, behave yourself, this is a sponsored program for you after all.” In my eyes, all participants were treated equally, we were taught with intelligence, patience, calmness, and treated like humans. No question was stupid to ask, and you know what I enjoyed the most? It was the feedback sessions and Critic Day on Projects 1, 2, and 3.

Feedback was very empowering, all through my 5 years as an undergrad, I never looked forward to studio period and critic day (we called it jury where I studied) so eagerly like I did during Studio First. It was an opportunity to bring out the strength in your work and help you creatively look at getting things done better, not an opportunity to pull you down, abuse you, or attack your personality. I felt an undeniable passion from everyone who gave feedback on my work to make me better at designing and critical thinking. Every time and effort put into my work was worth it. Today, I can interpret drawings with collage and layering because I understand why it is being done.

I fell in love with CADs and software, one of the things I could use but dreaded to use, I’ll spare you the “Why” on this post. Each time I now turn on my PC to work, I am thankful for Studio First and to Jesse, our digital lab instructor for his patience. Until Studio First, I was new to using Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, and Rhino but was able to model my instrument in project 3 with Rhino and used Illustrator and Photoshop to finish up. I am also still working on improving my workflow between the apps and having a winning architectural portfolio.

Seeing the MArch Thesis Lecture presented by graduates from ASAU, Carleton University, also opened up my mind and heightened my curiosity, I just want to explore more, my appetite for architecture has been increased and instead of wiping those 5 years of my undergraduate studies, I want to refine them with all I have learned from Studio first.

Meanwhile, it is the beginning of happy work for me in Architecture, I desire to pursue the 3-year MArch program at ASAU, Carleton University by 2022. I am not afraid to share my work for criticism anymore, when you get to see my work, do feel free to ask questions, say your thoughts, suggest ways my drawings can be better, because, like this slang we say in Nigeria when we find something very enjoyable, “Studio is sweeting me.” I am sharing my story of hope and human kindness to encourage you that your dreams are valid regardless of challenges. In case you want to be an architect and you don’t know where to start, Studio First is the best first step.

I would also like to add that I am open to suggestions on how I can monetize my writing skills to fund my education plans. I haven’t been able to draw a clear path workable from Nigeria here with all my asking google question adventures. If you know of any remote job I can do too, I will appreciate you sharing. Thanks in advance.

Special thanks to all members of the faculty at Azrieli School of Architecture and Urbanism, Carleton University, Canada, my sponsors, instructors, and coordinators, Adriana, Piper, Connor, Gabrielle, Jesse, Nastassia, Maria, Jerry, Paul, and all graduates who presented their MArch Thesis, my parents, siblings, and Gideon for all your supports. You all made my 2021 a memorable one for good, you all are beautiful and amazing.

Studio First was my Miracle and all members of the ASAU faculty are my Angels, they gave me "5 weeks of Hope, 5 weeks of Impartation, 5 weeks of Happy-work, 5 weeks that opened up my mind to Possibilities, and 5 weeks that positively redefined 5 years of my life."

Special thanks to YOU for taking the time to read my long story too.

See you at the Top!

Photo Credits: Windows on Unsplash

Photo by M. on Unsplash

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