?? How to Strategically Choose Your People (Pt. 5) | Your Tribe - Diamyn Hall

Welcome back to The Winners Formula - Unlocking the winner within, at 5:55am.

Before we dive into

1. What Your Tribe is.?
2. Why Your Tribe is vital to your success.
3. The 10 Perspective Shifting Beliefs in order to Lead Your Tribe.
4. The 4 Principles to Select Your Tribe.?
5. The 7 Practical Keys to Lead & Serve Your Tribe.

Let's quickly look back at the first 4 parts of this series...

• Part 1 - Introduction to "The 4 Circles" Framework
• Part 2 - Selecting Your Board of Directors
• Part 3 - Selecting Your Sparring Partners
• Part 4 - Selecting Your Inner Circle

"The 4 Circles" Framework - The 4 main "circles of people" who super-achievers should surround themselves with in the game of life (in order to BECOME more, DO more, ACHIEVE more , & GIVE more).

1. ?? Your Board of Directors & Mentors - Your circle of mentors, coaches, trusted advisors who are highly experienced go-to people that provide you believable advice, wise counsel, strategic direction for important decisions in your life and career.
2. ?? Your Sparring Partners - Your circle of professional peers who challenge you, push your boundaries, and help you strengthen your skill stack through healthy competition, constructive feedback, and collaborative innovation.
3. ?? Your Inner Circle - Your circle of people who love, support, and believe in you unconditionally because of who you are, not what you do.
4. ?? Your Tribe - The circle of people who look to you for leadership, coaching, mentorship, guidance, & advice because they believe in what you stand for, look to you as a role model, and desire to learn from you.

LETS DIVE IN...

What is Your Tribe?

• Your Tribe - The people you lead, mentor, & caoch. Your tribe can consists of clients, employees, mentees, students, your athletes, your social media followers, your children, etc. With this group, it's about leading by example - as they watch everything you say & do. It’s about consistently sharing your wisdom, knowledge, and pouring into these individuals every chance you get - giving away all of your best stuff.

Why is Your Tribe (Those You Lead) so vital?

This category of people will bring you the most happiness & fulfillment during your lifetime. As humans whenever we serve and give to others in a meaningful way, you are fulfilling one of your deepest human needs…

Your need to contribute.

Whenever this need is met, you feel a plethora of positive emotions. This explains why research says that servant leadership is the most fulfilling leadership style.

As someone who oversees and leads the leadership development of:

• 4 sport programs
• 40 teams
• 40 coaching staffs
• 702 student athletes

at IMG on a weekly basis, I can honestly say that this the most fulfilling work I’ve ever done because of the endless opportunities to:?

• Build meaningful relationships of trust that will last a lifetime.
• Impact positive behavior change over time by focusing on moving the needle forward with short term and long term leadership development.
• Serve, coach, & contribute to 750+ humans every day in a positive way.

When it comes to Your Tribe, the same should be true.

It’s about contributing, serving, and giving to them in the purest ways possible.

It’s about making a positive impact on their lives - through:

• Understanding them
• Guiding them
• Coaching them
• Inspiring them
• Challenging them
• Encouraging them
• Empowering them to reach their full potential.

But before I share with you selection principles, I have to share with you the core beliefs you must possess in order to positively lead this group of people without mismanaging these relationships...

?? THE 10 PERSPECTIVE SHIFTING BELIEFS YOU MUST POSSESS IN ORDER TO POSITIVELY LEAD YOUR TRIBE ??

BELIEF 1 - "THE MEANING OF LIFE is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to GIVE it away." - Pablo Picasso

BELIEF 2 - "Remember that THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE are not those getting more, but those GIVING more." - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

BELIEF 3 - "THE VALUE OF A MAN resides in what he GIVES and not in what he is capable of receiving." - Albert Einstein

BELIEF 4 - "YOU HAVE TWO HANDS. One to help yourself, the second to HELP others." - Audrey Hepburn

BELIEF 5 - "YOUR GREATNESS is not what you have, it's what you GIVE."

BELIEF 6 - “The secret to living is giving”

BELIEF 7 - "Happiness doesn't result from what we get, but from what we give."

BELIEF 8 - "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." - Winston Churchill

BELIEF 9 - "The joy of giving lasts longer than the joy of receiving."

BELIEF 10 - "The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit." - Nelson Henderson

? THE 4 PRINCIPLES TO SELECTING YOUR TRIBE ?

? PRINCIPLE 1 - People in your tribe must be committed to life-long learning.

• SEEKERS OF KNOWLEDGE. I don’t know about you but I enjoy serving people who are proactive seekers of knowledge & growth. There's just something special about those who are genuinely curious and thirsty for knowledge.

? PRINCIPLE 2 - People in your tribe must be committed to life-long achievement.

• STRIVERS OF MORE. People in your tribe must be intrinsically motivated to consistently strive for more. They must have a burning desire to BE MORE, DO MORE, & ACHIEVE MORE. This let's you know that they are action takers!

? PRINCIPLE 3 - People in your tribe must be committed to life-long contribution.

• SERVANTS OF OTHERS. Great leaders do not create followers, they build other leaders. People in your tribe must possess the desire & need to serve others and contribute to the world in a positive way. At the end of the day this is one of the most important pieces to the human experience...GIVING. ADDING VALUE. CONTRIBUTING. SERVING. LEADING.

? PRINCIPLE 4 - Your vibe attracts your tribe!

Your energy, your vibes, and your radiance will attract other people with similar energy, vibes, and radiance. At the same time it will repel people who bring the opposite energy and radiance every day. Period.

Example 1: You can’t bring low energy & passive aggressive behaviors to the office every day and expect to effectively lead people who are passionate, high energy, & genuinely love what they do. It just doesn’t work that way. Pessimistic people don't mix well with optimistic people. Low performers don't mix well with high performers.

Example 2: "Fountains" (people who radiate optimism, elevate others, infuse vitality, foster collaboration, & strengthen relationships) will attract other fountains while simultaneously repelling people "drains" (those who emit negativity, suck energy, sap vitality, hinder cooperation, & strain relationships).

• CLICK HERE to review & study the article where I touched on this.

?? PRACTICAL KEYS TO SERVE YOUR TRIBE AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL ??

?? PRACTICAL KEY 1 - Notice.?

Notice when they are at your doorstep knocking for guidance. In the intricate fabric of human relationships, effective communication is often marked by subtlety. People rarely announce their needs with a bullhorn. Instead, they offer gentle knocks on the door of your attention. Recognizing these subtle cues is an invaluable skill in serving your tribe at the highest level.

1. Pay attention to what is being said. This entails not only hearing their words but also paying attention to their tone, body language, and the emotions behind their words, allowing you to hear the silent pleas for help, guidance, or support that may go unnoticed by others.. When someone reaches out subtly, they might be testing the waters or feeling hesitant. By mastering this, you can pick up on these cues and create a safe space for them to open up.
2. Build trust over time. A vital element in serving your tribe is trust. When people feel safe and supported, they are more likely to reach out when they need assistance, even in a subtle way. People approach those they trust when they need help. Trust is built through consistency, reliability, and empathetic understanding.
3. Offer a helping hand. Sometimes, when someone subtly seeks assistance, they may not want to burden others or admit vulnerability directly. In these cases, it's important to proactively offer your support. You can say something like, "I've noticed you've been going through a tough time lately. I'm here for you if you ever want to talk or need help with anything." This gentle approach can make it easier for them to open up.

?? PRACTICAL KEY 2 - Believe.?

See each member of your tribe as a “10”. Think of all of the leaders you’ve had during your lifetime... Who was your favorite leader? I can think of a few right now. For you, what made the leader you chose different? Was it their ability to understand and organize schedules? Was it how technically savvy they were? Was it their level of education? I’m almost willing to bet that the reason why you chose the person you chose was because he or she believed in you. That leader probably saw you as a 10. On the other hand, the leaders who tell you “I don’t believe you’re having that big of an impact” or makes passive aggressive comments whenever you present new ideas, or finds a way to point out all of your mistakes but stays silent when you do exceptional work - aren’t the ones who inspire you to learn and grow.

I make that point to reinforce that:

1. Believing in the people you lead, &
2. Then proactively expressing your belief in them

is simply invaluable!

Here’s what I focus on when it comes to seeing every human in my tribe as 10:

1. See them as who they have the potential to become. See them for their potential, not their mistakes. See them as a 10 at all times. Believe that they can become who they want to become. Sometimes all people need is someone to believe in them.
2. Let them “borrow” your belief in them. Sometimes they won’t fully believe in themselves. In those moments, it’s your role to let them borrow your belief in them.
3. Catch them doing good. Call them out for doing great things. When you catch people doing good things, then they’ll do less wrong things.
4. Give them the “10” treatment. No matter how well they perform, treat them well. Treat them like family. Treat them like humans (because they are).
5. Remind them. Remind them that you believe in them. Remind them that you love them. Remind them that you care about them. Remind them that you appreciate them. Remind them that you want to see them succeed & win (not only in their careers, but in the game of life).?

?? PRACTICAL KEY 3 - Be Curious & Seek to Understand

Learn everything about them from a foundation of curiosity in order to truly understand them, connect with them, & meet them where they are.

Deploy curiosity within your tribe by doing 4 things:

1. Ask questions - From a place of curiosity & care
2. Listen actively - Pay attention to what they're saying
3. Observe closely - Watch what they do
4. Empathize - Place yourself in their shoes

Understand your tribe by asking 12 questions:

1. What’s their backstory?
2. What was their childhood like?
3. What do they believe in?
4. What are their weaknesses & blind spots?
5. What are their strengths & talents?
6. What are the current challenges/problems they are facing that are holding them back?
7. What kind of internal pain is that causing them??
8. What does their belief structure look like (mental models)?
9. What are their goals, dreams, & aspirations?
10. What’s their deep rooted “why” behind the desire to achieve those things?
11. What are the human needs they consistently attempt to fill??
12. What positive feelings do they experience when those needs are met?

?? PRACTICAL KEY 4 - Serve & Share

• Serve - Giving is good for you! When we give to others it activates the areas of the brain associated with pleasure, social connection and trust. Altruistic behavior releases endorphins in the brain and boosts happiness for us as well as the people we help. Hints this is why research shows that the best & happiest leaders are servant leaders! Research shows that being kind to others increases our own levels of happiness as well as theirs. Studies show that giving money away tends to make people happier than spending it on themselves. The same is true with knowledge & experience you acquire.?
• Share - Give away your best stuff. Give your tribe everything you have without expecting anything in return! Pour into them as much as you can by sharing your knowledge. It embodies the philosophy of giving freely and unconditionally to your tribe, pouring knowledge, resources, and support into their lives. By sharing your best and most treasured insights, you provide them with a priceless gift that has the potential to transform their lives. It's an investment in their growth, a testament to your commitment to their well-being. It's a profound act of selflessness that not only elevates your tribe but also separates you from the knowledge hoarders.

?? PRACTICAL KEY 5 - Connect & Inspire

• Connect - The art of building and nurturing meaningful relationships. It acknowledges the inherent human need for social bonds and interactions. Connecting is a deliberate and sincere effort to bridge gaps, whether they be geographical, cultural, or personal, by creating shared experiences and understanding. A connector is not only a communicator but also an empathetic listener, facilitator, and bridge builder. It involves establishing relationships that foster support, collaboration, and a sense of belonging. Connecting enriches lives by creating opportunities for shared growth, learning, and community, and it serves as a cornerstone of human interaction, both on a personal and professional level.
• Inspire - To inspire is to spark the flames of intrinsic motivation within your tribe. It recognizes the human need to be moved by powerful stories, emotions, and actions. Inspiring is an intentional act of sharing ideas, visions, & experiences that light a fire of creativity and determination. An inspirer is both a storyteller and a catalyst for positive change, aiming to awaken the potential within other people (specifically your tribe). This involves painting a vivid picture of what can be achieved, evoking a sense of purpose, and instilling the belief that challenges can be overcome. Inspiring is a force that propels people toward their aspirations and fuels the drive to make a meaningful impact on the world. I’m always looking for new and innovative ways to inspire my tribe to BECOME more, DO more, ACHIEVE more, & GIVE more.?

?? PRACTICAL KEY 6 - Challenge & Coach

Developing and coaching are what I live for.?

• Challenge - Consistently nudge your tribe members to step outside of their comfort zones. It’s the only way they will experience growth and achieve their goals that they currently don’t have. It's a deliberate and empowering act that acknowledges the profound potential lying beyond the boundaries of familiarity. It is up to you to push your tribe to explore uncharted territories and take risks they might not have otherwise considered. It's an invitation from you to your tribe members to embrace discomfort because it’s the true pathway to growth. It’s an opportunity to give them the strength to face obstacles and adversities head-on.
• Coach - The art of knowledge transmission and skill cultivation. It involves the deliberate act of sharing expertise, wisdom, and insights to empower others to acquire new understanding and abilities. If you're a coach who is anything like me, then there’s one thing you understand & love - developing people. Coaching stems from an innate desire to see others progress, it requires intention and taking active steps to invest in the lives of others. Contrary to what some might think, I believe everybody has the potential for development. No-one has ever reached the ultimate level of excellence — there is always room for growth. If you are a coach like me, then it is up to you and I to help others realize and use their potential to experience success. As a result, we must stay on the hunt for more effective & efficient ways to facilitate their learning. From challenging their thoughts in a discussion to creating psychologically safe environments that facilitate positive belief & behavior change. As a leader, you must deeply care about the development of your tribe members, and they’ll respect you and appreciate you for it.

?? PRACTICAL KEY 7 - Foster Positive Behavior Change within Your Tribe

Fostering positive behavior change within your tribe is the art of leadership that champions transformation and growth. As a leader, you have a profound impact in guiding your tribe members towards more beneficial behaviors EVERY DAY. This means prioritizing an environment where your tribe members feel inspired, feel supported, and feel empowered to embrace positive change.

Great leaders consistently foster positive development by encouraging and praising the adoption of positive beliefs, habits, and behaviors that align with shared goals and values. This is rooted in servant leadership, empathy, mentorship, and accountability. It also leads to increased happiness, fulfillment, and success for your tribe members which ultimately equals better results in the short term and long term!

As a leadership coach who is consistently

• coaching,
• teaching,
• & developing

all 702 of my athletes each week,

I’ve discovered a few keys that I'd like to share with you that have allowed me to become more and more effective when it comes to

• Behavior & habit change
• Behavior & habit improvement
• Behavior & habit management.

This could be a full article itself, but for the sake of time I will make it quick and easy to understand.

When it’s all said and done, effective behavior change is about "catching people doing things right" & "hunting the good stuff".

Let me explain.

There are two categories of behaviors:

• Desired behaviors - behaviors you want to see more of
• Undesired behaviors - behaviors you want to see less of

?? THE OLD SCHOOL WAY of giving feedback to desired behaviors and undesired behaviors - This is what the most ineffective leaders, coaches, teammates & people do consistently. I’ll use sports as an example because it’s the realm I coach in every day and I believe it’s easiest to understand.

• Athlete executes undesired behavior → Coach believes “I need to fix this now so it doesn't happen again.” → Coach stops practice & punishes/corrects the behavior. → Athlete is embarrassed & frustrated

• Athlete executes desired behavior → Coach believes “You did what you were supposed to do, why would I praise that?” → Coach ignores it, stays silent, & does nothing. →

• Percentage of feedback that is praise vs correction: 10% praise. 90% correction.

• Result: “Expectations without praise leads to a cold, entitled environment.”

? THE NEW SCHOOL WAY of giving feedback to desired behaviors and undesired behaviors - This is what the most effective leaders, coaches, teammates, & people do.

• Athlete executes undesired behavior → Coach believes “This is a teaching moment to help them grow. Let’s convert this behavior.” → Coach pauses to use as a teaching moment → Coach converts the behavior

• Athlete executes desired behavior → Coach believes “This is what I want to positively reinforce. Let’s visibly praise this.” → Coach pauses to visibly praise? → Coach reinforces the behavior

• Percentage of feedback that is praise vs correction: 90% praise. 0% correction. 10% converting.

• Result: “When you consistently catch people doing things right, then they’ll do more of it. As a result, they’ll do less wrong things.”

Before I share with you my personal beliefs of the most effective ways to change behavior, I want to paint a picture of

Average coaches, leaders, parents

vs

Championship coaches, leaders, parents

Here's what average coaches percentages look like:

• Correct undesired behaviors - 50%
• Ignore desired behaviors - 45%
• Praise desired behaviors - 5%

Here's what championship coaches percentages look like:

• Praising desired behaviors - 90%
• Ignoring desired behaviors - 0%
• Converting undesired behaviors by teaching - 10%
• Correcting undesired behaviors - 0%

?? “When you consistently catch people doing things right, then they’ll do more of it. As a result, they’ll do less wrong things.”

The ONLY two ways I change, improve, & manage behaviors:

• Praise (Reinforce)
• Teach (Convert)

My 2 leadership & coaching absolutes when it comes to behavior change, improvement, & management (no matter who you're leading) are:

• Desired Behaviors - PRAISE in order TO REINFORCE the behavior.
• Undesired Behaviors - TEACH in order TO CONVERT the behavior.

It just works...

And it could work for you too!

?? REFLECT - Take a moment to reflect on the insights shared in this article.

?? COMMENT - What stuck out to you most from this article?

Until next time,

- Coach Diamyn ??