??? How to Stop Worrying About What People Think
Anna Manning
Executive Confidence Coach | Corporate Trainer | Host of the "Confident At Work" Podcast
Ever found yourself agonising over what other people think at work?
In the latest episode of the Confident at Work podcast, I delve into a topic that (privately) affects so many professionals - worrying about what other people think. And I've had my own recent example!
You might have noticed a fun little jingle at the start of the podcast. Catchy, isn’t it??? Well, right before it was due to go live, I suddenly started to worry about what people might think. Would they find it cheesy? Would it put them off? My own little bout of working about what you might like, inspired this episode: why do we care so much about what others think and how can we just stop?
Why It's Happening
- We’re All Social Creatures: It’s natural to care about others’ opinions. We’re wired to connect and be accepted in our communities, workplaces, and social circles.
- The Low Confidence Cycle: Excessive worry about others’ thoughts can be part of a wider problem - a cycle of low confidence, making us second-guess our ideas, actions, and even successes. Find out whether you're stuck in a low confidence cycle here.
- Fear of Rejection: Your worry might stem from a fear of rejection. We worry that making a mistake or being perceived in a certain way might lead to professional or social isolation and excessive worrying is happening trying to keep us safe from this outcome occurring. Yes, I. know it doesn't make good sense, when you think about it logically, but you didn't!
- Overestimating Judgements: Research shows that we often overestimate how harshly others judge us. Most people aren’t as focused on our perceived blunders as we might think nor do they actually judge us as harshly as we estimate they will. Good news!
领英推荐
How To Stop!
1. Identify Patterns: Take the confidence assessment to see if worrying about what others think is part of a broader issue affecting your confidence at work.
2. Verbalise Your Worries: When you catch yourself hesitating or second-guessing, try filling in the blank: What I'm really afraid of is that.... Sometimes, just recognising and acknowledging your actual fear will give you some useful perspective.
3. Recognise, When It's Not You, It's Me: Is it them who think you're going to look rubbish at your job, or is it actually you who is thinking that? Often, we project our own worries onto others. I'll help you spot if it's really you who is thinking it, then help you figure out how to deal with it from there.
4. Decide how Many Sh*ts You Have To Give: A former client decided she had just ten sh*ts to give per day. By creating physical little paper paper poos and 'spending' them each time she worried about what someone else was thinking, she was able to start noticing what was going on for her, and eventually, change the habit!
Over To You
If you’re tired of letting worry about what other think dictate your days at work, give this episode a listen and learn how you can start to change the habit: