How to Stop Worrying
My name is Luna and I'm?a recovering?worrier.
For those who don’t know my story, I first set foot in this wonderful country in 1998.
I came from Cuba, an impoverished dictatorship that has been eating away at people’s souls for the last 60 years.
As you can imagine, coming from nothing to the land of opportunity was quite a shock. And understandably, I promised never to go hungry again and provide for all my needs.
This was a great decision, which allowed me to be financially successful. But, it also put me in a constant state of doing and achieving -with very little focus on BEING.
The minute something went wrong, I would lose my temper. When facing a new problem, I wouldn’t allow myself to relax until I solved it.?
What a way?to live!
From the outside, my life seemed fun and successful. But the truth is my world was slowly crumbling down.
Many challenging things happened, which are subjects for other posts, but eventually, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.?
One great helper was running into the book “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” by Dale Carnegie.
I started applying the principles, experiencing relief in a new way of operating, and my self-development journey has never stopped.
I went from worrier to dancer!?????
I learned to dance and flow with life in all its pain and glory, accepting what it brought with no exception, putting worry almost entirely (I’m still human) to the side.
And so, I want to share with you some of the precepts I used successfully to keep worrying at bay, in hopes they also serve you.
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1. PRACTICE MINDFULNESS
“Worry is a misuse of imagination.” -Dan Zadra
It is also anticipating a catastrophe based on past information.?In other words, dwelling in the past and the future, away from the present moment.
This is where the practice of mindfulness comes in handy, as it allows you to stay focused on the infinite NOW.
Whenever I start going down the worry hole, I stop to ask myself: “am I physically okay right now? How would I feel without this thought?”
This allows me to return to the present, stopping the rollercoaster of anxious thoughts.
As the practice of mindfulness grew inside me, I started flowing more with life, trusting the magical order behind the seeming chaos.
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2. TAKE (MASSIVE) ACTION
One of the reasons why we sometimes worry is not taking sufficient action.?So, there’s a disconnection between what we?say?we want and what we do to get it.?
This, understandably, creates anxiety and a sense of frustration.
So, whenever worry shows up, ask yourself: “what can I DO RIGHT NOW to move closer to a solution?”
If there’s nothing you can do at that time, but it can be done at a future time, schedule it immediately. As you become consistent with this practice, you’ll see a significant decrease and even the disappearance of worry.
You will simply start trusting that you’ll get things done.
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3. LEARN TO SURRENDER
What if there’s nothing I can do to resolve the issue?...
That’s when surrender comes into the picture, and (I know) easier said than done... But learning to submit to the inevitability of things has been one of the most transformational practices in my life, and I want it to be for you too.
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There are, indeed, events that you have zero control over. However, you ALWAYS have control over how you respond to what happens.
Some great books on the subject are:
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4. STAY PRACTICAL
When you genuinely understand how futile worrying is, you naturally let it go.
I mean, if worrying resolved any part of my problems, I’d be doing it all day!
However, the opposite is true, as worry significantly decreases (to the point of impeding) our problem-solving ability.
Some more fruitful things you can do instead are:
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5. RELEASE CONTROL
This is similar to surrendering, but not entirely.?
Some people think they won’t be able to resolve their problems unless they worry, but nothing could be further from the truth.
And if you say: “But I can’t help it! This is who I am.” Then I say, “Fight for your limitations, and they shall be yours!”
I used to worry myself sick, and now I don’t.
I’m still me, just a more powerful version. Everyone can do the same; all it takes is a decision followed by consistent action.
This way of thinking has also benefited my projects, where I focus on my INPUT, letting go of the result (OUTPUT).
Some would say this isn’t a winner’s mentality, but I tell you, the more you let go of wanting a specific result, the more intense you can be about your efforts.
Ultimately, what happens isn’t entirely (if at all) in our control.
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6. THINK WORST-CASE SCENARIO
Stop to consider the possibility of the very worst happening. What would you do then? How would your life be?
Most times, worst-case scenarios never materialize, and we realize we made ourselves sick for nothing. But it serves to consciously imagine it happening and discover the world wouldn’t end.
To think of some extreme examples, if we go homeless, we could probably still find a plate of food and a couch to spend the night.?
So, can we live with it for a while? Isn’t it great to be alive and maybe healthy? We would probably find a way to restore our wealth and even surpass it (many real-life examples of it abound).
Once we make peace with the very possible worst, we can go back, take a deep breath, and explore options with more ease.
It is remarkable how inflated things can get in our heads. So, doing this exercise and only then writing down our actionable choices free us up emotionally to be more creative.?
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Life is most enjoyed when we learn to dance with it.
So, I hope you decide to “stop worrying and start living” and that these precepts help you.
Stay blessed,
Luna