How to Stop Wallowing in a Job You Don’t Enjoy and Do Something About it

When you’re fed up and unhappy in your job, it can be easy to allow yourself to become a victim by wallowing in self pity, blaming everyone and everything for your situation. By wallowing and moaning, it helps to cover your true fears and self limiting beliefs about making a career change. It stops you from facing and dealing with the reality of your situation.

Have you ever met someone who has been in their job for years, they’re fed up with the job, and fed up with the organisation and moan about it to anyone who will give them the time of day and listen, but yet they don’t do anything about it? Or, does this describe you?

Wallowing allows them to focus on what’s not working, what’s not right for them, rather than facing the uncomfortableness and fear that exists beyond the realms of their comfort zone.

It invariably boils down to fear

And that is what it boils down to. FEAR. Fear of making that change, fear of the unknown, fear that things won’t work out. Fear that they won’t survive…

The thought of actually doing something about it can not only seem overwhelming, thoughts can be running through their mind such as I’m not good enough, or I can’t do anything else. So rather than face those fears, you stay as you are, becoming more and more miserable as time goes on.

You may be under challenged and bored in your current role and not working to your full potential. Not learning anything new and not growing personally. Over time, you get stuck in a rut and this can affect your self confidence.

What do you think the impact of all this complaining and moaning will be?

Constant complaining and moaning will only make you see things in a negative light and if you’re not careful, that will end up becoming your reality. Considering you spend most of your waking hours at work, what do you think the impact of such constant complaining and moaning will have on you long term? 

We are very much led by our emotions and how we are feeling. This affects how we act and behave. If you have such a negative outlook, that will be reflected in how you act and behave. And not only that, your mood will impact those around you.

It can also be stressful, causing you to feel anxious, which will eventually start to affect you physiologically.

Be a victor not a victim

No one else is responsible for your happiness and development but you. And whilst a good employer will want to develop their employees, if you feel that you are not developing yourself, or if you feel your skills are out of date, no one is obliged to do anything about it. The only person who is obliged to is you.

If you don’t do anything about your situation and stay as you are, if you are unhappy now, how do you think you will be in another 5 years’ time?

Whilst staying as you are may seem the easier option, when you consider the long term effects, is it really?

When we become stuck in a rut, the thought of changing can be pretty scary. In a survey that I did, 78% of employed women said that fear prevented them from pursuing work that they loved. That fear of the unknown, fear of failure and feeling like you’re not in control of the outcome creates a lot of uncertainty.

In order to make the transition less scary, make the uncertain become more certain. Take the uncertainty out of the situation by getting clear about what you want, what you need to do and how you will go about doing it.

What possible opportunities could there be?

What are your worries and fears about making a career change? What do you think will happen as a result? What do you think you will lose? Make a list of your answers to these questions. After you have made that list, make a list of the possible opportunities that could exist if you decide to change your job? What is it that you always wanted to do but never had the courage to pursue it? What could you be excited about? What could you look forward to? What could you gain?

Having written this list, how do you feel now about making a career change? What can you do to make the opportunities you identified happen?

What does your new career look like?

Imagine yourself in the near future, having made a change and that you are now doing work that you not only enjoy but that you love. Work that is fulfilling, that stretches your and where you utilise your skills and strengths. Spend some time writing down what this looks and feels like. Even if you don’t yet know what it is that you want to do, imagine what it feels like.

Create a clear an image in your mind as you can. What kind of people are you working with? How are you dressed?  What is the environment like that you work in? What sort of things are you doing? What skills are you using? How are you utilising your strengths?

Having created this vision of your future role, make a list of all the things that you can think of that need to happen for you to get from where you are now to what you wrote about. What support do you need? Who can support you? Where can you find information about what you need to do?

Get clear about what the steps are that you need to take, create a plan then go ahead and make it happen.

If you are fed up and unhappy with your job, rather than being miserable and allowing yourself to become a wallowing victim, take action and do something about it. You spend far too many hours at work to be unhappy.

Have you made a career change and gone from doing a job that you were unhappy and unfulfilled in, to doing a job that you love? If so, what was it that made you do something about it and how did you go about making that change?

If you are unhappy in your current role, want to change career but are fearful of making that move or don't know what you want to do, or you are facing redundancy, CAREER CHANGE: HOW TO MOVE FROM FEAR TO FABULOUS is a virtual workshop taking place on Wednesday 19 October at 7pm BST. It will help you to address and overcome your fears, start identifying what you want to do and the opportunities that exist and you will start planning your next steps. Find out more and secure your place here.

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ABOUT ME:

I am The Coach for High Achieving Introverted Women, a Writer, Speaker, UK top 50 Business Adviser and the founder of Abounding Solutions. I help introverted women to be authentic, bold, confident leaders and excel in their careers and businesses.

I also help organisations develop the talent pipeline of female employees so that more women make it to senior management roles.

I write here on LinkedIn, on my website and on Huffington Post on subjects to help women achieve optimal potential in their careers and businesses.

Are you a high achieving introverted woman? A woman striving to be the best that you can be. A woman who wants to be a sphere of influence and be an authentic, bold, confident leader, excelling in your career or business. Do you want to make a difference and a positive impact in your respective field or community? Do you want to do this AND be true to who you are, whilst living a meaningful, purposeful, balanced life? If this is you and you're not part of the community, come on over and join the conversation here