How to Stop Stressing Over Mistakes and Lead with Confidence

Have you ever been in that moment of pure frustration when a mistake—yours or someone else's—sends you spiraling into worry and worst-case scenarios?

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I've been there more times than I'd like to admit.

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But here's the thing:?Mistakes and setbacks are inevitable.?How you respond to them?truly defines your leadership.

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Today, we're flipping the script on how we view mistakes and setbacks. But first, let me share a quick story.

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Picture this: I'm 24, fresh out of college, working my first job as a Marketing Coordinator at BJ's Wholesale Club. One day, I was working with the loss prevention team—the detectives of retail. Their job is to ensure the company doesn't lose too much product from theft or accidents.

They shared a critical lesson that stuck with me:

Every year, they expect and plan for a certain amount of loss. Whether it's a broken spaghetti jar or stolen goods, their job isn't to eliminate the loss entirely (because that's impossible) but to shrink the impact on the business.

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Mind. Blown. ?Prepare For Productive Failures

As leaders, we need to adopt the same mindset. ?Mistakes, whether they're missed opportunities, project failures, or team errors, are inevitable.

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Here's a harsh truth, if you hold on to the unrealistic expectation that your team (or you) will never mess up, you're setting yourself up for constant frustration.

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Your job isn't to prevent mistakes—it's to minimize their impact and create a culture where your team learns, grows, and keeps moving forward.

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Method: Create a Learning Culture, not a Blame Game

Imagine two scenarios:

1. A team member makes a mistake. The leader immediately asks, "Who's responsible for this mess?"
2. The same mistake occurs. The leader calmly inquires, "What can we learn from this?"

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Which environment would you rather work in? Exactly.

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Your reaction to mistakes sets the tone for your entire team. Instead of playing the blame game, create a learning environment where people feel safe owning up to errors and digging into the lessons behind them.

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Action: Shrink the Impact, Grow the Insight

Here’s how you can reduce the impact of mistakes and turn them into valuable learning opportunities for you and your team:

1. Catch Yourself: When a mistake happens, take a deep breath and remind yourself, "I/We can learn and grow from this moment."
2. Lead with Curiosity, Not Judgment: When things go wrong, approach the situation with curiosity. Ask, "What did we learn from this?" and "How can we prevent it from happening again?" or, "Who might I need to apologize to?" Taking ownership softens the sting of mistakes and moves you toward growth. This promotes growth instead of guilt and helps create a learning culture.
3. Reframe the Conversation: The next time a team member stumbles, resist the urge to criticize. Instead, ask, "What can we learn from this?" or, "Next time, what would you do differently?"
4. Normalize Productive Failures: Make it a habit to discuss mistakes and lessons learned during team meetings. This will help create a culture where failures are seen as stepping stones to growth.
5. Measure Differently: Focus less on tracking mistakes and more on the insights gained and improvements made as a result.

Bonus Tip: Lead by Example Show your team that you're human and make mistakes too. Share a recent mistake of your own, explain what you learned, and how you're applying that insight going forward. This builds trust and encourages open dialogue.

Which tip resonates the most for you?

Talk soon!

Kandia

P.S. If you've been waiting for the right moment to break through self-doubt and show up as the bold leader you're meant to be—this is it.

?Join my FREE 5 Days to Unstoppable Confidence Email Challenge, where you'll discover proven strategies to overcome fear and silence self-doubt.