How to Stop Self-Sabotaging Behaviors

Have you ever done something that caused big problems for you and seemed to be in direct opposition to what you truly wanted? Like consistently shown up late for work even though your boss warned that you were treading on thin ice? Or perhaps you kept feeling compelled to eat junk food and find excuses not to visit the gym even though you were trying to lose a few pounds and to get in shape?

If you have been in situations similar to these, you know what I'm talking about. The good (or bad?) news is that you are not alone.

But... Why do we do these things? -you may ask. You would think that setting a goal and creating a plan would be enough to get us where we want to go, right? Well, usually -and unfortunately- that's not enough.

Oftentimes our subconscious mind will work against us, even if we believe in our goal and consciously know that we want something. There are several possible reasons why we do this, but they most often involve a fear or an ingrained habit, or both.

Fear is one of the main stoppers of Attracting your ideal life, and it can be powerful if we allow it to be. Sometimes the fear is so strong, that it results in paralysis.

If we don't learn to deal with fear, we won't even try and our plan will stagnate.

We can't attract what we want if we allow fear and paralysis to take over our lives!

Keep in mind that it takes action to activate the life of your dreams. Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway ; be courageous. Face fear head on. Most likely, others have accomplished similar feats to the one you want.

If others have done it, so can you. Take that first step and keep on moving forward. Take a look at these behaviors and ask yourself whether they have ever derailed you from your plans:

Behavior #1
Procrastination

If you've ever found yourself holding back on doing something even though you kept telling yourself you really needed or wanted to do it, you were procrastinating.

You may have felt drawn to watch endless hours of television, or felt compelled to suddenly clean out your basement, or caused dramatic episodes with friends and family members for no apparent reason - all so you wouldn't have to work on what you're really supposed to... your goals.

Obviously, you were trying to distract yourself. Why? Believe it or not, procrastination usually has little to do with laziness and more to do with avoidance. Most often, you are trying to avoid an underlying fear or resistance that you don't feel ready to handle.

When this happens to you, start by asking yourself... What am I trying to avoid? And most importantly... Why? Whatever answers you come up with, jot them down. By seeing them on paper you'll be able to notice they are all related to pain.

Here are some conflicting thoughts that may arise... "If I succeed my friends won't like me anymore" or, "If I succeed I'll have to deal with headaches, such as hiring accountants and paying taxes" or, "I know a few rich people and they are all jerks"or other similar ideas.

When your subconscious mind relates your new goal to situations that could cause pain, the result will be procrastination.

But you can stop this pattern. Truly.  It's all about beliefs. Stop and think for a moment... it doesn't have to be lonely at the top, and you don't have to become an unpleasant individual. This depends on you and you alone... your choice!

And it certainly is much better to pay taxes than worrying every single month about making ends meet. Don't you think?

Have you seen all those groups of friends playing at the golf course on a Wednesday morning? They don't seem lonely, do they?

By changing your beliefs, you will change your attitude and you will stop procrastinating too. We'll talk more about this tomorrow as we'll discuss the power of focus.

Behavior #2
Deep-Rooted Habits

No matter how fired up you are about your goals, your old ingrained habits can seem as solid as concrete. The biggest mistake we often make is underestimating the amount of energy and effort that will be required when we first start making changes.

 We're used to doing things in a certain way, like on auto-pilot; so when we try to change those comfortable old routines, we feel nervous and out of place. Psychologists call this "stepping out of the comfort zone" and it can be real hard for most of us.

In order to become comfortable with new habits, you need to stick with them long enough so that they become second nature. Remember, that's how you got comfortable where you are, even if it's not exactly where you want to be.

An incredible amount of focus and willpower may be needed in order to change your old habits, but eventually they will become as solid as concrete too. Decide now to just do it even if it feels uncomfortable. Borrowing Nike's famous phrase... "Just Do It!

Keep in mind that you'll be activating The Law of Attraction to manifest your dreams.

Just do it no matter what and before you know it, you'll be comfortable again.The difference is that now you'll feel comfortable with your new adopted behavior. It's like developing a
"new" comfort zone.

Yes, that's exactly what you're doing... developing a new comfort zone that is more in sync with your goals!

Learn to Recognize Your Signs of Self-Sabotage

The greatest gift you can give yourself is self-awareness. The subconscious nature of self-sabotage is what makes it so difficult to recognize, but with enough honest introspection you will begin to understand yourself better.

When you do, you will be learning to know yourself, to be more compassionate towards yourself, to love yourself, and to identify when you are working in opposition to your goals.

You'll be able to see why the law of attraction has not worked for you and correct your approach. You'll be able to tell when you feel fearful and hesitant about stepping out of your comfort zones. You'll recognize avoidance behaviors and take steps to turn them around immediately.

Keep in mind that all you do is related to pain and pleasure. Stop and think if the belief you have about a certain thing is preventing you from moving forward because you believe it'll cause you pain.

Now, consciously and purposefully think how modifying that certain belief can set you on a path to achieve your goals and how that would create pleasure. Do this often and every time you catch yourself procrastinating.

It may not be easy at first, but with practice, patience and self-understanding, you'll get better and better at recognizing these patterns. It is simple once you get a hold of it. You just have to be willing to pay attention, overcome fear and continue along the path to success - no matter what it takes.

Tomorrow we're going to cover another important component of success... Focus.

Wishing You Enlightenment in Your Self-Discovery!