How to Stop Proving Yourself to Others

Today's highly competitive volatile, ambiguous, uncertain, confusing and constantly changing world [VUCA as well as disruptive] – puts very heavy pressure and takes big-toll on almost every aspects of our lives.

The constant disruptive pressures and changes plays havoc in our Relationships, Our Happiness, Our Successes and on our Self- Image/ Self-esteem/ Self-confidence/ Self-worth etc etc.

Which in turn is responsible for making us feel Insecure, Unsure, and Confused – creating a vicious cycle.

Many of the current millennials and generation Zs - are growing up with FOMO*[fear of missing out].

And we get caught-up in trying to seek others’ approval, other's acceptance and other's validations of our actions, wishes and even life.

You may not know the keys to your success - but the one of the definite keys to failure is trying to please others.

Many of us may start comparing our lives based on others social media posts.

It has become so serious – that many of us may attach our self-worth by how many likes we get.

So Many of us spend our almost entire life - trying to impress others. What a colossal waste.

We all know how good it feels to have somebody look at you with awe in their eyes – It becomes especially great if that someone is the one - you look up to and respect.

And while this experience is fantastic [only when it is earned naturally, unintentionally and simply as the outcome of doing what has made you feel good].

BUT It will play havoc with our self-confidence and sub-conscious – when we try to manufacture this situation.

The fact is that when we are trying to project an image of who we are not [by exaggerating our accomplishments, qualities and intentions] – it only impacts us negatively as in our sub-conscious we very well know that we are lying

Why We are we so eager to impress people – because as human being we are hungry for meaning - But when we have not reached the level to make it worthy for us – we tend to compensate our feelings with an artificial booster from others.

People who believe in themselves don’t need public recognition to reassure their worth - If you believe in yourself, you won’t care what others think.

In fact - The idea to write this article came out when one of the portals asked me to write blog on => "What is one piece of advice I will give to Large groups and Which I found it difficult to follow it Myself at times".

Because I have lived almost 50 years doing the same very thing – now only since last few years I am trying to live as per my terms, my passions and my dreams.

But it is not easy – 50 years of conditioning there are emotional turmoil and inner resistance which makes me go back to old behavior now and then - but because my sub-conscious finds the life to be happier and less stressful, it has started to support me.

I find the following changes since I am trying to live this life

1.      I started fully believing and living the concept that The Only Person You Should Live to Impress Is Yourself – as It is now or never for each one of us AND ONLY THIS LIFE.

2.     I am no longer ashamed to love the things I love or to express who I am.

3.     The biggest thing I have learned is that not everything I do – needs to be explained it to others AND neither I have to prove myself to others [unless it is a formal examination or interview - that I am taking by my own choice].

4.     I have learned to focus on living meaningful life - and not for gaining applause from others.

5.     Someone asked me why I write BLOGs – I told him it is because I enjoy writing [Even if no one ever reads it is perfectly alright with me].

6.     I also don't feel the need or urge to make my presence noticed

7.     Instead I choose to do things which adds value.

8.    As I have stopped comparing myself with others – my anxiety levels too have come down.

9.     Just because your life doesn't match somebody else's does not mean that it isn't exciting and full.

10. Because I have attempted big goals – consequently I too have my fair share of failures, pain, miseries, setbacks – along with satisfactions, successes and happiness.

Few Meanings of Live to Express Yourself – it has many elements [in fact you will identify many more additional points]

1.      Saying what you really feel – Of-Course – nicely, politely, assertively, respectfully

2.     Expressing your views, opinions, perspective, pleasure, dis-pleasure, likes, dislikes, appreciation, apologies, love, affections

3.     Doing what makes you feel come alive – [say like the proverb dance like no one is watching – HERE – my take – Dancing when you want it where you want it and irrespective of anyone watching you or not

4.     Doing what scares you BUT also makes your adrenalin rush in such a way to make it thrilling and exciting

5.     Being yourself – accepting openly your mistakes, failures, weaknesses

6.     Loving yourself unconditionally

7.     Stretching yourself in the realm of Unknown, uncertain and ambiguous AND failing because you attempted the larger than life goals

8.    Learning all the time – making it fun

9.     Accepting your ignorance without feeling guilty

10. Giving your 100%* and Focusing* on Excellence* only

11.  Letting go of the past – especially because you gave your 100% AND because no one can really go back and change their past

12. Developing the habit of being an Action-Person to fill your days with the High-Payoff activities [like creating meaning in your life, nurturing relationships, taking care of yourself, adding value to others AND not giving damn to what others Do/say/think about you

19 Basics Understanding that You Need To Create within Yourself - about the WHYs of Trying to Impress Others and Proving Ourselves

1.      Understand that You don't need anyone to assure you that you are smart

2.     You don't need to inform people that you are exercising

3.     You don't need others to tell you that you are pretty or handsome

4.     You don't need to impress anyone by how much makeup you wear - GIRL YUR FACE IS NOT A COLORING SHEET – JUST CHILL OUT WITH YOUR NATURAL BEAUTY

5.     Fact is that - No one [at least who matters to you] - really care about that pimple on your face - Wear makeup because it makes you feel good and not because people will think you are beautiful and get attracted to you

6.     You need to impress only yourself

7.     Your dignity is not determined by the opinions of others

8.    You can’t please and satisfy everyone

9.     Trying to impress people by putting up an act - is very exhausting

10. The right people will love you for who you really are, and respect you for your thoughts

11.  You would lose yourself in your search for acceptance by others 

12. Society’s materialistic measurement of worth is worthless

13. Life isn’t a race - you have nothing to prove

14. The path to all great things passes through failure

15. Be Yourself*  - People Will Judge You Anyway

16. Accept that we can’t control others’ opinions

17.  Your standards for your life are the only standards that matter

18. Understand and see - if your life is centered on comparing yourself to others - You will be depressed thinking about the people who are having better life than yourself

19. Understand that Good thing sells itself and a bad thing must be advertised

36 Tips How to Stop Trying to Impress Other People - by Discovering how you can minimize the look at me urge to live a happier and more fulfilled life – ALL *MARKED ONES HAVE separate DIY blogs in Success Unlimited Mantra portal – "from the Heart of Subhashis"

Find out why you’re trying to impress others - for full read "Stop Trying to Prove Yourself" in Success Unlimited Mantra's From the Heart of Subhashis