How to Stop Oversharing
When to keep things in

How to Stop Oversharing

Here are two scenarios.?

In the first scenario, you share vulnerably with someone in your life about everything that is on your heart–your joys, your pains, your fears, your desires.?

You feel grounded in your authentic self and how you are choosing to share your deepest truths. The conversation feels good in your bodyit’s a mutual give-and-take that builds connection and leaves you feeling seen, heard, and understood.

In the second scenario, you share vulnerably with someone in your life, and you can feel the weight of your words pressing down on you. Your body contracts, you feel fear and uncertainty, and yet you still don’t stop.?

Despite the honesty of the moment, something doesn’t feel right–perhaps you've revealed too many layers of yourself, and now you're left feeling exposed, vulnerable, and rejected.

At the end of the conversation, you can’t shake the feeling that you lost a piece of yourself along the way…

On the surface of these two scenarios, you are doing the same thing.?

Yet they have vastly different emotional impacts–for you and the other person.

So, what’s the difference? Knowing WHEN and HOW to share.

The sensation of oversharing–of baring our souls in the hopes of finding connection, relief, and understanding–is something many of us can relate to.

We pour out our hearts, hoping that someone will save us or make us feel loved.?

Yet, more often than not, the person we share with isn't able to meet these needs, and it usually leaves both people feeling drained and disconnected.

We may even feel awkward or embarrassed after sharing, craving approval or validation for what we've shared with the other person.?

And when that validation doesn't come, we're left feeling hurt, rejected, and ultimately ‘not enough’ ??

Sharing is essential for building relationships and fostering intimacy. Yet, “emotional vomiting”—where we unload all of our emotions onto someone else, whether they have the capacity to meet us or not—is not the answer.

When we share at the right time and in the right way, we can be fully met. ??

At the heart of oversharing and emotional vomiting is often the unprocessed emotions, trauma, and limiting beliefs that prevent us from connecting with our authentic selves and being deeply received by others.?

When you take time to heal trauma from the body and understand how to meet your own emotional needs, you learn to strike the delicate balance between being with your own experience and sharing it with others in a way that honours both.?

Through?one-on-one Somatic Intelligence Coaching, I help my clients understand the wisdom of their bodies to uncover and heal unprocessed emotions and trauma. As they release, they start to better understand their own needs, reclaim their divine feminine power, and embrace the fullness of who they are.

In SI Coaching, you will be met, received and loved fully, and then learn how to share authentically without losing yourself in the process.??

Apply for a Discovery call?today. Only 5 new coaching spots are available this month.

Let me show you how to come back home to yourself??


?P.S.? A client said to me recently: “It blew me away when I got on a Discovery Call with you, and I just wanted to unburden myself and leave it with you but you wouldn’t just let me talk aimlessly. You did tell me: ‘Let me stop you for a minute. ?I’m here to see if I can help you, to see if we can resolve the very issue causing you turmoil and to heal it. So let me ask you questions and guide you.”??

The client told me she admired me for having clear boundaries and holding them.?

I told her it’s a skill I learned over time, through my own healing work, and I could teach her how to do this, too. I can teach you, too.???

Apply for a Coaching Discovery call with me today and grab one of the 5 available coaching spots for this month.?

With love,

Chen

Dr Maria Kukhareva

Solutions-Focused Coach with an edge | Director, Leadership Innovation | Consultant, Leadership & Culture | I connect the systemic with the individual to create sustainable solutions

9 个月

Chen Lizra I love these insights. So true. I think this is really useful advice in the context of the 'bringing your whole self to work' and 'authentic leadership' movement. How can we be fully ourselves, and feel courageous, powerful and grounded in our authenticity, rather than (too) vulnerable and too dependent on the outcome of the conversation? Boundaries and having that self of sense, as feel as resonance with the room / situation are so important. Thank you ??

Karen R.

Executive Assistant

9 个月

Oversharing can sometimes prevent me from being received by others because it overwhelms or makes them uncomfortable. ??

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