How to Stop Mobile Addiction From Stealing Your Life

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How to stop mobile addiction from stealing your life

Many confess that they are "addicted" to something. For some it's YouTube videos, Facebook/Twitter, for some it's shopping, pornography, and for some it's work.

(The above shows that people are generally unhappy with their screen time beyond certain limits)

I used to be "addicted" to browsing shopping sites and buying way more than I needed. I was also addicted to WeChat and LinkedIn - refreshing frequently to check for notifications and other people's updates. Determined to not let mindless browsing and refreshing eat away my life, I worked with my coach, studied the psychology of addiction and read about the environmental impact of fast fashion.

Today I spend little time shopping except for necessities. I am also working on projects to reduce fashion waste not only for myself but also others. I have no Wechat moments (status updates) and cannot access LinkedIn on my mobile for more than 5 minutes a day.

But these behavior changes cannot sustain if real shifts do not happen underneath. I can again become my old version, to keep browsing new fashion designs or new LinkedIn posts, at any moment.

And what is the real shift needed?

Let's get to the root cause of addiction.

The cause of mobile addiction is not the mobile though we tend to blame the millions of products designed to get us "hooked." (Consult the book "hooked" and you get prescribed advice for product managers and tech start-up owners on how to create an addictive product.) We have created a world full of temptations hard to resist, but it does not mean that we are left without choice.

The definition of addiction talks about how a dysfunctional brain gets reward from certain activities and makes us repeat those acts. We are using the term "addiction" rather loosely here, and most of our symptoms are likely mild in a medical practitioners' eyes. But something is wrong when you give yourself such a label.

There's something you keep doing despite you prefer to be doing something else. In short:

A habit that you can't control - a habit that controls you.

Our brain gets a kick when someone in this world talks about us, or when something new captures our curiosity and imagination.

But these kicks are so mild, short-lived that I have to keep repeating to receive the next dose of pleasure.

Addiction is actually not about these rewards. It's about escape.

Addiction is more about escaping from something else.

Something is making my reality so painful that I'd rather anesthetize myself with a mindless activity.

What are we running away from?

When we busy ourselves with unwanted activities, we often procrastinate another thing at the same time. Or procrastination becomes the result. We see this as the cost of "addiction" but they are often also the cause of "addiction".

Unfortunately, from this point onward, things become interesting (and complicated). Each of us have a different reason for our "addictions" because there are different things we are running away from.

Through my personal experience and research, finding out these reasons and addressing them is the key to freeing ourselves from those unwanted behaviors.

Here are some ways to undertake this work:

1. Keep an "addiction" journal

When the urge to browse social media / watch YouTube videos comes up, write an entry (using your mobile is ok). What just happened before that moment of urge? Or if you can pinpoint, what triggered this need? What self-dialogue were you having with yourself just a moment ago?

You are likely to find emotions such as anxiety, fear, boredom, to name a few. But don't come with any presumptions. Just observe and record your patterns.

2. Rewire your reward system

What assumptions make you see one as reward, another as punishing? For example, workaholics see resting as punishing - taking them away from their work. When they see resting as a necessary part of work to be more efficient and productive, they have an opportunity to rewire their reward system.

For me, colorful fabrics once meant asthetic now means different things: cotton plants that consume lots of water and harmful pesticides, chemical dyes that pollute rivers, and unfair work conditions that still exist in many parts of the world. I no longer feel the thrill seeing them online or offline. I still do love colors and asthetic though - now I get my indulgence in Google Arts and Culture.

3. Think about consequence

Impulse happens when we only see the benefit, say, how watching a YouTube video will help us to get out of work context and "unwind." In that moment, we can make a different choice if we can get in touch with the consequence - what will bother us afterwards - the work delayed, the guilt of misusing time, the emptiness of nothing meaningful had happened.

4. Change your environment

We often have more problem stopping after we have started. It is relatively easier to not get started at all.

For me it's much easier not to buy dessert, than to resist it when it calls me from my fridge.

For the same reason I use an android app called "stay focused" to ban all the websites I do not want to be tempted with, including linkedIn, shopping sites, among others. It's just much easier when I don't have to use my willpower, so I can expense it elsewhere. To set up this conducive environment free of temptations, stick to it, and go back to it after an occasional derail, however, will need willpower all the same.

But it's worthwhile. I have been reading at the speed of 3-5 books a month ever since I got my mobile "addiction" ring-fenced (I won't call it under control because it is a lifelong journey). Imagine you have all the time in the world to read, to learn, to exercise, to feel the sunlight and breeze, to be real.

Here's a quote I want to share with you:

You can never get enough of what you don't need, because what you don't need won't satisfy you. -- Dallin H.Oaks

If you need some help, I'm just one message away. Drop me a PM or?book a free call ?here.

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