How to stop dwelling on past mistakes

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Do you beat yourself up when you make a mistake? Do you spend hours replaying a situation, how it happened and what you could have done differently?

?If we get emotionally triggered and start ruminating, we can get really muddled up in the story. It is energy draining, exhausting and gets messy. This feeling puts enormous stress on our mind and body and can even lead to chronic stress and anxiety.?

During my career as an events professional, I was often confronted to deal with frustrated managers. They were under enormous pressure to get things right. When something didn’t, they needed someone to blame. It kept me awake for hours after already long working days. I took things very personally. It would often take a good cry and a lot of self-care to recover and return to a normal state.

Since retraining as a coach, I learned to spot my triggers. I found a way to cope with the negative thoughts.

Immediate techniques are to calm your mind and act in some form. For longer term control though, you will need to learn about your triggers and patterns.

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Become aware when you start ruminating

Awareness is the first step to help us control our thoughts. When you start paying attention to those situations, you are likely to spot a pattern how it feels. You may feel sick in your stomach, your heart races or you become unconcentrated and restless. Without judgement, notice how it feels and consciously label it as ‘rumination’ (or whatever term works for you).

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Calm your mind

When the thoughts are speeding through our minds it can be paralysing. It is a very unproductive state.

What are your go-to methods to calm your mind? For me, and for many out there, it is exercise or a walk in nature. Some people thrive on meditating, journalling or certain breathing methods. Practice the tool that helps you calm your mind.

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Act

What needs to be done to rectify the situation?

Now that you have a better perspective after calming your mind, think about the next steps. Do you owe an apology? Is there a problem that needs to be solved? Is there someone who can help? Is urgent attention required or is it worth sleeping over it? ?

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I’m Aurelia. I help individuals navigate career change and be more aligned with their values.

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