How to Stop Comparing Ourselves and Start Thriving

Throughout our lives, it seems as though we are constantly comparing ourselves to other individuals and wishing things could either be different or better for ourselves. The thing is that this is what most of us do at one time or another- and some of us do it pretty often! And if I’m being honest, there was a point in my life about a year ago where I noticed a drop in self-confidence and unhappiness due to the constant societal pressure of comparing all aspects of my life, both internal and external. Regardless of how illogical these comparisons may be, our emotional responses to these triggers can be so strong that they overpower our emotional well-being. 

The reality is that this is not a healthy mindset. Speaking from my personal experience, this quarantine I decided to take up a hobby of learning how to shuffle dance. At first, the fear of judgement and failure clouded my brain and made me feel like I would never be able to learn how to shuffle. I ended up self reflecting and realizing that a huge reason why I felt this way was due to the fact that I was comparing myself to other women who were dancing amazing and I thought that I would never be able to be as great as them. But the reality is that it is not a fair comparison. Just because we don’t measure up to someone else at the present moment does not mean we should never pursue our goals or passions. Just because someone else is at a different stage of their life and is thriving does not mean that we can’t get there as well! 

Being able to look at our own strengths and seeing our true value is the key to success, because without this ability, we will always be unmotivated and will never have the confidence to believe in ourselves. 

The key to stopping this negative mentality is self awareness. At first, I did not even realize I was comparing my own weaknesses to someone else’s strengths. I realized that my weaknesses should be opportunities for improvement, not a reason to give up. Therefore, a solution is to be conscious - bring these thoughts to the forefront the next time you have doubts about your potential and if you do realize you are doing these comparisons, do not berate yourself or feel bad! Being able to acknowledge our thoughts is a sign of personal growth. 

I’m glad to say that after 2 months, I finally learned how to shuffle and created a video to inspire everyone to take risks, try something new, and live our best life. Learning this dance has inspired me to share with you all some wisdom I’ve learned: that life is all about the journey. We are all on a path to find something, to become something, to learn something, and to create something. That journey should have NOTHING to do with how well other people are doing or what they have.

Self-love is a work in progress. We should always try to remind ourselves that perfection is progress, and progress only happens when we take that first step to take action & focus on ourselves, our goals, our hobbies, and our vision for the future.

“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.”

– Shannon L. Alder