How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Critic

My inner critic has been on a rampage lately. ??

The trigger this time was deciding to work from Buenos Aires for 2+ months. ?From the outside, it seemed like I had it figured out. ?But inside, I was questioning my choice and struggling with bouts of anxiety, doubts and shame.?

My inner critic rolled out her typical refrains, beliefs about who I am that I have carried with me since childhood.????

? ? ?You’re not disciplined.? You should stay in NYC and focus.?

? ? ?You’ve never been normal or like other people.? Why are you doing this??

? ? ?You are selfish. You shouldn’t tell people you’re doing this.??

You have an inner critic too.?? It is the but.? The should.? The insistent voice that you aren’t good enough.? The natural response would be to suppress, deny and ignore this part of us, but if we understand why it exists, we can take away its power over us.?

Our inner critic believes its job is to keep us safe. ?Whether a move to South America or just a small experiment, any change threatens the status quo and brings uncertainty.? Your inner critic would rather that you continue with what is safe and predictable, even if it isn’t what you want.?

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Reflection + Experiment

Let’s talk about you and the ways you beat yourself up. ? Take a few minutes to reflect on the following:

• How does the voice in your head tell you that you are not enough? ?Be specific about the words you hear?(e.g. I am not good at…You should be better at…). ???

• Choose the one that is getting to you right now. ?Now reframe it into more positive, helpful language. ?For example, when I tell myself “You never finish anything” I reframe it as “I finish the things that are important to me.”??

• Get that phrase on a Post-it note!?

• Imagine how it would feel to be?that?person, the one who believes Post-it note. ?Bring them to work today.?

• At the end of the day, reflect on how you felt different and how others responded to you differently.?