How to stop being afraid and start being confident (even when trying new things)

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I'll start by asking two questions:

The first is, "Are you confident doing things you're good at?" Nearly everyone would say "yes."

The second is, "Are you confident doing things you're not good at?" Only a minority would say "yes."

Doing something you're not good at would imply it's something new. But, why is it important to try new things? And, what does this have to do with your confidence?

Trying new things is strongly associated with happiness. Despite the discomfort it may bring, it's a necessary factor in growth, resilience, and pursuit of success.

The trick, however, is to feel comfortable trying new things, because comfort equals confidence.

Here's the secret.

The difference between someone who feels comfortable trying new things and someone who doesn't is this — only one has broken through their "Confidence Threshold."

Confidence Threshold is a term I coined to describe the barrier between someone's present and their potential — or, where they are now and where they could be.

Forget imposter syndrome — that's nonsense.

If you want to become more successful (and happier), start by discovering your Confidence Threshold. In this issue, we will explore how.

Why are we scared of trying new things?

A 2023 poll showed that, while nearly 60% of people stick within their comfort zone, less than 40% are routinely willing to try new things.

This statistic explains why people:

• Stay in jobs they hate
• Never launch that great business idea they have
• Put up with relationships (work and personal) that drag them down

There are a million reasons why we don't try new things. For many of us, it's simply not comfortable. And when something's not comfortable, we're not confident.

Lack of confidence can be broken down into 2 main categories:

1. Fear of failure
2. Fear of judgment

Fear of failure is an internal confidence factor. I find this one particularly interesting, because it's as if we fear looking like an idiot in front of ourselves. Simply put, we fear we aren't good enough to be successful in something new.

Fear of judgment, on the other hand, is an external confidence factor. This one describes our fear of looking like an idiot in front of other people. Simply put, we fear others will think we're not good enough to be successful in something new.

How do we overcome this fear?

Let's reiterate one simple fact.

COMFORT = CONFIDENCE

When we are comfortable, we are confident (and vice versa). So, to build bulletproof confidence the trick is to get comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Let's follow the assumption that everyone feels comfortable and confident doing things they've done before and excel in. These are the people represented by the blue curve in this graph (below). You can see that success rises quickly, then trails off.

Now let's look at the red curve. This represents people who are confident trying new things, regardless of their natural ability. Success skyrockets.

The yellow dotted line separating these two zones? That's the Confidence Threshold. And, everyone has their own.

For some people, it takes a lot to reach this point where they are willing to try something new. For others, the threshold is lower and they are always seeking new opportunities.

With enough practice and exposure, our barrier to trying new things (i.e., our Confidence Threshold) decreases, making it easier to continue trying new things.

How do we do this successfully, starting today?

Here's the challenge.

It's easy to be intimidated by new things if you are standing at the bottom of the blue curve and see your target as the top of the red curve. That's a huge distance to travel, particularly if you are naturally inclined to stay in your comfort zone.

Instead, set a more attainable goal.

What you should focus on is this yellow dotted line: your Confidence Threshold. Aim to get to that line, and you're halfway there!

This could be as simple as saying "yes" to the next person who asks you to lunch.

Or, "yes" to trying a new business idea, regardless of what any naysayers in your life may say (you don't need them anyway).

Just beyond that yellow line, your opportunities for success in life, business, and the pursuit of happiness expand exponentially.

Focus on reaching your Confidence Threshold, and you realize no skill, network, or opportunity is out of reach.

Until the next issue, stay curious!

P.S. If you're looking to "up" your confidence in your personal or professional life, I can help. DM the word "Confidence" to chat. Let's see if my options are the right fit for your goals.

P.P.S. Liked this issue? Have comments to share? Feel free to send me a DM. I'd love to hear from you.

Hi! I'm Kathryn — the no-nonsense performance coach to help you be "Bold + Brave" in life and business.

I help you build the confidence to speak up for yourself, negotiate better deals, and worry less so you can have the life and business you want.

I specialize in outside-the-box thinking to empower people with the hard and soft skills to excel in their careers, while coaching teams and leaders on how to build more productive and inclusive organizations.

Join me through my posts and this newsletter, "The Curious Entrepreneur," to explore the hard and soft skills necessary to build and run a successful venture (even if your venture is "life").

Welcome, fellow Curious Entrepreneurs!