How to stop accepting the 'gifts' from the narcissist in your life?

NARCISSISTIC ABUSE THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING.

Whomever the narcissist is in your life, they will keep offering you their gifts of love bombing, adulation, apologies, begging, tidbits, occasional compliments, public displays of affection, expensive presents, they need you and can't live without you and praise to ensnare you for as long as you keep going back.

All narcissists are skilled manipulators. They are toxic individuals, with an inflated ego and sense of self importance.

If you've dated a narcissist you'll know how incredibly hard it is to break up with them. If you've been married to one and try to divorce them of your choosing you will likely be in for one hell of a traumatic and acrimonious time. Trying to co-parent children will be impossible.

If you've had friends who are, then you'll be used to meet their ends, sucked dry of your energy and good will and finally ghosted suddenly when you no longer serve their needs.

If you've had a parent who is, you have one of the hardest challenges to overcome. Having been emotionally bused from such a young age the trauma you suffered will most likely be C-PTSD and breaking free from their insidious, damaging and manipulative behaviour isn't easy.

One thing they will all do is proffer you gifts, especially if they sense you pulling away, getting ready to leave, call them out, remove your supply.

These gifts will keep coming.

But know that they are gifts that always come with ulterior motives to keep you dependent upon them because they need you as a supply to their ego and sense of entitlement. They need you so that they can continue to inflate said ego and feed their need to be centre of attention, always right, and the best.

And once the gift has worked to snare you again, the praise, love, adulation, tidbits etc will very quickly disappear and become unkindness, cruelty, fault picking, criticism, meanness, withholding of love, possibly physical, certainly emotional bullying and abuse, lying, blaming, shaming, twisting of words and meaning.

Learn the 'gifts' your narcissist uses and practice rejecting their 'gifts'.

It's important for you to break the cycle, get free from them by putting space in between yourself and them, go grey rock on them (in other words become really boring and uninteresting so they leave you alone), deny them air time, call them out, do inner healing and recovery work on yourself.

It can be hard to do alone, so never be afraid to ask for help. I tried for many years to do this myself and wish I'd found help and support sooner. I wish I'd confided in friends sooner. I didn't think people would believe me. But they did.

And they will for you. They've probably already seen it as an outsider looking in and will be so pleased you're finally seeing it for yourself.

Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, this group, therapist, coach, support group.

And if you want individualised expert support and to work exclusively with me on your own healing and recovery journey please message me privately or book a call via the calendly link on my website and we can jump on a call to see how I can help you.

If you want a safe and supportive community, where you can ask those difficult questions out of view of others, get lots of brilliant advice, watch some informative and helpful masterclasses that are sitting there waiting for you then you must join The Limitless Club - where your recovery from narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships begins. Your safe harbour. Join at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thelimitlessclub

Remember - You do not have to accept anyone's gift, you are completely within your rights to refuse to accept the gift.