How to Stay Courageous in the Scary Moments

There are times when we are called forth to be a bigger, bolder, better version of ourselves. To do so, we need courage. When we can access our courage, it allows us to take a stand and gives us a better chance to seize the opportunity to do more Great Work.

Hit the play button below to hear my thoughts on how you can be more courageous.

Bookmark the podcast here to listen later! Don’t forget to rate this podcast on iTunes.

Full Transcript

Can you remember that time when you were courageous, when that thing happened and you could feel the anxiety and the fear and that part of you saying, “Step back. Shrink back,” but somehow, for some reason, instead of backing away, you decided to step forward and actually move into the spotlight, put yourself between the danger or into the danger? And somehow, it was an important moment for you.

I mean, I can think of times in my life, some of them are—they feel inconsequential now. I mean, I remember doing a magic trick once, and it’s too hard to explain the magic trick but suffice to say, something was in a cup that it should have been jellified and it wasn’t jellified. And I could feel that anxiety. It was like, “I need to back away from this. I need to not do this.” And what I did instead is I followed through on the trick, which was to turn the cup up and hope that the jelly would stay in one place. It did not. It came down. It cascaded on the table in front of me and it covered me in slime. But … There’s almost a joke experience but at the same time I remember that moment beforehand where I was, like, “Okay. I’m at a crossroads. Do I go this way or do I go that way?

And I’m sure you’ve got an experience like that yourself. And there’s something about, in that moment of courage, we are called forth to be the bigger, bolder, better version of ourselves. And I think in an act of becoming and accessing our courage, it gives us a better chance to access the opportunity to do more great work, which you know is important to me.

So let me tell you my thoughts on how you can be more courageous. And I think I’ve got three things that might be useful for you here. The first is as you see an opportunity, when you’re at that crossroads, weigh up the risks. Weigh up the risks and weigh up the rewards. My friend Mark says, “Every choice has prizes and punishments.” And where we tend to go of course is to the risks, the punishments if you like, and I think we sometimes overplay those; we overemphasize those and we diminish the risk. So as best you can, step up, weigh up the choices, and perhaps give the reward its fair weighting, and make sure that when you look at the punishments, you don’t overemphasize it.

But be clear that there are some moments of being courageous that are perhaps too much. For instance, I’m not going to get onto a motorcycle. I know what the reward of a motorcycle is: that sense of speed, the wind in your hair, that sense of freedom, that sense of rebellion. But, you know, my mom was a nurse so I know what the dangers of a motorcycle are, which is a horrific injury, death, etc. etc. And for me, there, the balance does not work. So that’s the first step, and sorry, I got a bit gruesome there but weighing up and getting clear about what the risk and the rewards are.

The second thing is when you make your choice, when you make your choice to be courageous and you step forward, make it cleanly, be bold, and go big. So if you made the choice, don’t then go, “I’m going to be halfhearted about it.” Step forward and claim the space fully.

Now, I don’t know what that looks like. Depends on what the choice is, but if you’re going to do a magic trick and it’s got orange slime in it, don’t half tip it open, tip it all the way over. If you’re going to dive off a 10-meter swimming pool, there’s Olympic Pan Am Games happening here in Toronto at the moment so I’m thinking about diving, if you’re going to dive off a 10-meter swimming pool, don’t kind of halfheartedly fall off it. Jump off that diving board and do it fully. So this is the second thing: If you’ve made your choice to be courageous, be bold about it. Go big with that choice.

And the third thing to do here, perhaps, is to redefine success. What we hope when we’re being courageous, when we take that bold choice, is that it’s all going to work for us. That somehow the universe aligns and we get what we hope for. But the truth is sometimes, perhaps often, when we be courageous, when we make that bold choice and we take that leap, it doesn’t always work. It sometimes ends in failure. So, let’s redefine what success looks like here, because often success is the, “I’m going to have a go at something that matters to me. I’m going to take the opportunity to try it out, to learn, to have my first go at it. So maybe I need to fail the first time so that the second time is more successful.” So even as you step out to do this, be clear about what success really looks like, and be gentle with yourself. It may not be the perfect ending that you’re hoping for but it may still be a successful encounter however it plays out.

You know, when we talk about doing great work we say there are these three core attributes. There’s focus, there’s courage and there’s resilience. Focus is important. It’s about knowing who you are and knowing where to turn your attention. Resilience is important. It’s about that willingness to keep going when things going tough. But courage, courage is that moment where you’re at that crossroads and part of you is going, “Step back. Play it safe. Take the safe route.” And the courageous part of you is when you go, “You know what? I’m going to take the path less trodden and that will make all the difference.”

IF YOU ENJOYED THIS POST, YOU'LL ALSO LIKE:

1. How to Best Manage Your Fear and Anxiety 
2. Eric Klein, 50 Ways to Leave Your Karma 
3. Inspired Change: Activating Your Team’s Potential 
4. Amy Cuddy on Power, Presence & Your Boldest Self 

___________________________________________________

ABOUT MICHAEL BUNGAY STANIER & BOX OF CRAYONS

Michael Bungay Stanier is the Senior Partner and Founder of Box of Crayons, a company that helps people and organizations do less Good Work and more Great Work. They're best known from their coaching programs that give busy managers the tools to coach in 10 minutes or less.

Download free chapters of Michael's latest book The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever here.

Already read it? Fantastic! If you felt so moved, an Amazon rating/review is always greatly appreciated.