How to Stay Cool When Challenged

Working in our interconnected world to promote sustainability is gratifying, but like any profession, has its unpleasant situations.

So, what happens when you normally communicate well, but find yourself being challenged?

This recently happened to a client of mine.

In her line of work, she has to be very diligent and detail-oriented, making sure that all of the boxes are checked when vendors want to ship something to her company.

And since she is reliable and knowledgeable about a great many things, people tend to give her some very difficult tasks and people to deal with.

Well, she received a phone call from an angry person who did not let her speak during a 2-minute rant. Even worse was that my client had nothing to do with the cause of the rant, nor was it actually her job to deal with such problems.

She could feel herself trembling in anger as she calmly tried to interrupt.

And when she finally was able to cut in, she noticed the tone of her voice rising into the “clearly upset” range.

While this was a frustrating experience that tested her patience, it ended up working out well in the end.

Why did it work out well?

?? Is it because she used a less defensive and more collaborative tone of voice?

?? Is it because her pronunciation was clear?

?? Is it because she expertly used the passive voice to avoid blaming?

?? Is it because she stayed on-topic?

Well, yes, all of that certainly helped.

What made the most difference for her, however, was something else entirely.

You see, before she hired me as a coach, she admitted that she would've stayed angry and gotten flustered. She would have become hyper focused on how she was stumbling over her words and that her mind was going blank.

She also noted that she would have hung up to avoid being berated any further, possibly following up by email. And that she would have lost sleep that night over the incident, replaying what she could have done differently. Sound familiar?

Thankfully, she broke that cycle.

And what made the difference for her was noticing.

She noticed that she was sounding angry and taking shallow breaths.

This was the moment that she broke the cycle and consciously returned to one of our early mindset teachings in the coaching course: BREATHING.

?? She took a belly breath to calm herself.

?? She put herself into the caller’s shoes so that she could connect rather than react.

?? She recalled the point she needed to make to the caller.

?? She steered the conversation towards a solution using the techniques she learned in the course to stay on topic.

In the end, she was able to point the caller towards the best next step. They ended up politely and sincerely thanking each other.

And instead of being plagued by what she should have said or could have done differently, she drifted off to sleep without trouble that night.

The Secret to Success

What she credits as the major point of success for her is the mindset training she has done with my guidance.

At first, she was skeptical about the mindset work when I told her about the course contents, but now she says that 95% of what was holding her back from communicating effectively and confidently was her self-sabotaging mindset.

I completely agree with her because I have seen it with so many of my previous clients. Especially the high-achievers.

Mindset–your attitudes and beliefs–influences how you behave, how you speak, and how you interact with other people. When you harbor limiting beliefs, you limit yourself. And it takes support and practice to break yourself free from them.

A helpful mindset when speaking another language allows you to do many things. In my client’s case, her new mindset--after less than two months of working together--allowed her to focus on her connection with the caller instead of stressing over her words and how she was saying them.

Most importantly, it empowered her. She put herself in the driver's seat of the conversation so that she could steer its direction and play a bigger role in determining the outcome.

So, if you are looking to speak more effectively and more confidently, choose someone who will help you identify not only the technical aspects you can improve, but also the mindset shifts you need in order to push yourself to the next level as an excellent communicator.

And if you are interested in learning more about this approach, sign up to receive my emails directly to your inbox, AND get a free video as a thank you.