How to Stay in Control When You’re Losing It & How to Get Creative About Your Situation

Last week someone in my closer circle reached out to me and said:

“Since I’ve been building my own thing I didn‘t feel supported. I helped my husband with this promotion few years ago. But when it was my turn, I didn't get that energy back.“

This is a story I know very well because I lived it.

I started my business excited about bringing value to the world.

While my logical mind was ready for this adventure, my deeper programming was focused on keeping me "safe" - which meant staying in my comfort zone.

When anxiety surfaced, I tried to think my way through it.

One day, a friend pointed out:

"But you have a support system. You're married."

That's when I turned to my husband.

He's a caring person. But my subconscious was running old patterns - expecting support without communicating my needs, based on deeply ingrained triggers.

We had been operating under an unspoken agreement throughout our relationship - he would build his businesses, then we'd start our family.

This worked because I maintained our safety net through my corporate job and steady income.

Now, for the first time, that pattern was disrupted. The safety net was gone.

My body reacted as if facing real danger.

These weren't just thoughts - they were deeply wired patterns seeking safety in familiar territory.

I kept everything in my head, thinking I was communicating when I wasn't. The more these old triggers surfaced, the deeper I fell into a spiral of feeling unsupported and alone.

I realized I couldn't think my way out of these patterns - they needed to be rewired at a deeper level.

It took me months to finally bring back the love and empathy in the way I was looking at things. And a one month family holiday in a beautiful location helped :)

There is still work to be done. But that’s the nature of relationships, to be a constant dance. The best is when the dance is more of love and empathy and less of power.

When we make a big pivot, it will affect all the people around us.

EXPECT RESISTANCE.

And be prepared to work through your patterns with compassion rather than judgment.

They might not want to change at all.

But what if we’re thinking about control the wrong way?

The real paradox?

Sometimes the best way to stay in control… is to let go of it.

?? What if you had TOTAL control over your life? Every outcome exactly as you wanted. Would that be fulfilling? Or would you eventually feel trapped?

?I dive deep into this paradox—plus a creative mindset shift that helped me break free in my full newsletter.

??Read the full piece here.

P.S. If this resonates, I’ve opened 3 spots in my coaching practice for those at a crossroads, navigating transitions, or seeking clarity in their next step. DM me if you want to chat.