How to Stay Connected and Inspired in America

Some of us recently witnessed (or participated in) the largest public demonstration our country has ever seen.

The Women’s March on Washington on Saturday, January 21, 2017 was a historic day, seeing 2.5 million people around the world take to the streets to support causes such as women’s reproductive rights, climate change and criminal justice reform.

Now that everyone has returned home, hung their pussy hats in the hallway, and attempted to return to some sense of normal family/work/life balance, the question has been asked, “What next?”

And for those who were on the losing side of the recent presidential election, a more pressing question, “How did we get here?” — a time in our history when a highly-narcissistic television star and his white nationalist advisor now sit in the White House issuing executive orders that some have called “separatist,” “xenophobic” and even “unconstitutional.” A time when even scientists, librarians and journalists have taken to marching in the streets in the name of “truth.”

According to most sociologists and psychologists (including Lawrence Kohlberg, Jean Piaget, Erik Erickson, James Fowler, Jean Gebser) we all move through a series of developmental stages that carry us from egocentrism (a concern for our own self and survival), to ethnocentrism (a concern for our own family, tribe, team or nationality) to worldcentrism (a concern for all living beings).

According to philosopher Ken Wilber, 60% of the world is at an ethnocentric stage or lower. This means that they have not yet developed modern, postmodern and systemic ways of thinking and seeing the world.

Those at the worldcentric stage (if their concern really is for all beings) must claim some responsibility for the people whose values and beliefs vary so dramatically from their own. The more we distance ourselves from our neighbor, and the more we steer clear of the places they gather, the more we estrange ourselves. The more we unfriend people who disagree with us, or our point of view, on social media the more we create gaps, bubbles, echo chambers and blind spots where we would otherwise have the opportunity to connect, lean in, or engage our neighbor in meaningful and transformative dialogue.

Obviously, there are exceptions. No one should suffer needlessly where bullying, psychological abuse and physical harm are concerned, but turning away from people because they hold a different worldview is something we need less of.

We are all holding pieces of the map, and unless we begin to work together, we will never escape the labyrinth of separation, prejudice and fear.

Those at ethnocentric (“mythic” and “conformist”) stages of development may eventually begin to experience some discomfort with the loyalty to the self-imposed rules and laws of their worldview. They may begin to question their religious doctrine, or cultural assumptions or scientific dogma and seek out other perspectives.

They may only half-heartedly agree with the politics of their neighbor or with the actions or policies put in place by the government. They may be complacent with the institutional and cultural racism they find rampant in this country, but intuitively at odds with the personal or subtle racism they see online or in public. They may disagree with putting another person’s religion to a test out of loyalty to the language found in our Constitution. Those people, when in doubt, will turn inward to their own values, their own religious beliefs, or to a community of their peers for social reinforcement.

If we have disconnected from them, they will be seeking a bridge where there is none. We will be island communities unable to communicate with or even orient ourselves to the population and culture of our own neighbors. We will have abandoned them in the name of “community-building” or unfriended them in the name of self-preservation.

Our primary objective, the tallest order, should be to meet these “fundamentalists” where they are, or go to where they meet. We should provide opportunities for connection and dialogue on a daily basis. And we should stop excluding them from our own events, social programs and marketing messages. We need to be able to disagree with their worldview while still being able to integrate it into the larger whole.

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