How to Stay Calm When You Get Angry

When anger strikes, do you ever felt like a volcano about to erupt?

Your blood boils, your heart races, your body sweats, and you’re ready to explode. Anger can be a powerful and scary feeling.

But what if you had a secret weapon to tame that angry beast inside you? Good news! You can create one, and it’s called your Personal Emergency Anger Plan.

This plan is a trusty emergency tool kit filled with quick and easy ways to cool down when you’re steaming mad. It’s all about giving you the power to take control of your anger before it controls you.

Your Personal Emergency Anger Plan has two main parts:

1. Mindful Strategies: These are quiet tricks you can do in your head.
2. Active Strategies: These involve moving your body or changing what you’re doing.

Become a Body Sensory Detective

Let’s add an exciting new skill to your Personal Emergency Anger Plan. You’ll become a body sensory detective!

This means learning to spot the sneaky signs of anger in your body before your emotions get too big to handle. Catch these clues early. Then, your plan will work better.

Your body is like an early warning system for anger. It starts sending out signals before your brain even realizes you’re getting mad. By tuning in to these body clues, you can catch anger right when it starts and stop it in its tracks!

Get to know your anger signals: Everyone’s body reacts a bit differently when anger shows up.

Some common signs are:

• Heart beating faster
• Butterflies or tight feeling in your stomach
• Neck and shoulder muscles getting tense
• Face feeling hot
• Hands balling into fists
• Breathing getting quicker and shallower
• Jaw clenching

Do a body scan: When you think you might be getting angry, take a moment to check in with your body. Start at your toes and work your way up to the top of your head. Notice any places that feel different or tense.

Use your finger as a magic wand: As you do your body scan, use your finger to gently touch each part of your body. This helps you focus and really tune in to how you’re feeling. When you find a spot that feels tense or different, give it an extra gentle tap.

Make a body map: Draw a simple outline of a person on a piece of paper. Each time you notice anger in your body, color in the areas where you feel it. Over time, you’ll create your very own anger body map!

Practice when you’re calm: Don’t wait for anger to strike to try this out. Practice your body scan when you’re feeling good. This makes it easier to spot the differences when anger does show up.

Keep an anger journal: After you get angry, write down or draw pictures of where you felt it in your body. Look for patterns — do you always get a pain between your shoulder blades when you’re mad? Studies show that the sooner you journal about your angry experience, the more it will help you.

Use your detective skills: Once you know your body’s anger signals, be on the lookout for them. When you spot one, it’s time to use your Personal Emergency Anger Plan right away!

Remember, the sooner you catch those first tiny sparks of anger, the easier they are to put out. It’s like putting out a fire — a small fire is much easier to extinguish than a large fire!

Let’s practice right now

Close your eyes and imagine a time when you felt a little annoyed. Maybe someone cut in front of you in line or took the last cookie.

Now, use your finger to touch the parts of your body where you feel that annoyance. Is your jaw tight? Does your tummy feel funny? Are your shoulders up near your ears?

Great job, detective! You’re already getting better at spotting those tricky anger clues.

You’re now attuned to your body senses with your Personal Emergency Anger Plan. You’re becoming a true anger-busting champion. You’ll be able to catch anger early and calm it down fast. That’s a superpower that will benefit you forever!

So keep practicing, body sensory detective. The more you use these skills, the better you’ll get at keeping cool and calm, no matter what life throws your way.

Mindful Strategies: Calming Your Mind

When anger strikes, your brain can feel like it’s on fire. These examples of mindful strategies are like a cool breeze for your mind:

1. Intentional Breathing: Take a big breath in through your nose. Hold it for a few seconds. Then, slowly blow it out through your mouth. Imagine you’re blowing out a candle. Do this five times and feel the calm wash over you.

2. Positive Self-Talk: Be your own cheerleader! Tell yourself things like, “I can handle this,” or “This feeling will pass.” Your brain believes what you tell it, so feed it good thoughts!

3. Calming Imagery: Close your eyes and picture a peaceful place. Maybe it’s a quiet beach or a green forest. Use all your senses — what do you see, hear, smell, and feel in this happy place?

4. Counting: Start at 100 and count backward by 7. This tricky math problem forces your brain to focus on numbers instead of anger.

5. Grounding: Helps you calm down. Name five things you can see. Then, name four things you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. This pulls you out of angry thoughts and into the present moment.

There may be some other mindful strategies that will work for you.

Active Strategies: Moving Your Body to Move Your Mood

Sometimes, you need to get your body involved to shake off that angry energy:

1. Hum a Tune: Pick a favorite song and hum it out loud. This calms your breathing and distracts your mind.

2. Drink Cold Water: Sip some ice-cold water slowly. Feel it cool you down from the inside out.

3. Snap and Tap: Snap your fingers five times, then tap your leg five times. This odd movement breaks the anger cycle.

4. Squeeze and Release: Make fists with your hands. Squeeze them tight for five seconds, then let go. Do this a few times to let go of tension.

5. Change Your Scene: If you can, step outside or move to a different room. A change of view can change your mood.

There may be some other active strategies that will work for you.

Creating Your Personal Emergency Anger Plan

Now it’s time to make your plan!

Take out some paper and something to write with. Writing down your strategies helps you store them differently in your brain. So, they’re easier to recall in the heat of an angry moment.

1. Pick your top three mindful strategies and top three active strategies. Make them realistic to the situation and your intensity of anger.
2. Write them down (or save them on your phone).
3. Practice these when you’re calm, so they’re easy to use when you’re mad.
4. The next time anger bubbles up — and you feel it in your body — try your strategies right away.

Remember, your Personal Emergency Anger Plan is like a fire extinguisher. It works best when you use it early, before the anger fire gets too big!

This is so simple, even a child can do it

Alex is a 12-year-old who often got in trouble for angry outbursts at school.

One day, Alex was working on a group project. His teammate, Jamie, wasn’t doing his fair share of the work. Alex felt his anger rising. His face got hot, his hands balled into fists, and he wanted to yell at Jamie.

But then Alex remembered his Personal Emergency Anger Plan. He paused and started his favorite strategies:

1. He did five deep breaths, imagining blowing out candles.
2. In his head, he said, “I can handle this calmly. Getting mad won’t help.”
3. He took a big sip of cold water from his water bottle.
4. He snapped his fingers five times, then tapped his thigh five times.

As Alex did these things, he felt his anger start to melt away. His mind cleared, and he was able to think of a better way to handle the situation.

Instead of yelling, Alex calmly asked Jamie if everything was okay. They asked if Jamie needed help with their part of the project.

It turned out Jamie was struggling with the assignment but was too embarrassed to say so. By staying calm, Alex was able to help Jamie, and they finished the project together. Alex’s teacher even praised him for staying calm and being such a good team player!

That night, Alex told his parents how proud he was of himself for using his anger plan. He felt strong and in control, knowing he had the power to calm his own anger.

Your Anger-Busting Superpower

Anger is a normal feeling, but it doesn’t have to control you. It’s a signal that you need something.

With your Personal Emergency Anger Plan, you have a superpower to stay calm even when you feel really mad. It might take practice. But, each time you use your plan, you get better at handling your emotions.

Remember, your plan works best when you use it as soon as you feel anger starting. Don’t wait until you’re about to explode! The earlier you catch those angry feelings, the easier they are to calm down.

You might not get it perfect every time, and that’s okay. Learning to manage anger is a skill, just like learning to ride a bike or play an instrument. The more you practice, the better you’ll get.

Your Personal Emergency Anger Plan is about giving you choices and standing in your power. When anger hits, you don’t have to react without thinking. You have tools to help you stay calm and make smart choices. This isn’t just good for you — it’s good for everyone around you too!

So the next time you feel that angry volcano rumbling inside, take a deep breath and remember — you’ve got this!

Your Personal Emergency Anger Plan is ready to help you stay cool, calm, and in control. You have the power to tame your anger and be the awesome, kind person you really are.

Now, start creating your own Personal Emergency Anger Plan. Pick your favorite strategies. Practice them. Get ready to become an anger-busting superhero! Your future calm and happy self will thank you.

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