How to Start a Speech When They Don't Know You

When preparing to open a presentation, standard advice is often to start with a story or hook to capture attention. While this is solid advice, the approach may need some fine-tuning depending on the audience type. There are three general types of audiences you need to know about and this short article I'm talking about how to open a presentation when you're in front of the third one.

Know Your Audience Types

Audiences generally fall into three categories:

1. All in the Family: This is an audience where both you and the attendees know each other, like within your own company or community.
2. The Horde of Strangers: These audiences don’t know you, nor do they know each other, like at conferences.
3. The Outsider: The focus of this article is the third type—a close-knit group that doesn’t know you personally. Think of a company with established relationships or a team that’s worked together for years. Here, you’re the outsider stepping into a familiar circle.

How to Open a Speech as an Outsider. - Why Affinity Matters

*If you want to see a video version of this article go here: If you would like to see a video version of this go to: https://jamesrobbins.co/captivate-affinity/

In audience #3, the audience will naturally assess you as the new person. Building trust quickly is essential, and an effective way to achieve that is by creating a sense of affinity. This doesn’t mean changing your entire message; it simply means finding a point of connection, a shared experience, or an insight that helps the audience feel that you “get” them or understand something about their world.

How to Find Affinity Points

Creating affinity involves finding moments in your own life that overlap with your audience's experiences. Here are some examples from presentations I've given as The Outsider:

1. Law Firm Retreat:

For a presentation to a group of attorneys, rather than launching straight into a generic story, I shared a personal story about growing up in a family of lawyers. I mentioned my father’s legal career and added humor about not following in those footsteps. This brief anecdote connected me to the legal field, making the audience feel that I at least understood their world a little.

2. Small-Town Manufacturing Plant:

When speaking to a manufacturing team in a rural area, I shared my own experience of growing up in a small town and on a cattle ranch, and also my first job working at a meat packing plant in our town. This instantly resonated with the rural audience, establishing common ground and showing that I could relate to their experiences.

3. Rural Hospital Event:

For a rural hospital audience, I recounted a childhood story of an accident that almost cost me my life, when I accidentely set myself on fire. I explained how a small local hospital had stabilized me before I was transferred to a larger facility. Sharing this personal experience highlighted my appreciation for small hospitals, creating an emotional connection and demonstrating my understanding of their importance.

4. Postal Service Leaders Meeting:

In front of Postal Service executives, despite having no direct experience with the postal industry, I opened with a childhood memory of eagerly awaiting a Christmas gift for my mom by mail. The simplicity of the story—waiting anxiously for mail to arrive on time—resonated with the audience, as it reflected the importance of timely deliveries and the role of the postal service.

5. Mining Industry Gathering:

When speaking to mining leaders, I found affinity by sharing my past experience working with their CEO at a previous event. This personal connection helped me establish credibility and familiarity with the group, especially as I could recount moments shared with their leader.

Practical Tips for Creating Affinity

Here are actionable steps to find affinity points with your audience:

1. Identify Overlapping Experiences: Reflect on your life experiences. Do you have a story or experience that resonates with your audience’s industry or background, even if indirectly?
2. Leverage Relationships with Key People: Mention shared connections if they’re relevant. Knowing someone respected by the audience can help you establish credibility.
3. Show Genuine Understanding: Even if the connection is small, sharing a relatable story shows that you’ve considered who they are and where they come from.
4. Use Humor Appropriately: Light humor related to your story can make you more approachable. It doesn’t need to be a comedy act but can ease the tension and make you more relatable.

The Power of Building Trust Early

When speaking to a group that knows each other well, establishing a connection early can make the difference between a disengaged audience and an attentive one. Rather than just launching into a compelling story, first find a way to become “one of the gang,” even in a small way. This minor shift in approach can enhance your rapport with the audience and build trust.

The next time you find yourself speaking to a group that knows each other but not you, take a moment to consider what you have in common. Even the smallest shared experience can bridge the gap, making it easier for them to connect with you and, ultimately, with your message. When people trust you, they’re far more likely to listen, engage, and embrace your insights.

If you would like to see a video version of this go to: https://jamesrobbins.co/captivate-affinity/