How to Start Coaching Yourself Today

How good are you at coaching yourself?

This is a skill I’ve intentionally developed over the years and I want to give you three quick ways to start activating your inner coach.

Yes, hiring a coach is great. As a coach myself, I obviously am a fan! I’m currently in an array of group and individual coaching programs myself this year. However, with or without a concentrated coaching program, you can still learn to coach yourself on any given day or moment. 

Here’s how to start:

1. One of my favorite questions is: “What do I want?” This is my #1 recommended tool for self-coaching. When you are in a situation at work, when a new opportunity or relationship arises, when someone asks you for help, when you’re confused or stuck, ask yourself, “what do I want?”

The real work is in the pause. The moment you find yourself stopping to reflect before jumping to conclusions, picking up the phone, writing that email or heading over to Google…pause, and think about what YOU want.

2. Keep asking, go deeper. Whether you’re asking yourself what you want or someone else asks you a question about yourself, take some time to dig a little deeper. Why is your initial answer the answer? What if you asked yourself the same question again? This is a great time to use The Five Whys.

Ex. (1) Why am I stressed? (2) Because my calendar is full. Why? (3) Because I’m not delegating meetings or tasks. Why? (4) Because I feel like no one is equipped to make good decisions. Why? (5) Because I have a hard time trusting others.

Going deeper helps you get to the root of issues maybe you didn't even realize you had!

3. Practice noticing and recognizing your boundaries. Signs your boundaries are being violated can often show up as anger, sickness, feeling scattered, tiredness and overwhelm.

Think about what boundaries were crossed in order for you to get to those feelings. Where can you set better boundaries for yourself and others? 

BONUS: Out of these three tips, what insight did you gain yourself from reading these? What’s something you can do RIGHT NOW to implement one of these self-coaching tips?

Have fun :-)

About Alisa

Alisa Manjarrez is Vision Producer and Founder of The Happy Cactus, where powerful women gain clarity to cast a vision, create a strategy, and make it happen. Alisa produces and hosts Color Forward, a podcast dedicated to advancing multicultural women in the workplace, and she also hosts Seriously Though, a podcast for modern professionals looking to create the life of their dreams and the wealth to go with it.