How to Stand Out When He’s Spoiled for Choice

Ladies, let’s get real for a moment. You’ve made the move to a bustling city, where the skyline is impressive, the career opportunities are endless—and the dating scene? Well, it comes with a twist. In some of the nation’s most exciting cities, there’s a little secret we don’t talk about often enough: there are more women than men.

Yes, you heard that right. In urban hubs like New York City and Washington, D.C., the gender ratio skews in favor of men. In New York, for example, there are 89 men for every 100 women, and Washington, D.C., fares slightly worse with 86 men per 100 women. Suddenly, it feels like the city’s skyline isn’t the only thing that’s a bit unbalanced.

So, how do you navigate a dating pool where the odds aren’t exactly stacked in your favor? Here’s a guide to help you stand out (without losing your cool) and meet the great men out there—even if they have many options.

1.????? Don’t Play the Numbers Game—Play YOUR Game

Here’s the deal: while it might feel like you're up against every other fabulous woman in the city, dating isn't about out-competing someone else. It’s about showcasing the best version of you. The key to standing out isn’t becoming someone you’re not; it’s doubling down on who you truly are.

Instead of stressing over how many women there are, focus on what makes you unique. Whether it’s your professional expertise, your quirky sense of humor, or your love for off-the-beaten-path coffee spots, those are the things that will genuinely connect you with the right person. The takeaway? Confidence in your individuality is the real winning strategy.

2.????? Embrace the Reality—He Has Options, and So Do You

Let’s acknowledge the obvious: in cities where men are outnumbered, they might be enjoying a bit of a buyer’s market. But here’s a mindset shift for you: you’ve got options too! Just because there are more women doesn’t mean you have to settle. If anything, it gives you the freedom to be selective.

Instead of feeling like you’re constantly competing, remind yourself that dating is a two-way street. Yes, he might be swiping through a few profiles, but so are you. Approach dating with an open mind, and be selective about the men who align with your values and interests. Remember, it’s about quality, not quantity.

3.????? Own Your Uniqueness—It’s Your Secret Weapon

In a sea of high-achieving, city-savvy women, you might wonder, "How do I stand out?" The answer: by owning what makes you, well, YOU. Standing out isn’t about being louder or flashier; it’s about authenticity.

Maybe you’re the woman who can recite Shakespeare by heart or the one who knows all the best-hidden brunch spots. Or perhaps you’re passionate about your work in tech, finance, or social impact. Lean into your quirks and passions—they’re what make you memorable. Men (the good ones, anyway) will be drawn to your authenticity, not how closely you fit a mold.

4.????? Stay Confident—Don’t Let the Odds Discourage You

At some point, dating in these cities might feel like being on a never-ending treadmill. You meet great guys who seem perfect… until they ghost or swipe left for someone else. It’s easy to start feeling like the odds are stacked against you. But here’s the thing: you’re still in control.

Just because the dating scene is competitive doesn’t mean it has to be discouraging. The right person will see beyond the crowded landscape. It’s not about the quantity of dates but the quality of connections you build. If you’re meeting people who aren’t quite “it,” don’t take it personally—sometimes it’s just a matter of timing or chemistry. Keep your confidence high, your standards higher, and your patience intact.

5.????? Make the First Move—It’s Time to Flip the Script

You might think with so many options, men in these cities would be all over initiating conversations. Not always. Sometimes, the best way to stand out is by making the first move. Whether it’s a clever D.M. on LinkedIn after a networking event or striking up a conversation at that trendy new coffee shop, taking the initiative shows confidence and gives you control over the narrative.

Here’s a little secret: most men find it refreshing when women make the first move. It’s a change of pace, and confidence is attractive in any scenario. Plus, it positions you as someone who knows what they want—both in business and life.

The Bottom Line: Stay Positive and Keep It Fun

Dating—like networking, career building, or anything else in life—is as much about the journey as it is the destination. Sure, the stats might not always be in your favor, but you are not defined by statistics. Keep things light, stay engaged, and remember that the right person will recognize and appreciate what you bring to the table.

If the numbers start getting you down, remind yourself: you’re not just another woman in the crowd—you’re a one-of-a-kind, powerhouse individual. And when the right guy comes along, he’ll see that too. Until then, enjoy the journey, keep meeting new people, and let the city’s energy carry you to where you’re meant to be.