How to Spot an Effective Mentor

Effective mentors play critical roles throughout your career. My biggest career game changer that I discussed in my previous blog (Career Game Changer) attracted the best mentor I’ve had in my career. The best mentors guide, support and help you through difficult career obstacles, they assist in bringing out your potential through developing your skillsets that will improve and grow your ability. 

The purpose of this article is to assist you in spotting a good candidate to be an effective mentor. You must remember that some of the most effective mentoring relationships form organically and don’t necessarily have the ‘official’ label of mentor/mentee. These powerful relationships take time to build; as trust is built through consistent action and time. I have been assigned official mentors throughout my entire career, these can form into strong and meaningful relationships but not all of them do. When you start out in your career, you will need mentorship; you will need guidance and help throughout your career. An official or unofficial mentor can assist with this. I’ve had numerous mentors in my first decade of my career and they played critical roles in my growth.

Don’t be rigid in how you perceive a mentor, remain flexible; for example, don’t discriminate a mentor by their age. A mentor can be any age; my first few mentors of my career were peers. They helped me maneuver the first few steps of my career and showed me the ropes of the Corporate world; this led me to develop my first realistic career goals. Effective mentors don’t need to be people with a tone of experience, or an impressive title. This article serves as an assessment checklist of the qualities and traits you should be looking for, when choosing or accepting mentorship.

Look for Critical Hard Skills:

• Do they appear knowledgeable and wise – yes, they have lots of information, but are they wise? Are they a high performer?
• Do they have ability and skillsets – yes, but are they willing to teach their skillsets and knowledge with you? Does their career path match what you want?
• Do they have credibility – yes, but are they willing to share and give you the time to assist in building your credibility?

What to avoid:

Avoid selfish people. You want a mentor who you can learn from, so you can gain skills, ability and experience, therefore, the mentor must be willing to teach and share. If they only teach and share the HOW, and don’t share the WHY; you are only getting half the story and an inaccurate knowledge base. You must learn WHY things are done a certain way before you learn HOW they are done. Find mentors that are willing to teach and share their knowledge and experience with you; at times, this will require them to be patient.

Look for Critical Soft Skills:

• Strong communicator – Are they transparent? Strong communicators are clear with their opinion and in their instructions. They are willing to give you critical feedback to help you improve. Strong communicators will tell you what you NEED to hear, not just what you WANT to hear. Effective mentors don’t feed your EGO.
• Teamwork – Do they get along with others? Do they alienate people? Are they likeable? A great mentor allows you access to their network. They help you expand and develop your ability and recognize they are not the only one that can provide the help you need. They introduce you to critical people that can assist in your development. 
• Adaptability / Flexibility – Are they open-minded? Are they capable of learning new things? Do they believe in reverse mentoring? The best mentorships are a give and take, where both parties gain from the relationship. 
• Work Ethic – Do they work hard but also, work smart? How is their time management? Do they make the best of their time? Are they productive? From my experience, time management is a learned skill. Some people are naturally better at it, but all of us, can always improve. Learning how to work more effectively is a wise skill to develop early in your career as you can reap many benefits from this. An effective mentor can help develop these skills.
• Critical Thinking – Are they the solution to difficult problems? Can they solve difficult problems? Are they normally the solution or the problem? You want a mentor who knows how to solve difficult problems. What steps and approaches have they learned to solve difficult problems? By having a mentor who can knock out obstacles that present themselves, will assist you in developing critical cogitative ability. If you become a person who delivers consist high quality results from solving difficult problems, you will always be in demand. Solution providers are rare. 

What to avoid:

Avoid passive aggressive people, they are often the worst type of communicators. They tread around an issue and have a difficult time being transparent and clear. Many of them try to avoid confrontation, as they don’t want to stir up any trouble. I’ve witnessed these types ignore people in hopes the problem/argument will go away; losing potentially valuable relationships in the process. Sometimes being an effective mentor, means they need to advocate and advise you, on your behalf; passive aggressive people will have a hard time fighting for you and securing you opportunities if they need to go up against another mentor or sponsor. When you pick a mentor, ensure they will advocate on your behalf; that they truly believe in you and your potential. 

Avoid people who alienate and are argumentative. People who alienate others and are argumentative, are not popular. If you get associated with them, you too may fall under their poor label, be mindful of the ‘guilty by association’ label. If they can’t get along with a team, you must ask yourself why? Are they arrogant? Narcissistic? Too high on themselves? Argumentative? Argumentative people are not likeable. Arrogant mentors often care more about themselves then their proteges, they may use you to feel good about themselves and this can be short-lived. You can get their help, but be mindful, if a mentor is using you to feed their own ego; their actions and integrity can be compromised. When push comes to shove, will they advocate on your behalf?

Avoid arrogant, narcissistic and ego-driven people. Ego blinds and creates close mindedness, which leads to being rigid. Rigid mentors often believe there is little they can gain from their proteges, that they are the only ones that can provide useful information and knowledge.

Final Questions to Ask Yourself to Assess Critical Character Traits:

• Do they have a strong reputation? What do others say about their character and skillsets?
• Do they have integrity? Are they honest? Do their actions match their word? Do they deliver on their promises?
• Do they care for others? Are they generous? Are they kind and fair? 
• Do they care about you and your career goals?
• Do they accept the authentic you? – If they cannot accept you; the relationship will not be a fit.
• Do they have a diverse and influential network? Can they help open doors for you? Can you help them?

I cannot preach this enough… you want a mentor with a strong morale standard. An effective mentor may be missing some of the hard and soft skills listed above, but, ensure if you choose a mentor, the questions listed above, are a ‘YES.’ 

What to avoid:

Simply put, it doesn’t matter how talented a person is. If they lack integrity; if they lack a certain ethical standard; then you cannot trust them, as their actions will always be up for interpretation. An effective mentor is within your inner circle and this implies you can trust them. If there is no trust, then they aren’t in your inner circle. You may be able to have a decent working relationship with this individual, but you will never truly be close to them. Never allow someone you don’t trust to be in your inner circle.

I will end this article with five things for you to think about:

1. You want a mentor that truly believes in mentoring as a core value.
2. Mentoring relationships form organically over time; as trust is built. This can be a slow process. Be patient.
3. Generally, the most effective and truly caring mentors, pick you. 
4. Before you can attract effective mentors, you must first get their attention; therefore, go out and establish your credibility as a reliable and trustworthy employee. Get results and be the solution.
5. And last but not least, mentorship is a two-way street, a give and take. Part of effective mentorship is for you to mentor others. While you are receiving mentorship, ensure you are mentoring others, always pay if forward.