How to Speak Up When You’re an Introvert

As a senior leader, you're expected to voice your opinions and insights during meetings. However, for introverts or quiet leaders, speaking up can be daunting. Introverts tend to process information internally, preferring to take things in and reflect before speaking. This can be especially challenging if you also struggle with self-doubt or fear of getting it wrong.?

The Pressure to Speak Up

Many clients I speak to share a similar scenario: you're sitting in a high-stakes meeting, listening to the discussion while battling a relentless internal monologue. Thoughts like, "I must say something," conflict with fears of being judged negatively if your idea doesn't land perfectly with the group. You know that contributing is important, yet you're unsure if your thoughts will be valuable. You also don't want to speak just for the sake of it. Your goal is to contribute meaningfully and add value to the conversation. The inner critic triggers a stress response, making your heart race and your body tense up. The result? A feeling of increased anxiety and a strong urge to remain silent. Meanwhile, someone else voices a similar idea, or the conversation shifts, leaving you feeling frustrated and defeated.

While many of us may prefer to remain in the background, actively sharing your ideas helps you establish yourself as an expert in your field, building credibility and influence within your team. Here are some practical strategies to practice speaking up:

Strategies for Speaking Up

Start by noticing your thoughts and emotions during meetings. These can often be subconscious, but it’s important to identify when and where your nervous system is triggered. Get curious and observe without judgment. What is your inner critic saying? What emotions are present? Notice any sensations you’re experiencing and acknowledge them. Reassure your inner critic that you have something valuable to say, and proceed with confidence.

Prepare in advance where possible. Review the agenda as well as any materials relevant to the meeting so you can contribute thoughtfully and knowledgeably. Think of 1-2 questions or thoughts you have ahead of time and jot them down.

Approach your interactions as experiments and opportunities to learn. Research by Megan Reitz and Amy C. Edmondson shows that failed attempts to speak up can silence both the individual and others over the long term. To counter this, they recommend that leaders and team members frame these situations as learning opportunities. They emphasize that "the antidote starts with all team members, including the leader, explicitly framing such interactions as experiments from which everyone expects to learn, especially when things don't go as planned." Amy refers to this as an "intelligent failure": a situation where positive intentions to speak up or listen haven't yielded the desired outcome, but the team actively seeks lessons from the experience.?

Building on this concept, try shifting your mindset from "My idea may be incomplete” to “It could be the source of someone else’s breakthrough" By sharing your ideas, even if they seem incomplete, you might spark an idea that can be built upon.?

Start with a question. Dave Stachowiak at Coaching for Leaders recommends starting by asking a clarifying question. He says, “A helpful practice is to listen through the lens of this question: What else do I need to know to form an opinion about this? Then make a list of questions that arise as you listen. When there is a time for you to speak up, you can say, ‘Before I jump in, I have a quick, clarifying question...’” That’s your way in. You can also express your thoughts while inviting feedback and open dialogue. Simply saying, ‘I might be wrong, but this is what I think. What do you think?’ can be a good way to express an incomplete idea or thought.

Move towards deliberate practice. Eduardo Brince?o suggests in his TED talk that the most effective people and teams alternate between two zones: the learning zone and the performance zone. In the learning zone, we focus on improvement by concentrating on what we haven't mastered yet. We expect to make mistakes here, knowing we will learn from them. In the performance zone, our goal is to execute what we have already mastered to the best of our ability, minimizing mistakes. However, we often spend all our time in the performance zone, hindering our overall growth and performance. Brince?o suggests we intentionally stay in the learning zone when we want to improve, and move towards what Professor Anders Ericsson calls "deliberate practice."

In deliberate practice, you break down abilities into component skills, clearly identifying the sub-skill you're working to improve. You push yourself out of your comfort zone, giving it your full concentration, and seek frequent feedback from a coach or mentor. This feedback leads to improvement. Brince?o suggests focusing on activities designed for improvement such as studying speeches (tip: notice other people speaking up in high-stakes meetings and see how they share their thoughts and interject in meetings). You can also practice speaking up in low-stakes meetings.

For those who face constant high-pressure situations, Brince?o suggests creating "low-stakes islands" for deliberate practice. This could involve finding a mentor to practice and give you feedback, setting aside time to read and learn, or lowering the stakes by sharing with others what you are working on and asking them to give you feedback.

Speak up anyway. Even if it feels hard, lean into courage. Know that with intention and deliberate practice, speaking up will start to feel less stressful and more natural.?

Recommended Resources:?

• Book: Making Your Voice Heard: How to own your space, access your inner power and become influential by Dr. Connson Locke
• Book: Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot by Matt Abrahams
• Coaching for Leaders: How To Speak Up When You’re the Quiet One
• HBR: When a Team Member Speaks Up and it Doesn’t go Well
• TED Talk: How to Get Better at the Things You Care About by Eduardo Brice?o

About Emma

Emma is a certified executive coach, facilitator, and leadership development consultant with over 20 years of experience helping leaders navigate complexity and lead with impact. Founder of Change at Play and Co-Founder of the Institute of Positive Leadership, Emma partners with leaders and teams to unlock their highest potential and create meaningful change.

Lead with greater impact and inspire positive change through personalized one-on-one executive coaching. Reach out to request your complimentary session.