How To Speak So People Love To Listen

We all speak every day. Most of the time we’re pretty comfortable, as long as it stays in the conversation zone. But as soon as we have to stand up and speak, everything changes.

Once we shift from speaking to presenting, we have a lot more responsibility.

The audience doesn’t get to respond the way they do in a conversation, so if we can’t deliver a speech/pitch/presentation that engages and interests the audience, we’re doing more damage than good.

I remember a few years ago, I was a leader of a youth group.

We were supposed to have a speaker come for an event, but he never turned up.

The group members (uni student age) were sitting there, ready for a talk.

I was there with two other leaders, and they both turned to me and just said ‘you do it’.

Great.

Just what I wanted.

I had no idea what I was going to talk about… how I was going to make it interesting… what to say… I had nothing.

I had about 5 minutes to go from ‘wait, I’m giving a talk?’ to ‘showtime’.

So what happened?

Well, before I get to that, I want to say a little about why it even matters.

You see, there a re two kinds of talk: the prepared talk and the impromptu talk. Although the settings are often very different, there are actually certain principles that are true for both kinds of talk.

How do I know?

Because over the last 8 years I’ve written over a thousand speeches for clients ranging from anniversaries to business presentations to political campaigns, hundreds of video scripts, and I’ve given my fair share as well, both prepared and impromptu.

And time and again I’ve seen that the best talks all have a few things in common.

Actually, I’d put it down to ONE thing they all had:

Focus.

Often, we try to say too many things in a speech.

This is particularly true of impromptu speeches, because we’re trying to fill time…

…but I’ve seen it pretty frequently in prepared speeches too.

I’ll bet you have as well.

When that happens, we the audience are left wondering ‘what was their point again?’

You never want that.

So the big idea of good speaking, pitching, and presenting is something the great copywriter and marketer Mark Ford (aka Michael Masterson) calls ‘The Rule Of One’.

You should have one point.

You should have a clear structure with one aim – to show your one point.

Don’t get distracted. We always have multiple things to say, I get it. But power in speaking comes when we choose just one to say at a time.

Now this sounds all well and good in theory – but my pitch and speech coaching students don’t pay me for blue sky thinking which doesn’t mean anything in real life.

So how do you actually put this into practise?

Well, let’s go back to my story about when I was asked to speak as a youth leader.

I asked and answered three questions which you can copy, starting today, to improve your own speaking and pitching, whether prepared or impromptu.

They’re not everything, but they’re a start.

Question One: What is my message?

Seems simple, but get clear on this first.

Actually put it into a sentence, and you’ll see if it’s vague or interesting.

If you’re a CEO presenting at a conference, why are you speaking? What do you really want to say? If it’s ‘we’re doing well this financial year’, that’s vague and meaningless. Recraft your message until it’s got a point.

If you’re a politician, ultimately you want people either to donate or vote, most of the time – so why should they do that? What’s your message for them that will convince them to do that?

It doesn’t matter who you are, answering this question with a clear statement is half the battle.

Question Two: What are some examples to show my message?

People like stories, not information. So show your point with examples.

Bonus points if you can think of relatable and specific (maybe even personal) examples.

Ever heard the old adage ‘tell them what you’re going to say, say it, and then tell them what you’ve said’?

Well, the message is the first part.

Examples and stories that show it, and which you then tie into that message – that’s the second part.

Now let’s go to the ‘tell them what you told them’ part:

Question Three: How can I connect this message to my audience’s life or experience?

You see, just repeating your opening message is weak.

If you’ve given them that message, then you’ve shown it to them with your examples, you’ve done great. Now, you give more examples, specifically relating to your audience.

This flows naturally from the earlier examples – your audience may not even notice a shift.

But you go from general stories or examples, to specific examples that your audience can relate to.

If you’re selling yourself as a buyer’s agent, you talk about you can help your prospect.

Or, if you’re giving an annual report to shareholders, you say in real terms what that means for their shareholdings.

If you’re a motivational speaker, you give examples of your message in everyday life (if that’s applicable, obviously).

So there you have it – three ways to bring more focus into your speaking, pitching, and presenting.

There’s a lot more we could say, and a lot more you can do to speak and pitch better. And if you want to talk to me about coaching you, or writing for you, I’m happy to have a chat.

But if you ask yourself those three questions every time you have to speak, I think you’ll see a surprising difference.

Not just in your speaking – but in your confidence.

Why?

Because these three questions keep you focused on the message and the audience.

Which is, to put it bluntly, the only way to give a good speech. Or to make a sale in a pitch.

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About Alexander Westenberg: I’m a freelance speechwriter and speech/pitch coach with 8 years’ experience. I specialise in clarifying and honing your message into its most powerful presentation, so when you speak – people love to listen. Need an effective, resourceful, and winning writer? Need a personal and practical coach? Might be a good idea for us to talk. [email protected] .?