How to Spark Serendipity at Your Next Event

Do you ever get into a conversation and go down a meaningful rabbit hole and wake up toward the end of the allotted time realizing you haven’t discussed your intended agenda?

How does that make you feel?

I had this happen with Dana Malstaff recently. Our goal was to talk about how emcees can create the conditions for meaningful connections inside an event, but instead of talking about it, we did it. We scheduled 30 minutes for our call and after 28 minutes I said, well I guess I should share why I scheduled this call.

We both laughed and extended the call. We recognized the importance of the conversation and valued the distraction.

I could feel shame because I wasn’t productive in accomplishing my mission, but instead, I found myself curious and affirmed that what I desire to create is possible and needed.

Imagine with me that attendees at your next event walk away with a handful of meaningful action items that feel doable and significant. What if they also held the names of three to five new connections that feel like allies and friends??

What if it was just one or two powerful relationships and action steps? Would that still be worth it?

People will always take pictures of the parties, reunions, and highlight-reel moments, but they will remember how they felt when that new idea sparked or when they entered a meaningful conversation.

During our conference in 2018, I challenged my team to create a list of two or three things they wanted to see happen during the conference for it to take on a deeper level of personal meaning. I shared my list half-heartedly with a team member because my top goal at the event is to be a host that creates those moments for everyone else. I’m not there looking for personal benefit.

You can imagine my surprise when all three of my wishlist items happened before the first session ever started. All three of them took place in the hallway during brief conversations with friends. If I hadn’t set the intention, I’m not sure I would have noticed.

Sparking Serendipity on Purpose

How do you spark serendipity on purpose? You can’t make it happen, but you can create the right conditions and spark the flint.

If you’re a Survivor? fan you probably enjoy watching the fire-lighting challenge. The ones who win always know how to create the conditions that allow a spark to turn into a flame and then into a burning fire.?

Here are some basic elements for creating the conditions for serendipity:

Element #1: Create Space

Have you ever walked out of a conference and said, “I felt like I was drinking out of a firehose.” As an event organizer or speaker, it’s easy to read that as a compliment. We think, “There was so much goodness they couldn’t possibly take it all in.”?

But what if your customers really mean, “I felt blasted by the information and opportunities and never found time to take a breath or find those deeper moments.” That’s a lot like a heavy wind blowing on a small spark—the flame will never catch.

“Slow down before you speed up.” Mimika Cooney ?

It’s easy to think you need to hit them hard and hit them fast or you’ll lose them. My recommendation is to treat this like a long distance race. Distance runners will typically start out a bit faster in their first mile to get into a good position and then settle into a good pace. After that, it’s only for key moments or the end of the race when they sprint.?

We hope our attendees will spend time setting their intentions and goals before they arrive, but the reality is that less than half of them will do so. So we need to be intentional about creating the different kinds of space people need to be open to the change they need or seek.

Here are three types of space to consider:

1. Physical space: Do you have places where people can sit alone or in quiet conversations? Do you have natural beauty or creative elements that might inspire bigger thoughts or conversations?
2. Temporal space: How have you designed your schedule? Do you schedule sessions one after another for four hours with no scheduled breaks or opportunities for reflection or conversation? I’ve seen this happen and it becomes very uncomfortable. Create breaks that are long enough to have a conversation (or two) and take care of your biological needs (coffee, food, bathroom) and still get to whatever is next on the schedule.?
3. Emotional space: People need to feel safe. Our human nature is to enter the fight, flight, or freeze mode when we encounter danger or the unknown. People won’t seek serendipity if they are scared. One way to create psychological safety is through communicating and showing how you’re taking care of personal safety (security guards, health protocols, and a well-organized event). People notice that you’ve thought of tiny details and that puts them at ease (see article on the ROI of a toothbrush ). A second way is by helping people find their tribe quickly. We all want to feel like we belong and are known. At our events, we try to start this long before they arrive.

Element #2: Expect Serendipity

If you’re not looking for serendipity, you will rarely find it. I constantly say, “Expect Serendipity.” I know of countless stories of people finding jobs, partnerships, and valuable help because they were looking for opportunities.

Fiona came to our event as a speaker and a thought leader in the sports industry. After the event, she caught me at the wrap-up party and told me about the transformational conversation she had with a man named Peter. They started talking after a session and realized their businesses were in similar stages of growth. The conversation intensified and they both realized this was why they came to the conference so they decided to skip the next two sessions.

Fiona told me she was looking for opportunities and immediately took action when one presented itself.?

How do you create expectancy? Share stories. Talk about possitibilities. Encourage people to dream.

The adage goes, “People notice what they are looking for.” If people describe for themselves what they seek, they will be far more likely to notice it.

Element #3: Stay Curious

“Curiosity killed the cat,” goes the popular adage. But I would argue a lack of curiosity kills the soul.

Jon Berhoff teaches the power of appreciative inquiry . He believes by asking the right questions we can quickly tap the collective wisdom of a group or organization. This will lead to change at a much faster rate than an individual can affect.

One of the keys is to stay curious in every conversation and moment. It may sound lofty and unachievable but start by staying present in the moment. When you are in a conversation, focus on that person and don’t wonder about who else you could be talking with. Ask questions. Listen for the story behind the story.?

Every person has a story worth sharing.

Steve Preston worked on the cabinet for President George W. Bush. He marveled at the way President Bush prepared for every meeting and meal. His staff would do research and give him things to read and review to prepare. He would read enough to have an interesting and informed conversation with each person he met.?

Of course, we can’t do that at a conference for every person we meet. But what if you retained that level of curiosity about the experience and expertise of each person you meet? How will that make the other person feel? What if instead of entering a debate you sought to understand how someone reached the conclusions and opinions they hold??

No person holds a corner on truth or wisdom. In fact, information creation has grown exponentially in recent decades. Just since 2010, the amount of information stored online has grown by 5000%. Information is a commodity and easily discovered. Meaningful relationships are gold that deserves deliberate mining. If you keep digging, you might even find diamonds or mithril (the fictitious metal found in The Lord of the Rings).

Element #4: Linger

I love watching cowboys herding cattle or border collies shepherding sheep. But I hate being treated like a cow or sheep at events. Have you experienced that? The session ends and as soon as it’s over the audio/visual technician cranks up the music loud enough that you have no choice but to leave the room.

I’ll never forget this happening at a large conference. A keynote session just ended and the content was particularly stimulating. I couldn’t wait to discuss one of the points with my peers. But as soon as the emcee closed the session the music cranked up to 10. I couldn’t think or hear my peers. We all stood up and quietly waited in line to escape the noise.

By the time I reached the lobby, I could no longer remember what I wanted to discuss. So instead we turned to our basic needs of food, coffee, and bathrooms—the moment was lost.

If you want people to have meaningful conversations, you need to create space for it. Here are a few ways to do that:

• Bake it into the agenda: Instead of having short breaks that barely leave enough time to grab some coffee and visit the bathroom, make some of your breaks long enough that people feel comfortable lingering for a few moments after each session.
• Create opportunities to linger: Invite your emcees to create short moments before and after sessions where they ask stimulating questions that can lead to deeper conversations.
• Give permission to linger. Some people may prefer to do this in silence whereas others want to process it out loud. Some may desire to ask follow-up questions of the presenter and others may want to be guided through a reflective process. Provide some options.

Conclusion:

You can’t force serendipity, but you can create the conditions for powerful connections and memories to be formed. Just a few intentional choices on your part could very well spark some life-changing moments.

What do you think?:

Where have you seen this done well? What do you remember about it?