How social media affect your self esteem.

 Social media is great for a lot of things. It can help you connect with friends, family and relatives from any part of the world, it can help you operate a great business without even meeting people face to face, it can help you become a millionaire, a celebrity, etc. But it also can destroy you, it can make you a victim or a monster, it can put you in trouble. It can kill your self esteem or even cost you your life, if you are not careful.

I could try to analyze all these things that I listed above but that might take forever, and will make this article very long that you may not want to read it all. So, for the sake of time and priority I'll focus on self esteem.

Early this week I received a message on social media from a stranger whom I have never met or known, she might have known me but I do not know her. She was denouncing me for not following her on the social media platform called Instagram.She took it very personal as though her life it depended on it. I was surprised and shocked with her message. I didn't know how to reply her. I wanted to ignore her but I didn't. So here is what I said to her "why does it bother you so much that I didn't follow you on social media? I don't even know you so it shouldn't bother you at all. Anyway, have a great day"

As I went to bed that night I started thinking about the situation and I thought to myself, a lot of people (especially young people) could be going through this issue of depending on social media for happiness. So, why don't I write about it and put it out there, it could benefit someone. So here I am.

I know the lady that sent me that message is not the only one being negatively affected by social media. Especially in this era of liking posts and getting followers. Some people even get sad or depressed when they make a post and don't get as much "likes" as they will want or they don't get as much followers as they wanted. It makes them feel inferior.

Some people get so caught up in this that they sometimes delete any of their pictures or posts that don't get as much likes as they want; and then repost the same picture or posts on a later date with the hope that people will like it more. I mean, if you are doing this as a marketing strategy that's fine but if you are doing it just to feel good about yourself then you are already in trouble. What people do on social media shouldn't affect you that much, if it does affect you that much, you may need help. I know some people even pay to buy likes and followers online. again if this is a marketing strategy then it find but if it not then that's just pathetic. You shouldn't buy like or followers just to make yourself feel good or feel like somebody. When you start behaving like this, you should know that you are personally keeling yourself internally, because a person who depend on fake likes to feel like somebody is already a no body.

Stop measuring your self worth or self importance on the fake likes and followers you get on social media, you are not helping yourself but mentally enslaving yourself to others. You are placing your own happiness on people's hand and that's a dangerous curb, because any day that the people decided to withdraw/withhold their likes or following you are going to feel sad and inferior. Remember that you will never be completely free or happy as long as your self worth in depended on how many likes or followers you get, at best you might be happy for just a few minutes. "it is something like improving the food in the prison why the prisoner remain securely incarcerated." What matter is not how many likes your posts get or how many people follow you, what matter is how much you like yourself or the posts you make. 

Focus on loving yourself and make the posts that you like, if other people like your post that's great and if they don't like it that's also great. Post something and tell yourself if I get a lot of likes or views that's awesome but if you don't that's also awesome. I'm sure you won't chop off your hands just because some people don't like them, or would you ? If the answer is no; then stop beating yourself up just because someone didn't follow you or like your posts on social media. Even if they don't like you off of social media too, it shouldn't bother you because not everyone will like or follow you in life; no matter how great you are.

You know you are losing yourself to social media when how many likes or views or followers begin to bother you. The best way to know you are in control is to post stuff and don't care whether you get only one like or 1000 likes. Sure, it feels good to have a lot of likes but don't let that define you or affect you.

I know a lot of people,( especially young people) competes on getting the most likes or followers just to satisfy their self worth but don't let that be you. Sure, if you get thousands or even millions or likes take it and feel good but if you don't, don't let that get to you. because all that will do is diminish your self esteem and make you feel like a loser or a no body. Remember, you are somebody!

Thousands of people may follow you online but how many of them follow you in real life? How many of them can you count on when you need help? 

Social media is that sweet evil that can build you or destroy you, don't let it destroy you. Also, stop comparing yourself to others on social media. You forget that most time most people only post the happy or best moments of their lives on social media and very little or not at all of the worse moments. Yet when you see that, you begin to compare yourself with them, what that will do to you is make you feel bad and inferior about yourself, especially when you are having a bad day and you make those comparisons.

The best way to handle social media is to not get emotionally involved with it. Example, when you see a great picture, say "oh she or he looks great" and move on. Don't dwell on it and try to get all emotional by telling yourself she looks great and you are not, therefore she must be better or prettier than you. Don't let social media validate you. You are better than any number of likes or followers. Love yourself all the time and not only when you get likes and followers on social media. If you only feel validated on social media then what will happen the day that people stop following or stop liking your pictures and posts ?. Social media is a great tool but is also a very dangerous tool. Don't be a victim. 

Please, share this with someone or with a group today and help build their self esteem or even save their lives. #selfesteem #socialMedia