How To Be A Social Distancing Butterfly

‘Connect with others’ is no longer a fatuous feel-good platitude. It’s a dead-serious critical survival skill.

We’re beyond the superficial content-mill quickie advice posts on how to take care of our mental health while we undergo protracted COVID-19 social distancing measures that were initially supposed to end after a couple of weeks. We’re in this for the long haul and for many, mental illness just got real.

As we move from countless musicians and artists telling us how to stay home and wash our hands to entreaties to leave some toilet paper for the rest of us, we’re beginning to realize just how much we need to connect with others.

Ironic how just a few months ago we lamented no one ever meets face-to-face anymore, and how we ‘connect’ too much with technology.

Now it’s our literal lifeline.

Video conferencing has become a way of life to connect with anyone who doesn’t live under the same roof sharing your potential CoronaCooties.

While some work at home and others are newly ‘liberated’ from work AND stuck at home, we all have more downtime, and for many (like, most of us), our overactive brains hasten to fill the time with thoughts, mostly unhelpful.

Like, rumination about things past and why they still bug us.

Increased anxiety about the future, how to feed your family and whether you’ll be able to buy food and other critical supplies while we wait out this nasty microbial World War I landmine bastard.

Waiting for the next family emotional outburst.

The global recession.

A criminally negligent and incompetent national ‘leader’.

For some, like the elderly and the immunocompromised, COVID-19 brings the very real threat of an unpleasant death. Or that of a loved one.

Even if you’re not high-risk, that prospect just inched a little closer.

So it’s critical, absolutely critical, that we turn toward each other rather than away at this time.

Hence our former nemesis and new bestie, digital/mobile technology.

It helps to know others are in the same boat. You while away time on social media and if folks aren’t sharing how anxious they really feel, it’s easy to mistake their stiff upper lip for weathering this pandemic and social isolation just fine, thankyouverymuch. When in fact, they’re panicking too but trying to avoid spreading it around like COVIDiot college students partying with pathogens.

Now we’ve got video conferencing technology, and old-fashioned phone calls for those who need to keep up with the technologically-challenged (i.e., their grandparents) and new ways to get in touch and have fun without endangering everyone around them.

Organize a virtual party

Zoom allows up to 20 video accounts at once. That’s just for the free personal account! It limits you to forty minute meetings but it allows you to immediately re-schedule a new one, allotting everyone just enough time for a potty break. A paid account for personal use is $20 a month (but your guests can still log on for free) and allows unlimited time for conferencing.

However, I was on a conference recently where a Zoom message popped up at the 40-minute mark and said something to the effect that they weren’t going to end this call, that we could continue uninterrupted. Which we did, for another four hours. Thank you, Zoom!

Get your friends together, pour a glass of wine, and socialize from the safety of your own living rooms!

Organize a virtual high school or college reunion

I did this recently for some college friends. We had so much fun we’re doing it again next weekend, with more people. Some of us hadn’t spoken to others in decades. We’ve had a few F2F reunions in the college town from whence we came but that’s not always feasible for people scattered in far-flung states (or far-flung countries like myself, although fortunately Toronto isn’t that far from Kent, Ohio so I can drive it in a day).

Connect with others you haven’t seen or talked to in awhile

Now I’m reaching out to other ancient friends to see if they want to connect. Haven’t gotten a no so far! Even the technologically-challenged are making more of an effort to join in (even my mom!) People are so desperate to connect with others they’d agree to Skype with Darth Vader. I’m arguably a step up. At least, I’m not an evil megalomaniacal Sith Lord.

Schedule a virtual movie night with friends

A Toronto friend watched a Netflix movie with someone on Facetime the other night. They both started the movie at the same time and watched it together, making comments. (Facetime only works for Apple users). Ironically, this is similar to how he and I became friends back when I was still living in Connecticut, with a shared love for Buffy the Vampire Slayer and a couple of POTS lines.

I have a depressed friend in Philadelphia I’m going to suggest doing the movie-watching thing with, except the 2020 rather than 2002 way. I have just the movie in mind to cheer him up. Netflix has a Chrome extension called Netflix Party that I haven’t checked out yet.

Be there for 1:1 mental health support

That depressed friend and I are going to Skype later today. I’m glad he felt comfortable reaching out for help because many men aren’t used to that. It helps to be amenable and supportive. I’ve read of women who castigate men for not being stronger and more stoic and to ‘man up’ when they’re feeling depressed, stressed or anxious. This is a terrible way to treat another human being, particularly exactly the sort of humans we’re always complaining don’t talk about their feelings enough.

Don’t be that woman.

Become a virtual volunteer

You can even connect with strangers and help them in their time of need by volunteering to be a crisis counselor (they’ll train you) for nonprofits and to help monitor social media for people who might be in crisis for whom you can offer help.

Red Cross Digital Volunteer

Smithsonian Transcription Center Volunteer

United Nations Volunteers (Many different types needed!)

Crisis Text Line Counselor

Source

Humans are creative and innovative and we’ll find new ways to connect with each other now that we can no longer touch DNA that isn’t ours or doesn’t live with us.

What other ideas have you got for video conferencing or otherwise connecting during our prolonged social isolation?

Stay safe and healthy! And remember to leave some toilet paper for the rest of us. When I’m not reaching out and virtually touching someone, I provide freelance content creation & sales/business development services, and help folks manage their mental health challenges during the COVID-19 crisis. Helping others helps us keep our ruminating, overactive minds off ourselves.