This Is How The Smartest Career Professionals Receive Feedback

Congratulations, you’ve done it. You’ve mustered up the courage to ask for feedback?from your boss, and she’s agreed to deliver that feedback?to you.

Now what?

Just as you had a plan to request feedback, you should also prepare to receive it; here’s how:

Before

Remember why you asked

Before you step into that meeting, remind yourself why you asked for it. The benefit of receiving feedback is that it helps you understand where you’re excelling and areas that need more attention. Both types of input will help you improve your skills, performance, and relationships so that you can do your job better.

Set the tone

Don’t be an “askhole,” someone who asks for feedback and then gets upset when it’s given to you. Prepare yourself for feedback by adopting a growth mindset, or one in which you view any criticism as a chance to learn. And don’t keep it to yourself—communicate to your boss that you’re grateful for the opportunity to discuss your performance with her and that you’re willing to hear the good and bad. This establishes a non-confrontational environment with a shared goal of improvement.

During

Listen to understand, not respond

As tempting as it might be to jump in with commentary, focus on actively listening when your boss begins to share feedback with you. Your job is first to understand and not respond to feedback, so use your pause button if you hear something unexpected. As you listen, take notes and jot down any questions that pop up in your mind to minimize interruptions. When they’re done, repeat back what you’ve heard to ensure that you fully understand their perspective. This gives your boss a chance to confirm or better express their assessment.

Ask questions to share your perspective

After you’ve heard from your boss, you’ll likely want to respond. Rather than debate, which your boss could view as combative, allow your curiosity to lead you by asking questions. If something wasn’t clear, it’s okay to ask for clarification and examples to aid in your understanding of what’s working and what’s not. Have a conversation, not a confrontation. Remember, the goal is to collaboratively work toward solutions by identifying and addressing issues.

After

Establish and agree upon next steps

Before you leave your meeting, be sure that you’ve mutually agreed on next steps and timing. Specificity is your friend; it aligns you and your boss and removes ambiguity, so winging it won’t work. In addition to acknowledging your boss’s comments, be clear on exactly what kind of feedback?you’re?looking for—would you like three things you can work on to improve? Guidance on setting long-term goals? Being direct and specific in your communication helps your boss do the same to create a win-win. When you have clear feedback and a game plan and timetable attached to it, you’re more likely to succeed.

Don’t forget to say thank you

Be sure to thank your boss for sharing feedback with you, even if you didn’t love all of it. Remember, it isn’t always easy to be on that side of the table either. Expressing genuine appreciation doesn’t mean that you necessarily agree with everything they said; it demonstrates your professionalism and maturity and acknowledges the time they took to do an assessment and share their thoughts with you. And bonus: they’re more apt to do it again.

This article was first published on Forbes.com. Find it?here,?and my other Forbes articles?here.

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