How small things matter - Stroke economy, an analogy

Imagine that you are having a long day at work, and you had been yelled at by your boss for not meeting the deadlines. Finally, late in the evening, you take a cab home and there is a huge traffic en route. You reach home completely exhausted. Your 8-year-old son looks at you all tired and grabs a glass of water and asks you how your day was. Suddenly, there is a punch of happiness that kicks in and your tiring day does not seem to matter anymore. We all need attention and a good lot of acknowledgment for our existence.

In psychology, Stroke is 'a unit of recognition' one person acknowledging another by way of act or speech. There are 2 types of stokes. Positive and Negative. Positive Strokes are anything that makes you feel good when you get them; a compliment, a smile, a hug, etc. Negative Strokes are anything that makes us feel bad when we get them; a frown, being left out or ignored, a slap, a punch, an insult, etc.

In our workplaces, there is a culture of rewards and recognition that happen on a periodic basis, maybe quarterly, and with Agile, maybe once in a sprint as a part of retrospective meeting. Is this culture sufficient enough to make employees get a feel of belongingness ??!!!

A positive stroke from your 8-year son reduced stress and completely changed the mood. It pumped in some extra energy to keep going despite the long day. When small strokes like this can hold so great powers, isn't it required to inculcate the culture of strokes in workplaces?

The stroke economy is?a set of internalized rules that inhibit people from exchanging strokes freely. There is an incident that happened in my life a year ago. I had invited a few guests home and I had prepared paneer curry for lunch. During lunch, one of the guests, with the very first bite complimented me for making a very delicious curry. Very instinctively, I replied, "The paneer is very fresh so the curry came out well". An unexpected compliment made me very uncomfortable, rather than accepting it, I passed the credits to the fresh paneer. I could have replied with a thank you. This was a typical failure to receive a positive stroke. This often happens in our workplaces too, especially as we take up higher roles.

As we grow high up in our careers, we shut ourselves from accepting compliments from our team. We restrict ourselves from providing a positive stroke assuming that it could sound like flattery, creating a stroke economy. The truth is that we all need strokes. It increases motivation and establishes a strong connection with the employer or the company. On the other hand, negative strokes like constructive criticism are very much required than not saying anything at all. (Please read this?article? in the link for tips to provide feedback).

Remuneration and awards are conditional strokes. A person was awarded because of the exceptional work that was done. However unconditional strokes are not easily exchanged in workplaces; an appreciation for a positive cheerful attitude on day to day basis, a pat on the back for the hard work and not giving up easily, a compliment for not missing out any meetings or being on time to office. How often do we compliment someone for the person they are and the skills they bring in?!!! The world is behind numbers and success. Being outcome oriented makes employees more and more disconnected to their workplaces.

Do leaders today suffer from a stroke economy?

By providing the right strokes, can leaders make companies a better workplace?

As humans, we are more comfortable with strokes in our personal life from friends and family. It is very easy to compliment someone and say, "Nice dress", "Looking good", "yummy meal". Do we have this comfort at work?

How often have you heard people say "Clean code", "Nice logic/architecture", "Cool slides", "Wonderful presentation", "Working long, thanks for the dedication" !!! Leaders need to break this stroke economy and enable an environment of free-flowing strokes in workplaces. A true home away from home. Also, as leaders, do not forget to give yourself permission to receive strokes. It is not necessary to keep your shield on always, not all compliments are meant for flattery. Be aware that too much of anything can be poisonous. Imagine that your 8-year-old son gets you a glass of water every day as soon as you return home. You will not appreciate the act, it rather becomes an expectation because of the habit it created. Broken expectations have negative consequences eventually. Provide an honest stroke with the right balance. If the balance is lost, strokes start looking less genuine.

A change in culture, a positive vibe is what we truly need. More than rewards, it is the small things that matter and motivates people to stay. Find your balance with strokes and start making workspaces a happier place to be :) Remember that positive stroke can be as simple as hearty smile.

Please share your comments on how comfortable are you in giving and accepting strokes at work, irrespective of whether the person is the CEO of the company or a housekeeping staff.

?#StrokeEconomy #Hope #ChangeInCulture #Leadership