How to slow down time

“Time is moving so fast”

Part of me says, “you can’t do anything about it,” but another part of me says, maybe you can??

That’s when I thought, maybe I can’t slow time, but I can be more intentional about how I spend the time I do have. This made me think about a 2x2 matrix. I actually just repurposed a Prioritization Matrix that I learned in a LinkedIn training!?

The 2x2 Matrix for Time Management

The matrix is divided into four quadrants along two axes. The vertical axis represents the value of activities and the horizontal axis represents the time and energy required for the activities.

Top-Right Corner: Flow and Meaning?

Activities that consume time and require effort, but reward you with meaning, purpose, insights, and long-term fulfillment. If done right, these can have a fun element to them and even slow down time, especially if they put you into a flow state. Some examples below.?

Professional Growth??

• Mastering a craft?
• Advancing your career without overwhelming yourself
• Learning and applying new skills/insights?

Personal Growth??

• Going to therapy
• Overcoming bad habits
• Achieving long-time personal goals?

Quality Family Time

• Some on these are relatively easy :?1) making time for helping your child advance toward a milestone and ?2) eating dinner as a family together?
• While some of these are full of friction upfront, but payoff later:?1) establishing and maintaining rules for your defiant toddler 2) having a difficult, yet constructive conversation with your spouse instead of ignoring the problem or yelling at each other about it?

Planning and Strategy?

• Taking time to plan your day, week, or long-term goals
• Taking time to reflect on progress you are making towards those goals

Health and Wellness

• Exercising?
• Eating a healthy diet
• Proactive stress management
• Mindfulness activities like meditation or yoga that enhance your awareness and presence.
• Other self-care practices like sensory deprivation chambers, which I highly recommend

Note: Some of these also move into the fun and leisure category once you make them part of your routine.?

Mission work

• Doing work to better a community
• Volunteering for a non-profit organization or committee

Bottom-Right Corner: Flailing

Activities that consume time and require effort with little to no value in return. They take you nowhere fast and furiously. Some examples below.?

Emotional distress

• These can be interpersonal conflicts like: 1) not speaking your mind/heart and being unhappy about it or 2) suffering the consequences?Saying something out of an intense emotion and later regretting it because it was an overreaction?
• These can also be intrapersonal conflicts like: 1) fear,?2) self-criticism,?or 3) holding on to anger
• Either of these will figuratively weigh on your mind and take time and energy from everything else.?
• Why these are all natural and happen to all of us, it’s about how much time we choose to spend on them. Some people learn to address these early on, some people struggle with them all their lives.

Poor execution

• Perfectionism, especially when 80/20 is sufficient
• Busy work?
• Unnecessary meetings
• Committing to too? many obligations

Wanting to control the uncontrollable

• Some on these are immediate and low stakes: ?1) stressing out over long lines at the theme park,?1) getting irritated with slow technology, or 2) wanting to rush when you are stuck in a traffic jam
• While some of these take their time to play out and have much higher stakes: 1) not accepting your mortality or that of your loved ones,?2) wanting people to change their cores, or thinking you can end all suffering in yourself and others
• Nobody wants these to happen, but spending too much time simply worrying (with no action) or thinking we have control (not influence), is to flail in the worst mental spaces and a waste of your precious time.

Top Left Quadrant:? Fun and leisure

Intentional, invigorating, activities that? allow you to savor and enjoy life. These are what life is all about and? “what we work so hard for.” Examples below.

Time with loved ones

• Playing with your children
• Having a date with your spouse
• Catching up with a long-time friend

Active Leisure

• Playing in a friendly sports league
• Going
• Camping

Entertainment

• Reading a great book
• Watching a movie
• Enjoying a show and reading up on the hidden meanings in it

Simple pleasures

• Eating a delicious meal
• Drinking a finely crafted beverage
• Or any moderate consumption of highly-quality goods

Bottom Left Corner: Mindlessness?

Activities that make time zoom by, but are not worthwhile. They often lead to a sense of wasted time/effort and can include negative habits. While sometimes spending time in this quadrant can feel necessary to unwind, it often leads to regret or guilt from overdoing it. Examples below.?

Mindless Entertainment

• Passively watching TV for hours?
• Scrolling through social media feeds without a purpose
• Reading articles on the internet to procrastinate

Addictions and Bad Habits

• Excessive drinking?
• Smoking
• Uncontrollably snacking or eating too many processed foods

Rumination

• Spending time worrying or stressing without taking action
• Thinking that people are personally judging you for something frivolous
• Replaying an embarrassing moment from your past
• This is different from emotional distress in that these are less in the forefront of your thoughts because they aren’t as intense. These linger under the surface and sneakily and passively take your time, energy, and joy.

Conclusion

Entering that sensory deprivation chamber was surreal. I slowed down time and that triggered a chain of thoughts that can help maximize the precious time I do have. It was fun to put this matrix together, but if I don’t implement it, this will have been an exercise in flailing. My hope is that putting this into action will slow down time, even if it’s just a little bit.?