How Simple Comments Can Shape Careers

Traci unwittingly set me on the path to writing my book. I had coached her as she was trying to land a senior executive role. It was a stressful negotiation. We had only met via phone, and on our third and final call, she said, "You say a lot so quickly. You should write a book."?

Though she now doesn't recall making that remark, it acted as the catalyst for a journey that has made a shift for me that was not in my control. But it pushed me beyond what I believed was possible for myself.?

I didn't have a relationship with Traci, so when I reached out to her in appreciation when the book was published, she had no idea she had a part in the process. To me, she motivated me through many days of struggle to finish. Many people say the most challenging part of writing a book is finishing.?

It's astounding to think that a passing comment, likely given without much thought, could yield such an outcome for someone who was not a writer.

This experience reminds me of our words' impact, especially when we occupy leadership roles.?

Early in my career, I remember talking to my friend Jon and telling him, "I hate managing people." He paused and then responded with a simple, "It shows," Those two words turned out to be a sharp wake-up call. I can still pinpoint where that conversation took place because it felt like I'd been slapped across the face. I owe Jon a debt of gratitude for that candid comment.?

It made me realize that leadership isn't a privilege but a responsibility to those we lead.

Since that moment, I've strived to shift the focus away from myself and place it squarely on the needs of others.?

I'm a work in progress, but the formula is straightforward: listen more, ask more questions, and act purposefully. A mere passing comment, like the one from a friend like Jon.

I finally met Traci in person over coffee, where she shared her favorite negotiation strategy, one that has profoundly altered her perspective: No is a place to start, not the end of a conversation. She explained that she used to hear "no" in the past, and it was over.?

Traci now pushes beyond the initial rejection and gains a more profound understanding of the other person's interests. Her objective isn't to play games with the other party but rather to foster a deeper understanding to create better outcomes for herself and others.

Contrary to what we might assume, saying "no" isn't easy for most people. If you doubt this, try spending a day responding to everything with a simple "no." It's far more challenging than it seems. Therefore, we should strive to become comfortable with "no."?

Delivering a "no" to others is most effective warmly and without excessive explanation.?

While the temptation to provide reasons for our decision may stem from a desire to spare feelings, people are more likely to accept "no" gracefully when it's offered with warmth and confidence.

• Traci made a simple comment that positively impacted my professional career.?
• Jon taught me an important lesson through a simple comment.?
• My book gave Traci a concept that she lives by.?

What we share creates impact. Our words are considered as leaders even when we don't expect to be quoted. We don't always know when the microphone is on.?

Assume that everything you put out there can have an impact on others. You never know what might stick. You can create a transformative moment for someone's career by simply speaking the truth.

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