How to shut up and make people love you

Hi it’s me Al. Welcome to this issue of The Speakeasy.?

When I was in my late teens I was in love (weren’t we all). She had dark hair and a button nose. She loved wearing dresses in the summer.

It felt as if she had a different one every day - pinks, pale blues and soft yellows like fields of sunflowers. There were patterns, lines and prints... painted ladybirds and smiling suns.?

For every mood there seemed a perfect fit. And my mood was lifted every time I saw her.

I began to compliment her on them. Each time her smile stretched a little wider. Each time our conversation lasted a little longer.

One day she wore a white dress with an assortment of flowers printed on it. When she walked it billowed gently around her knees like a pet cloud. It was the prettiest one yet.

‘You look magnificent!’ I said.

?‘Thank you.’ She replied, and did a small curtsy.

‘You remind me of my grandma. She has wallpaper just like that.’

The words fell out of my mouth like sea anchors. Her smile disappeared and she regarded me curiously, like a beetle stuck in soup.

I wished the world would open up and swallow me whole.?I should have shut up while I was ahead.

I had spent weeks talking my way into this friendship (and hopefully more). In a split second, I had managed to talk my way right back out of it.

As salespeople we do something similar. We focus a lot on talking our way INTO a deal. But we don’t direct the same effort into NOT talking our way OUT OF it.?

It’s just as important. There’s nothing worse than having a deal in your hand and then having it disappear.?

How does it happen?

How can we stop it?

Say less!

One of the quickest ways to talk somebody out of your product or idea is by talking too much. Just like that instance in my teens - you need to stop when you’re ahead.

To do this you need to make your presentations and your sales meetings shorter.

A recent poll on Hubspot revealed that 59% of buyers feel that sales meetings are too long.?

When meetings run on too long, the capacity of our audience to remember the details rapidly diminishes. This means that you can do everything right - you can follow all the rules for influential speaking, but if you don’t stop when you’re ahead it’s all going to get filed under ‘garbage’ (or you’re going to say something and ‘lose the girl’, as they say in the classics).

In today’s environment there is an extra element that exacerbates this phenomenon. It’s called ‘meeting stacking.’

What is meeting stacking?

In the before times (before Covid, I mean), there were natural gaps between meetings. Whether it was car rides to and from meetings, walking across the street or simply going back to your office for an hour when waiting for colleagues to arrive. It turns out those gaps are VITAL for information processing.

With the boom in online conferencing, those gaps have all but evaporated. We go from one digital meeting to the next, like Tarzan swinging from tree to tree. Prospects end up overwhelmed. You end up drained. There is no time to process, no time to file the information we receive.?

As a salesperson you need your prospects to be able to do that! You need to be memorable.

How to stay memorable

One of the most important ways to stay memorable is to be economical with your facts and words. Less is more.

There are 4 ways to achieve this:

• Structure and agree the agenda beforehand with your client.
• ADAPT the agenda on the call if you need to, particularly if you are talking to a group of 10 Do all 10 people have the same 3 needs/pains or problems? Do a poll to read the room.
• Be brief in how you speak - DO NOT WAFFLE. Less words communicate a person that is confident and knows her stuff.
• End the meeting early. It's a wild one, I know but if you have a presentation scheduled for an hour, get your part done in 30 minutes (or less!). That leaves time for questions and digestion. It will also take the pressure off your prospects, who might have a meeting directly afterwards. You can introduce some breathing space to their day, and that will make you memorable.?

1 exercise to keep your presentation short

Here is a simple and practical method to keep you from waffling too long:

• Animate your slides and say 1 thought per click of your mouse. As you click, take one breathe, say one thought. You’ll notice that your slides start to work like a metronome. They keep you in time, your mouse clicks keep you in check. You can also time your presentation like this to make sure it fits into the allotted meeting time!

In case you missed it…

I love hearing your comments and learning about the particular challenges you’re facing when it comes to speaking confidently. Check out some of the recent discussions from our LinkedIn community about presenting online, negotiating in the flesh, or simply being more assertive and confident in meetings, and leave a comment. I answer 100% of questions asked!

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