How to Shut Out Distractions and Be Present

Last week, in our employee chat room, our Brokerage Manager Dave Cranfield shared a video with a simple message: “Live in the now.” 

Okay, so the video’s message was a bit more complex than a Wayne’s World quote. It went more like this: don’t exaggerate what you did yesterday, or be distracted by how much you’ll do tomorrow. Be present in what you’re doing now.

The idea struck a nerve. Several other team members responded immediately, saying they really needed to hear that message. Seeing their responses made me realize what a big issue this is.

We’re all worried about the future.

And we’re also second-guessing our past, as individuals or companies or as a nation.

Doing that takes up most of the mental and emotional space we have to give. There’s not much left for living in the present. But if the present is where we make the choices that affect our future, doesn’t that seem like a vicious circle?

Worrying about the future and second-guessing our past doesn't leave much room for living in the present. But if the present is where we make choices that affect our future, isn't that a vicious circle?

In my last article, I mentioned a compliment a client gave to her agent and application specialist. To deliver the compassionate service that earned that client’s business, both of these ladies had to be fully present in the moment. Being present is the only way we can slow down, ask the right questions, listen, and serve our clients with the compassion and patience they deserve.

So how do we stay in the present without neglecting the bigger issues that need our attention, too?

A Little Inspiration

If you know me, you’ve probably heard me talk about Roman legions or the warriors of Sparta. Maybe it’s because of my military background, but these guys often spring to mind when I’m looking for examples of how to handle adversity.

One of the best sources for advice in just about any situation is Marcus Aurelius, a Stoic philosopher and Roman emperor. So I went looking to see if he had any advice about being present in the moment. Turns out, he does. Here’s what he wrote: “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” - Marcus Aurelius

The concept seems simple, right? Focus on what you can change, not what you can’t – we’ve all seen that advice in memes and self-help books before.

But I think that’s over-simplifying the situation. If we go back to the original quote from Marcus Aurelius, he’s telling us to do two things: realize our power, and find strength. That’s a lot more active than simply focusing.

The part I think we need to focus on is finding strength.

We need to translate the ability to be present into long-lasting mental strength – in other words, build it like a muscle.

Practice Makes Permanent

If you’re having trouble staying in the present, treat the ideas below like exercises. The more you do, the stronger you’ll become:

• Focus on the person you’re talking to. This sounds easy, but it’s harder than you think to do it consistently. The next time you’re in a meeting or on a call, be mindful - catch yourself if you mentally back away and start reviewing your to-do list, making weekend plans, or worrying about something that will happen later. Force your mind back to the words the other person is saying.
• Leave negative emotions in the past. This is also hard to do, especially with all the uncertainty in the world right now. Maybe someone you know just got sick, your favorite local business just went under, or a family member lost their job. It’s normal to feel anger or fear – but you can’t bring those emotions into your next sales call. You have to compartmentalize so you can give your full attention to the person you’re talking to. There will be plenty of time later to think, plan, or worry. But you can do the most good right now by helping your clients, prospects, or employees move forward.
• Talk to people about things that don’t matter. If you know me, you know I love walking around the building and talking to everyone about movies, hobbies, families, travel, and more. It’s harder to do this while we’re socially distant, but I encourage you to find another way to achieve the same effect. This is important for clients as well as staff. Take a few minutes to learn something about the other person. Ask about their kids, or the best show they’ve watched recently, or how they’ve been killing it in the kitchen lately. The five minutes you spend talking about their pets or their sourdough starter lets both of you slip out of your roles as salesperson, client, manager, or employee. Making that basic human connection can help clear your mind, create a positive mood, and energize you for the tasks ahead.

Of course, building mental strength isn’t as easy as reading a post. There will be days when you’re still focused on the outside world instead of your sales calls or meetings.

The ancient world – or at least the movie version – can give us a little inspiration to get through this, too. If you’ve seen 300, you might remember that before the epic battle between the Greeks and the Persians, the Persian emissary threatened, “Our arrows will blot out the sun.”

The Greeks had the best comeback ever: “Then we will fight in the shade.”

That’s the kind of attitude we need to get through this.

Sure, some days have more shade than you want. But don’t let it stop you from being present. If we focus on helping each other and our clients, we’ll realize our power and build our strength. I think Marcus Aurelius would approve.

==========================

Thank you for reading! Click here to check out my other LinkedIn articles.

ABOUT RYAN

Ryan Pinney is an eleven-year MDRT member with eleven Top of the Table qualifications. Recognized for using innovative technologies to drive insurance sales, streamline the application process, and speed up underwriting, Ryan leverages his experience in social media and online marketing to help agents and agencies create their online presence and profit from it. Utilizing the same principles and technology his firm provides to agents, his agency sold thousands of policies direct-to-consumer over the internet last year. Ryan was named one of the inaugural NAILBA ID Twenty Award winners, one of AdvisorToday’s 2015 “4 under 40” Financial Advisors, and one of LifeHealthPro Magazine’s “24 Most Creative People in Insurance.” He is a Past President of NAIFA Northern California, and served as the U.S. Chairperson for the MDRT Member Communications Committee. He is also a regular contributor to financial publications such as Bankrate.com, Yahoo! Finance, Fox Business News, and PinneyInsurance.com.