How to Shut Down the Inner Naysayer and Achieve Your Biggest Goals

Let’s be honest—comparison is the thief of joy. I’ve seen it time and time again, both in my own journey and in the lives of the incredible women I coach. How often do we find ourselves scrolling through social media, looking at someone else’s life, career, or achievements and thinking, “Why can’t I have that?” The time we spend comparing ourselves to others could be far better spent investing in ourselves.

But here’s the thing—it's so easy to place blame on external factors for why we aren't where we want to be. “If only my boss was more supportive,” or “If I had that opportunity, I’d be killing it,” or the classic “If only I had more time.” It’s much harder to stop, take a deep breath, and turn inward. Ask yourself, “Am I really going after the big, audacious goals I say I want? Or am I settling for lesser goals because they’re easier to reach?”

The Internal Dialogue That Derails Us

Let me tell you, one of the biggest hurdles I’ve had to overcome—both personally and professionally—is that internal conversation. You know the one I’m talking about. The little voice that shows up the moment things get tough:

“This is hard. Why am I even doing this? Maybe I don’t need to hit that ambitious goal. Slowing down is still progress, right?”

Sound familiar? That internal dialogue is the sneaky culprit that risks sabotaging your success. It’s not the external obstacles we should fear most—it’s the mental gymnastics we perform when the going gets tough.

I remember preparing for a TEDx talk several years ago. There I was, rehearsing for hours in front of the mirror, knowing this was an important step in my career. But each time I flubbed a line or missed a point, my mind would go into overdrive: “Why am I doing this to myself? Who do I think I am? Maybe I should aim for something easier.” But here’s the thing—I pushed through those doubts, embraced the challenge, and delivered a talk that changed the way I approached my career and helped me connect deeply with others. It was hard—and that’s exactly why it was worth it.

The Naysayer in Your Head

Success—real, meaningful, lasting success—is determined by one thing: your ability to push back on that internal naysayer. The one that wants to keep you in your comfort zone. It’s like trying to run a marathon and hearing that little voice say, “Come on, a light jog is good enough.” But that’s not how marathons are won, is it? And it’s certainly not how your biggest life goals are achieved.

When you hit that wall, that moment when your brain tries to convince you to ease up, I want you to try something different. Instead of giving in to the temptation of a lesser goal, respond with, “Yes, this is hard because it’s supposed to be hard. That’s what makes it worth doing. I love hard. I’m built for this.”

I get it, though. That internal voice can be really convincing. It starts small, sneaking in when you’re tired or overwhelmed, and suddenly it’s crafting a whole narrative about why it’s okay to settle. We start to rationalise, telling ourselves that slowing down is still moving forward. Sure, it is—if you’re training for mediocrity. But that’s not what we’re here for, is it??

Embrace the Challenge, Don’t Avoid It

The reality is, reaching your big, audacious goals is supposed to be challenging. That’s the whole point. If it were easy, everyone would do it, and we’d all be walking around with the exact same dream outcomes. But here’s what I’ve learned through years of coaching women who’ve been in the trenches of male-dominated industries, fighting for their seat at the table: the ones who rise to the top are the ones who embrace the challenge, not avoid it.

Look, it’s okay if you fall short of your ambitious goals sometimes. Let me repeat that—it’s okay. What’s not okay is falling short because you let yourself off the hook. That inner dialogue that tells you it’s fine to settle for “good enough” is not your friend. You’ve got to be ready to push back against it, firmly and consistently.

I’ve had moments in my career where it would’ve been so easy to coast. I mean, when you’ve worked your way up to being a senior executive for a global company, isn’t that the time to take your foot off the gas? Nope. If anything, that’s the time to lean in harder. And the same goes for you. Whether you're climbing the corporate ladder or building your own empire, success requires you to embrace discomfort as part of the journey.

How to Respond When It Gets Hard

So, what can you do the next time that internal conversation starts creeping in? First, recognise it for what it is: resistance. Then, respond to it in a way that puts you back in the driver’s seat.

Here’s a mantra I often share with my clients (and yes, I use it myself when I need to quiet my own doubts):

“This is hard because it’s supposed to be. That’s what makes it worth doing.”

There’s power in naming the struggle and then reframing it. When you accept that hard work is part of the process, you stop fighting it. And when you stop fighting, you free up so much energy to actually do the work. This mental shift is like flipping a switch. Suddenly, instead of dreading the challenge, you start to see it as the proving ground for your greatness.

You might be thinking, “That’s easier said than done, Stephanie.” And you’re right. It’s not a one-time fix. But like anything worth doing, it’s a muscle you build over time. With each rep, it gets a little easier to push back against the urge to settle.

Give It Your All, But Be Kind to Yourself

Let me clarify something important: I’m not saying you have to hit every goal perfectly every time. Life is messy, unpredictable, and sometimes things just don’t go as planned. It’s okay to miss the mark if you’ve genuinely given it your all. What’s not okay is falling short because you let yourself off the hook. There’s a big difference between those two outcomes.

I’ve seen it in my clients, and I’ve experienced it myself. There are days when we just don’t hit the targets we set. But here’s what I’ve learned: if you show up, push through the discomfort, and stay committed to the big picture, you’ll come out on the other side stronger, more resilient, and one step closer to the life you’re working toward.

The Reward Lies Beyond the Challenge

At the end of the day, the most rewarding achievements are the ones that stretch you beyond what you thought was possible. That promotion you thought was out of reach? You’ll never know if you could’ve had it if you stop at the first sign of difficulty. That business you dream of starting? It’s waiting for you on the other side of your resistance.

So, next time you feel the pull to slow down or lower your ambitions, I want you to remember this: you are built for hard things. Embrace the struggle, lean into the challenge, and remind yourself that the best rewards don’t come from staying comfortable.

As I often say, “Set your life alight, and seek out those who fan your flame.” Surround yourself with people who push you, challenge you, and remind you of your own strength when that inner naysayer starts whispering.

You’ve got this.

Now, go out there and tackle those big goals like the powerhouse you are.

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Remember, you can unleash your unique version of success!

Your Coach

Stephanie