How to show appreciation even if you are the office Grinch?

Article source: Business Times 16 Dec 2018 Cubicle Files

Editor: Vivien Shiao Contributor: Jasmine Liew

With gratitude to Editor Ms Vivien Shiao for the opportunity to share my insights on the importance and benefits of workplace appreciation

An older business owner once pulled me aside to express her bewilderment that young people apparently all want a pat on the back for doing a good job at work.

"But isn't that what they are hired for?" she asked me, baffled.

I am no spokesperson for Millennials out there, but I seriously doubt that workers - regardless of age - expect praise for simply doing what is required of them.

We might work like dogs, but we certainly do not wag our tails waiting for a treat after performing a trick.

But that being said, there is definitely a missing culture of appreciation in the workplace as people are often regarded as a means to an end.

Appreciation is not about stroking the supposed fragile egos of young workers though. It really boils down to some basic human kindness that is certainly welcomed by everyone in the workplace, regardless of age or seniority. Heck, even bosses could do with some affirmation every now and then.

As the year draws to an end, we look at why appreciation tends to be a "lost language" in the workplace and why this must change.

Why we forget

To some bosses who are still stuck firmly in the past, work is purely a transactional relationship - I pay you, so you do this. Nothing more, nothing less. Employees are just a cog in the wheel.

But for others, they are simply clueless about the need to show appreciation or are unable to express how they feel. Emotionally constipated, I call it.

According to Jasmine Liew, Organisation Learning & Development Director at consultancy Breakthrough Catalyst, managers tend to use a more "task-oriented" language to communicate work expectations and get things done. This comes on the back of a work environment that is getting more competitive and stressful. She pointed out: "There are increasing work demands, more things to be done, and results to be achieved in the fastest time and with less resources."

"It is not uncommon to hear managers mentioning: Have you done this? When can I see this? Where are the results?"

As a result, conversations at work tend to revolve around ticking off a to-do list, which can be disheartening for workers after awhile, especially if they are continually busting their gut trying to hit the next milestone. It can be disappointing when the extra effort they put in is taken for granted, and when leaders clearly do not care about their difficulties at work or how they are coping. Managers who are only interested in results and not the process or people behind it could see this backfire in the long run.

If one really wants to make a utilitarian case for showing appreciation, there are likely to be payoffs in terms of staff commitment, engagement and performance, says Ms Liew. In other words, your business will stand to benefit. This is because employees who feel valued by the organisation, leaders and colleagues tend to go the extra mile in their work, she observes.

The five languages of appreciation at work

To help out those who are emotionally constipated, Ms Liew uncodes the lost art of showing appreciation.

Words of affirmation: According to her, the use of positive (and sincere) words such as "thank you for your input" or "great job on the presentation" can help motivate staff if delivered in a timely manner.

Be specific about what is done right instead of a vague "good job" at the end of a long project. Praising staff should also be done in public, so that the rest know what the standards are and be spurred to do better.

Quality time: This means spending quality with the team in the form of lunches, dialogues, coaching, or simply just listening to them talk about topics that are relevant or important to them.

Knowing what drives employees is essential for managers if they want to be able to lead them effectively. Do you know what are your workers' goals and what are their pain points? An open-door policy only goes so far - sometimes, leaders must step out to meet people where they are.

Acts of service: Examples include lending a helping hand, providing necessary information, and rendering support when they face uncertainties or challenges at work.

Offering assistance is also psychologically comforting for workers as they know that management is putting their money where their mouth is.

Tangible gifts: As every employee has his or her own favourite gift or food preference, giving something that an employee appreciates most can be a nice gesture, says Ms Liew. Some workplaces have practices like rewarding the employee of the month (based on whatever metrics they have) with a small card or gift voucher. This doesn't cost much, but is valued by staff as they know that their hard work is being noticed.

Physical touch: Sometimes, a firm handshake, a high-five or a friendly pat on the back can help people connect better. But Ms Liew warns that much discretion is needed for this, as the language of physical touch does not rank high on the list due to certain expectations and boundaries in the workplace.

Spirit of thanksgiving

Even with the best intentions, appreciation may be misconstrued if staff feel that leaders are just paying lip service. Avoid generic words of thanks with no description on what the employee has done well in, and pay attention to body language, says Ms Liew.

It could also be perceived as insincere if the leader expresses thanks only during top-down, organisation-wide HR initiatives such as an Employee Appreciation Day, and yet fail to acknowledge staff in their day-to-day supervision and communication.

On that note, showing appreciation goes two ways. Bosses should lead by example, but workers should also make the effort to thank management or colleagues when it is due.

Too often, we grumble about the 101 problems that we face in the workplace instead of feeling thankful for the few things that are being done right. It doesn't need to be some grand, over-the-top gesture to count - sometimes, a simple note or e-mail speaks volumes.

If this is an area that you have neglected the whole year, it is still not too late to show appreciation for the people around you at work, even if you are the resident office Grinch. No one should live for the praises of others, or feel entitled to them, but a word of thanks for putting in extra effort or a job well done can go a long way to make someone's day.

Keen to find out more about how you can apply Appreciative Languages in the Workplace to elevate Employee Engagement & forge high performing organisation & teams? Please contact Jasmine Liew, our Global Premiere Partner at [email protected]