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There is no shortage of advice on how to best handle negotiations. Some people advocate for being tough and making sure you are not walked over. Others insist that it is all about being flexible and trying to reach win-win outcomes. But what about confrontation? Is it always advisable to steer clear of conflict?
Here’s why you might want to avoid confrontation:
- It’s uncomfortable: Arguments can quickly get heated, and emotions can start to run high. This can lead to poor decision making and can end up harming the relationship between the two parties. If you are looking to build a long term relationship with the person or entity you are negotiating with, it can be helpful to avoid confrontational moments.
- It might prevent you from reaching a deal: Avoiding confrontation can also be important in terms of getting the best deal for both sides. If either party becomes defensive or angry, they might shut down and not be willing to listen to new ideas. By staying calm and avoiding a fight, you create a space for creative problem solving and can come up with solutions that everyone is happy with.
On the other hand, there are some circumstances in which confrontation may be useful:
- When the other side is not playing fair: If you’re feeling taken advantage of, it might be necessary to stand up for yourself. If the other party is acting in bad faith or trying to bully you, staying silent can only make the situation worse. It is important to make clear that you value yourself and your position, and that you won't be pushed around.
- When you need to clarify the issue at hand: Conflict can, at times, be productive. If both parties are passionate about their positions, it can be beneficial to air those feelings and work through them. Working through a disagreement can end up strengthening the relationship in the long run.
This article was edited by LinkedIn News Editor Anamaria Silic and was curated leveraging the help of AI technology.
VP, Business Development @ QBiz | AI, Data, Cloud, Security
2 年Confrontation serves multiple purposes at the negotiation table. Here are two opportunities that result from this dynamic. One, truths come out when the group is emotional. A confrontation during a negotiation is an opportunity to restructure an agreement, make additional asks for concessions, and find the upper bound of options available to you and your group. As long as the confrontation doesn't resort to ad hominem or hostilities that make others feel unsafe, confrontation can be used in a very constructive way where both parties can put their requirements on the table and arrive at conclusions without the posturing, paper shuffling, or drawn out rhetoric that impedes many negotiations across disciplines. Two, sometimes the other party is not acting in bad faith but feels slighted at some point in the process and may act out during the negotiation. Business is still personal for many, especially if the stakes are high and careers are on the line. I would seek to understand any perceived slights and remain firm on your values, but identify if there are still mutually aligned interests and/or if it is time to end the discussion. It's better to know now than down the road that the partnership is not good.
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2 年When there is a clear breakthrough of understanding and acceptance, conflict has been negotiated successfully. Check these strategies out. Call attention to the point of contention and name it. Be specific. Don’t assume that the other person knows what you are talking about. They don’t. Ask for their input. Ask them to share with you the thoughts they have regarding the conflict. Do say things like “I would like to hear your take on this.” Ask for their ideas. Ask them to help you both come up with a solution using the creative powers you both possess. Two people working together can conquer nearly anything when they both want to find a solution. “Build the road”. Lay out a specific plan. If the plan is not quite what you both expect, ask them for their thoughts. Don't hesitate to express your ideas either, and make necessary changes together. Let them tell you if that works or not. Talk about future “stop” signals. Let the other person know what your position is in regards to future communications and working together. Let them know what your expectations are. Don't assume anything. Spell it out.
Always try to simmer everyone down. I always say "I understand how you feel" and then say something specific to the situation. You seem to be upset about whatever the problem is, and then suggest some kind of remedy. The most important thing is to calm everyone and take control of the situation. Control is the most important thing, control the negotiation and you'll get what you want.
Follower of Jesus - CEO Advisory Board Chair - Equipping Christian CEOs to Integrate Faith & Business - Business Excellence Coach "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness cannot overcome it."-John 1:5
2 年My first action would be to de-escalate any emotional conflict/temperaments/attitudes. Next step would be to find any common ground. Then though strategic questioning, extrude the positive projected outcomes from both parties with their justifiable actions to become agreeable to some parts of each. But in the end, where pride is involved to outcome may not be a consensus but there needs to be alignment that whatever the action is moving forward, there will not be any dissenting behaviors.