How self-respect helped me to recover and rebuild.

It's officially #GAMEON - 2023 is in full swing and those goals will not achieve themselves. You may be looking around for some motivation and a big push but sometimes what we really need is a little SELF RESPECT.

Success is a matter of self-respect.

When I was rebuilding from my own 'ground zero' - losing my job, income, car, home...everything! - I knew that I had to do this FOR me. On my behalf. As a matter of dignity and self-respect.

I respected myself enough to want MORE. I respected myself enough to work for MORE. That sense of self respect enabled me to make decisions that were aligned with my values, and goals without excuses! It allowed me to take ownership of my life outcomes...because NO ONE WAS COMING TO SAVE ME. I created healthy boundaries guilt free, started saying “no” to preserve my peace and safety, started saying “yes” to opportunities that took me closer to my dreams and goals. Fiercely and consistently because success became a matter of self-respect.

Take your success personally. You have something to prove - to yourself. You say you believe in your ideas and your skills - prove it! You say you won't make excuse, you will make moves this year - prove it. You say you are sick and tired of being sick and tired - prove it!

Success is a matter of self respect.

Developing self-respect starts with believing in yourself and your capabilities. Remind yourself of the things you’ve achieved, the challenges you’ve faced, and the obstacles you’ve overcome. When you don’t feel so confident, turn to positive affirmations and self-talk to remind yourself that you are good enough, capable enough and enough in general. In my rebuilding season I generate a list of affirmations that spoke to what I wanted in my life. All 'weak speak' and complaining was eliminated! I found articles, photos (Facebook was a major help here! lol) and journaled about past moments when I was WINNING so I could remember that I had that energy in me to come from behind, to start small, to have only a glimmer of hope and still succeed! It felt like a whole Jay-Z moment - allow me to re-introduce myself...my name is KRYSTAL!

Be more deliberate in nurturing positive relationships. Healthy relationships with family, friends and colleagues are a big part of feeling good about yourself. Make efforts to spend time with people who boost your confidence and can offer helpful advice, feedback and support. I created a personal habit of checking in with the people who I knew had my back. I sent morning love notes to them on whatsapp, called them and showed up for their milestone moments, actively engaged them online (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Tik-Tok, Linked In...wherever they were) because my real life community was going to feel my love and gratitude for them in every space. Doing that reminded me that I was not alone. I had a tribe and their presence was REAL not just a thought in my head. Being with them lifted my spirit, engulfed me with love and reduced the sense of 'suffering' with every encounter.

Additionally, respect yourself by setting boundaries with others and also by holding yourself accountable. Stop saying "yes" to things out of obligation and don’t be afraid to stand up for what leads you to joy, peace and safety. I resigned from posts that required compromising peace, declined invites, phone calls and 'check ins' from those I knew were not there for ME but there to 'see' and 'squeeze'. In my season of rebuilding I was very clear about pushing the 'takers' to the periphery.

And finally, keep your word to YOU. When you make promises to yourself, keep them like you would when you are trying to impress a potential mate. Show yourself that you are serious about you. My vision board and quarterly oak strategy are the primary ways that I keep my commitment front and centre and my accountability group helps me to stay focused until what is planned in accomplished.

That's how I am able to make THIS COMMITMENT every day.

I included the prompts and templates to help others rebuild from #GroundZero in my Life Planner because there is a set of tools that can help you build self-respect, recover from financial ruin, bad break ups and career failures with habits that help them to achieve more.

If you need my 2023 Planner then buy your copy HERE. You can also watch our FREE LIFE AUDIT AND GOAL SETTING MASTERCLASS RIGHT HERE

Success is a matter of self respect. Respect yourself enough to show up and do what you say you're going to do this year.

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Krystal Tomlinson is a Courage Coach and Corporate Productivity Trainer helping teams in the Caribbean and North America achieve more. She holds Certification from UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Centre in the Science of Happiness and works passionately to help improve workplace wellness and personal productivity. For trainings, workshops and seminar bookings [email protected]