How self-judgment gets in the way of movement.

Go on, admit it. How many of us see campaigns to get us moving more and have thoughts to ourselves along the lines of 'I'm too busy / tired / don't have time'? How many of us remember efforts to 'move more' previously, and found that our new identity as a gym goer with the Sweaty Bettys and Yoga Mat, is relegated to the place in our mind where the previous attempts at Veganuary / dry January / 'New Year, New You' have gone before......

I know it's not just me.

These experiences tend to stay logged in our minds as a reminder that we aren't great at new movement habits; they come to the fore each and every time we try again and for a lot of us, the critical voice inside our heads (and the aching limbs) tell us that we aren't 'movers' that each time we try, we fail. So why bother?

but it isn't really true.

These self-critical thoughts come from different places for each of us, but they are a mix of the behaviours we were reinforced for - or discouraged from - in our early lives, the voices and judgments of those in our childhoods, and the scenarios that our brains interpret as threat in our here and now. Here's an example:

I joined a Rowing club aged 39. I've always loved water sports and as a single female, with settled friends with their own families, I wanted a team sport with a social life. (it was a purposeful move away from dating apps)

I joined a 'learn to row' course, with an average age of 25. But I loved it. I had a natural ability on the water - less so on an erg where I neither had the height, strength or cardiovascular fitness of the 'youngsters'

If my life experience had reinforced me to give up, or I felt that failure was a threat too great to experience, the chances are I would have completed the course, and then joined the 'social rowing' squad.

Except it wasn't.

As a teenage mother, life had taught me that you have to ignore what people say and fight the odds; that you are capable of anything if you put your mind to it. Crucially, years of therapy and my professional background had taught me that progress is all about the necessity of failure, so self-criticism gets left in the changing room.

That's not to say it was all 'smooth sailing' (or Rowing) in fact once I joined as bow of the ladies first team, in one of our early regattas I had an asthma attack so bad that I was carted off by lovely folk from St Johns. Subsequently people referred to me as 'the one that collapsed on the finish line' for about 6 months. That's ok. (it's slightly better than 'the veteran still trying to be in the top league')

The point of all of this is that it doesn't matter which movement you choose, it can be anything. The point is that it isn't tiredness / busyness / time that's keeping you from moving. It's your self-critical thoughts about yourself when you are moving, that create a sense of threat in your body, that lead to negative thinking - particularly if you're struggling with your mental health anyway.

So here's my suggestions

1) Find a movement that you might enjoy in time, and be realistic about how it can fit into your life and values: Walking in areas of nature can be extremely peaceful and wonderful for your mental health, but if you live in a bustling inner city you might not have the same experience.

2) Be really clear with yourself about how you are consciously going to talk to yourself about your movement. Reminding yourself that everyone starts somewhere, you aren't in competition with anyone else, and this is your time.

3) Be mindful in your body about where threat shows up. If your breathing creates negative thoughts about your fitness when you move, put headphones in with calming music to keep yourself regulated under physical strain.

4) Check out the local walking /running / yoga groups in the area. Meeting other people and realising that despite the Nike adverts, everyone starts somewhere, and everyone has this process of learning, can really help you to realise that this is a common human experience, and your trepidation is similar to others'

5) If you miss your movement for several days or a week etc, find self-kindness in the learning: remind yourself that movement isn't a case of all or nothing, it's about learning and resetting at times. Just start again.

In my experience, most people learn that movement helps their mental health on numerous levels; sleep, a sense of accomplishment, increased energy, and also there's something about moving with big feelings that helps to process them (and work the cortisol out of the system)

As for me?

Well, I currently enjoy walking. I'm lucky enough to be near natural green spaces and I enjoy them daily. Turns out though, that joining the rowing team was the best decision I ever made. I met my wife there. Bizarrely, despite the two of us moving to Oxford (Rowing capital) neither of us Row competitively anymore. I guess we discovered that time for each other was more important than the time needed for competitive rowing.

who knows where movement will take you.......