How self-awareness makes you a better speaker

In a recent virtual presentation, a participant asked, “How do you practice self-awareness in how you show up: before you speak and in the moment while speaking?”

It shows great self-awareness to even ask that question. And it’s a critical leadership competency.

Tasha Eurich , organizational psychologist and executive coach whose team has conducted research on self-awareness, talks about two types:

• Internal self-awareness: Identifying our own values, aspirations, and passions to understand how they fit into the world we inhabit and the people with whom we interact.

• External self-awareness: Understanding how other people view us and interpret our values, aspirations, and passions.

Both types are critical components of building your executive presence , which at Global Public Speaking we define as “a way of speaking and acting that makes others take notice and listen.”

How does this apply to our speaking and leadership skills?

At Global Public Speaking, we take an inside-out approach to how we teach communication .?

First, we teach people to look inward to connect with their sense of purpose, asking why they do what they do. What drives you? What compels you to speak up: at work or in your community? Internal self-awareness builds confidence in yourself and clarity in your message, which helps communicate more clearly to your team.

Then, we teach people to look outward to determine whom they seek to influence , and which tools they can use to achieve the greatest impact. External self-awareness helps you adopt an audience-centered approach that ensures you will have the intended impact on your audience.?

How can you practice self-awareness?

Before a meeting

Practice internal self-awareness by asking, Why You? Why do you care …about your audience, about your work, about the impact you’d like to have? Write down your “Why You?” statement and read it before the meeting starts to help ground yourself and calm your nerves.

Then, spend 5-10 minutes thinking about your audience. Ask yourself:

• What motivates my audience to act?
• What do they need and want?
• What attitude do my listeners have toward me, my subject, and/or my organization?
• What ideas, feelings, or experiences do we have in common?

Use the information to help you decide what information to share, which stories to include, and to adapt your delivery style so you can connect with your audience in a meaningful way, without losing your authenticity.

In the moment

In the moment, practice external self-awareness by getting out of your head and focusing on your audience. Instead of scanning the room and letting the audience be a blur, speak to one person at a time to truly connect.

Having trouble getting out of your head? It’s more common than you think, especially if you are nervous. If you find yourself focused on your racing heart, shaky voice, or that you lost your place, pause & breathe. Take a moment to collect your thoughts before you move on instead of rambling, which could weaken your argument.

After the meeting

Practice both types of self-awareness by conducting your own debrief of how it went when you spoke up, and by seeking out trusted advisors for feedback.

Once you have collected feedback, come up with at least one change you can make for the next time.

Self-awareness makes you a better speaker by helping you connect with yourself before you connect with others. It makes you a better leader by helping you speak in a way that inspires others to take action.