How Self-Awareness is a Key to Great Leadership

“Without reflection, we go?blindly?on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.”--Margaret J. Wheatley

The following is an excerpt from my book,?I Know Myself and Neither Do You.

Defining Self-Awareness

Self-awareness can be defined as?an awareness of one's personality, character or individuality.?Psychologist Daniel Goleman proposed a popular definition of self-awareness in his best-selling book?Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ , as “knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions.”

Other phrases and words are often used to mean self-awareness:

• Self-reflection has also been referred to at various times as “self-consciousness,” “introspection,” or “self-awareness,” all having slightly different connotations but emphasizing the same concept.?Self-reflection is?careful thought about your behavior and beliefs?and involves self-examination, self-observation, and soul-searching.
• Self-consciousness can be defined as being?conscious of one's acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself; aware of oneself as an individual.
• Introspection can be defined as the observation or examination of one’s own mental and emotional state, mental process; the act of looking within oneself.
• Self-knowledge can be defined as an?understanding of oneself or one's motives or character.

All the definitions suggest an examination of one’s internal thoughts and feelings and reflecting on what they mean. This process can be focused on either one’s current or past mental experiences.

Beyond the ability to be reflectively aware of oneself, self-awareness is often associated with executive processes in the brain essential to the self-regulation of emotions. Thus, the self-aware individual is often viewed as more controlled and intentional.?

Why Does Self-Awareness Matter?

In 1972, psychologists Shelley Duval and Robert Wicklund published their theory of self-awareness, which argued?“when we focus our attention on ourselves, we evaluate and compare our current behavior to our internal standards and values. We become self-conscious as objective evaluators of ourselves.”?Duval and Wicklund believe self-awareness was a major mechanism of self-control.

In his paper, “How Self-Awareness Impacts Your Work, “ Daniel Goleman argues the ability to monitor our emotions and thoughts from moment to moment is a key to understanding ourselves better, being at peace with whom we are and proactively managing our thoughts, emotions and behaviors.

People who are self-aware act intentionally and consciously rather than reactively or passively, Goleman contends. They also have an elevated sensitivity to the impact their words and behavior have on others.

According to researcher Matthew Lippincott, ?“ Developing Emotional Self-Awareness is a crucial first step in effective leadership because it lays the foundation upon which the other eleven?Emotional and Social Intelligence Competencies?are built. We can’t develop skills like Emotional Self-Control, Empathy, or Teamwork unless we are coming from a place of Emotional Self-Awareness. It gives leaders the necessary information about themselves and the effectiveness of their interactions so that they can monitor their emotions and manage their behaviors accordingly.”

Executive coaches often deal with difficult clients, particularly executives who tend to be overconfident and arrogant. It’s been my experience that the most difficult to deal with and coach are the leaders who lack self-awareness. They are either unaware of their inner state and how others view them, or they are aware and they don’t care about others’ perceptions.?

Self-aware people recognize their limitations and strengths, and they will welcome constructive feedback from others. In contrast, people with low self-awareness may respond to critical feedback as a threat or sign of failure.?

It’s clear that self-awareness is foundational to emotional intelligence and is critical to our ability to communicate effectively with and build relationships of trust with others. Individuals high in self-awareness are skilled at self-monitoring and adapting their behaviors to relate effectively with others.?

Many important studies show that self-awareness is not a strong trait for many leaders, particularly male leaders. While women in executive-level management positions tend to exhibit more self-awareness than men in the same positions, the overall percentages suggest there is much opportunity for growth in this area. In a study of 17,000 individuals worldwide, the?Hay Group Research?found that 19 percent of women executives interviewed exhibited self-awareness as compared to 4 percent of their male counterparts.

According to Tasha Eurich, writing in the?Harvard Business Review , “research suggests that when we see ourselves clearly, we are?more confident?and?more creative. We make?sounder decisions, build?stronger relationships, and?communicate more effectively. We’re less likely to?lie, cheat, and steal. We are?better workers?who get?more promotions. And we’re?more effective leaders with more satisfied employees and more profitable companies.”

One of the effects of increased self-awareness is emotional intensity. Focusing on one’s emotions or physiological responses amplifies one’s subjective experience. Self-awareness also increases accurate access to one’s self-concept. Self-regulation, a tangential component of self-awareness, increases our ability smoothly navigate our social environment through the self-regulation of our emotions, which includes altering one’s behavior, resisting temptation, changing one’s mood, and selecting a response from various options.

One of the most significant observations that I made over a thirty-plus year period of training, coaching and mentoring leaders in small and large organizations is the degree to which self-awareness was not identified as an important element in providing feedback to leaders and the surprising number of experienced leaders in organizations who both undervalued and lacked sufficient self-awareness.?