How to seek a mentor

Finding the right mentor

The conversation about finding a mentor and getting a mentor to accept your invitation to mentor you is becoming increasingly popular. To some, this concept of having a mentor may sound too distant, unrealistic or unapproachable. For some others, they could be having a vivid idea about the type of mentoring needed to enhance their knowledge and sharpen their thinking. You might even have conjured a particular archetype of what a mentor ought to look, act and speak like, or how he or she should appear and dress. The bottom line is that there is no single archetype that fits the utopia bill of needs and advice we require from the individual we call a 'Mentor'. Instead, it is vital to seek a mentor with the best fit based on your intention, the context and situation.

What would be some safe indicators when selecting a mentor? Does it have to be someone from your industry?

I like how in an article by Julia Fawal, citing Anthony Tjan, CEO of Boston venture capital firm Cue Ball Group and author of Good People on the types of mentors that exist captured it. According to Tjan as explained by Julia, below are some of the different types of mentor relationships you can go for:

Mentor #1: The master of craft

An iconic figure in the area or industry you are interested in. “They should help you identify, realize and hone your strengths towards the closest state of perfection as possible,” he says.

Mentor #2: The champion of your cause

This mentor is someone who will introduce you to useful people in your industry and vouch for you because they believe in you and what you want to achieve.

Mentor #3: The copilot

In other words, your best work bud. The copilot is you confidant and sounding board at work who will listen to you vent and has your back along the way. This is however a reciprocal relationship where you both help each other out, thus holding each other accountable. 

Mentor #4: The anchor

This person doesn’t have to work in your industry — in fact, it could be a friend or family member. This type of mentor offers a psychological lift, and keeps your overall best interests in mind.

The first question I ask someone who wants me to mentor them is: “What are some specific challenges you are facing currently that you would like to address or improve?”

I’ve come across many who seek a mentor without necessarily even understanding what they would like to achieve from it. Having a clear intention sets the right foundation for a more fruitful and effective mentorship and lets the mentor know two key things about you:

• That you are ready to value the relationship and apply
• You are ready to take accountability to drive the change you hope for

A mentor can guide you. But taking action lies with you.

Once you are more clear about your goal or what you hope to get out from the mentor connection, then screen the marketplace to find the most matching mentor for you.

Asking the right questions

In coaching when we want to go deeper and understand and learn more about the problem or gain more clarity and perspective, we begin our questions with "WHAT". WHAT questions are brilliant for probing more information and going deeper. Below are some interesting WHAT questions you can ask your mentor once you have begun your journey as a mentee:

1. What would you do if you were me? 
2. What do you wish you had known before taking your first management role?
3. What’s the most important leadership lesson you’ve learned and how has it proven invaluable?
4. What do you see as some of my blind spots and how do you think I can improve?
5. What new skills do you think I need in order to move ahead?

Remember, a mentor-mentee relationship is a two way street. The accountability to discern and apply guidance given by the mentor is the mentee's responsibility.

Next time you attend a networking event and see a mentor that inspires you, get excited instead of feeling intimidated and go out there and introduce yourself. But please be ready with your elevator pitch and carry an open and calm posture and demeanor.

So what do you say - Are you up for the challenge to go out there and find the right mentor? Once you do, remember to Ask the Right Questions!