How to Say YES to Your Success and Your Self-Worth

A few years ago, I was part of a social organization in Florida. I became very involved because I was so fond of this particular organization and their mission.

In no time, I began to go to one or two meetings a week. I really enjoyed them, their focus, and their commitment. They grabbed my deepest heartstrings, when they asked for my leadership, help and expertise.

As I began to take on that leadership role, I found that I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed speaking, leading people, being a part of a team. I honestly loved it, but it was all unpaid, volunteer labor.

I quickly found myself giving 30 to 40 hours a week of my time at these events for this organization. What I learned, quickly, was that I had given up on my own personal value, and my self-worth. I got so involved in their organization and their message that my value as a person, a business woman and my worth diminished. I actually, for the first time in my life had challenges being hired, growing and earning money for my business marketing services. I was focusing all of my energy on their leadership role that I stopped selling my business services and stopped focusing on valuing my time as a valuable asset worth money.

In fact, at that time, I was having trouble paying my own house mortgage. I lost complete focus on my income producing business. Instead, I gave nearly all of my time, my creative energy, and my business-oriented focus to their cause. I was not attending to my own business. I was just having fun at their business. Although, nonprofit work can expand our civic image, allow us free rein to explore more creativity within the public venue, challenge our leadership skills in new ways, exhibit our talents at motivating unpaid people, and enhance our resume; it does not pay the bills!

In looking back, I realize that I was giving myself permission to punish myself. I felt good about the time I was giving and the fun I was having. Then, I would come home and beat myself up because I was having a hard time with my bills. Because the more time I spent with the organization, the less time I had to focus on my own domestic, business, financial obligations and responsibilities.

I began to beat myself up over allowing myself to be so swooped up in the leadership role.

Just Say “Yes” to Putting Your Priorities First

I feel that many women, to whom I have spoken to or come across over the years, have the same willingness to say “Yes” too quickly. Women in general, LOVE to give their time to service organizations, school, charities, and other nonprofits because they believe so much in the cause or the focus. Women say, “Yes” to many things. They volunteer for the local Rotary event or a school cupcake show, or going to take care of a sick family member at the last minute. I know because I was doing the same thing. Even today, I believe so much in giving to others and in a higher service.

However, I have gotten smarter.

We cannot follow our hearts at the loss to ourselves.

Female Entrepreneurs and Female Business Owners we know to take care of ourselves first allows the opportunity to help others.

When you as female can say “Yes” to yourself, “Yes” to success, “Yes” to being the Boss of your entire life, then you can take care of many other people.

The following is a story of a example of what I mean:

A friend of mine, Dr. Jacqueline Mackenzie, is a Sexy Boss?, who now says “Yes” to herself, “Yes” to success, “Yes” to her focus, and “Yes” to taking care of many people. However, like most women, she did not start out that way.

Young Jackie was eighteen months old when her brother died. Jackie’s parents were devastated. They dreamed of having six sons; there were to be no more births. Daughter Jackie took on the role of the family’s only son. She did everything better, faster, and with less effort than any boy.

Right after high school, she made a vow to herself to have a PhD because no one in her Polish immigrant family had ever gone to college, not even one of her three boy cousins within 11 months of her age. Note that the vow was a PhD, not just a 4-year degree – therein lies the problem.

Jackie took the name Jacque when she got into college. As an artist, she wanted to be mistaken for a male painter: Jacques. Soon, she was the first female Teamster in Chicago, the second in the USA. She was the cover story on the Frito Lay Bandwagon magazine for her high sales. As one of the first women to take it, she passed the Illinois State Trooper’s Exam.

Not to be judged, she was also “super mother” to three kids and foster mother to another six. She always said, “Yes” to her church and other charities, and took no time for herself. She earned a B.A. in divinity. Then she graduated with her B.S. and M.S. in business, with high honors.

Then she was given two months to live. The diagnosis was a bleeding stomach ulcer and ulcerative colitis. Then she left the corporate world. The stress-induced diseases healed. She returned to the rural life of her childhood, the place where her heart had always been most content. Her B.A. in divinity enabled her to be a founder of two nonprofits. The charities are now 19, and 20-years old.

This dynamic woman began classes to finish her PhD and in May 2008, her husband, her sister, and she moved to an indigenous village in Central Mexico to allow her to complete her PhD research.

Early 2009, she began supplementing the charity’s income on eLance. May 2010,

she was “hooded” at the University of Arizona with a major in special education and two minors: bilingual education and socio-cultural studies. The next year she wrote a thrice award-winning book on empowering teachers and students.

Today, Jacquie enjoys doing exactly what she loves. She rides horses to relax.

Each morning, she cares for her ranch, dances the Zumba, and then goes to her

business with two of her five dogs tagging along. She has multiple businesses.

Her first business is writing articles that focus on empowering women. She is inside a darling office with flowers and herbs outside the door. Inside, dogs are at her feet. Her second business is counseling. People from all over the world call her for advice on children, relationships, or business problems.

To me, Dr. Jacquie is a Sexy Boss. She is doing exactly what she loves. She is also helping people, in Mexico, who want to be helped. She has developed the self-worth, the entrepreneurial businesses, and the income to provide for herself and to others.

Dr. Jacquie and I have learned. Thanks to Sexy Boss, Inc., you and others around the Globe say “yes” to Success, “Yes” to Personal Self-Worth, and “Yes” to Self-Value.

Final Thoughts from a Sexy Boss:

• Do Not Give yourself away. Give of yourself to receive everything you want.
• A Sexy Boss? is confident in her ability to Thrive.

[Editors Note: Heather Ann Havenwood, CEO of Havenwood Worldwide, LLC and

Chief Sexy Boss, is a serial entrepreneur who is regarded as an authority on internet marketing. Since marketing her first online business in 1999, bringing together clients and personal coaches, she has played an active role in the online marketing world since before most even had a computer.

Heather Ann is now stepping out from behind the curtain to educate, enlighten empower women entrepreneurs to grow or start an online business and live a fearless, fabulous and fulfilled life.

Check Heather out here:

www.HeatherHavenwood.com