How To Say ‘No’ at Work
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Learning to say no at work can help you avoid burnout, exhaustion and poor work performance. You can’t say yes to every request, whether it be from a manager or coworker. However, it’s not always easy to decline extra work. Two LinkedIn career experts share their advice on setting healthy boundaries and saying no.
Saying no is a difficult thing to do.
It becomes even more difficult when you already struggle with setting workplace boundaries or being confident . Or perhaps you’re just starting your professional journey or a new career pivot .?
Realistically, you can’t say “yes” to every single request at work and that doesn't make you any less of a team player. Also, politely saying “no,” doesn’t automatically mean you’re “difficult to work with” — quite the opposite, it shows that you’re able to maintain a necessary work-life balance.
As a professional, you need to get comfortable with the discomfort of saying “no” at work, starting with little steps each day.?
Learning how to do so can help you avoid burnout , exhaustion and even lackluster work performance. The word “no” isn’t inherent to many people’s workplace vocabulary, so let’s look to two LinkedIn career experts on how you can best prioritize your needs and professionally say “no”.
Struggling to Say “No”? You’re Not Alone
If you struggle with saying no, hopefully, you can find comfort in knowing that it’s not some easy skill or quality. SimplyHired found that more than a quarter of employees surveyed said, “Yes, I can take more work” when they couldn’t.
And the reasons why can vary, especially if you’re an underrepresented employee.?
Mita Mallick ,? 2020 LinkedIn Top Voice and co-host of Brown Table Talk has often struggled during her career to say no. At times, she was held to very different standards from the men she worked with, a shared experience for many working women .
As a result, Mallick started worrying about the negative repercussions that could come from saying no. (Spoiler alert: If an employer ignores your boundaries or punishes you for having them, it may be time to move on .)
“If I say no, will I be perceived as lazy, incompetent or not qualified to do the job? Will it be held against me later on? Will it hurt my chances for the promotion? If I say no and set boundaries, will I be labeled as difficult or someone who is not a team player? I have spent a lot of time worrying how a ‘no’ can impact my career,” she says.
Saying no is also hard when you’re passionate about your work, exposing you to higher risk of burnout . As more opportunities or tasks become available, you fear that saying no and having healthy boundaries is equal to missing out.?
It’s basically the work equivalent of FOMO (or fear of missing out ).?
According to Harvard Business Review (HBR), “Passionate employees are more likely to get asked to do unpaid work, work on the weekends, and handle unrelated and demeaning tasks that are not a part of their roles. This tendency springs from two beliefs: that passionate employees would have probably volunteered to do that extra work anyway, and that extra work is its own reward for someone who loves their job.”
But are the things you’re saying yes to serving you, your career or overall well-being?
As HBR writes, to sustain your effectiveness and well-being over time, “it’s essential to learn the art of turning people down.”
Saying Yes Isn’t Always Positive
Jasmine Escalera, Ph.D. , 2022 LinkedIn Top Voice and career coach, helping women of color build confidence and stand out, acknowledges that saying no at work is difficult and breaking this habit is also hard.?
“There is an inherent authority you believe your company and manager have over you that makes setting boundaries around your work and time very difficult,” she says. “The first step to saying no is often understanding the impact of overusing yes on your career.”
Being the “yes person” or a people pleaser isn’t always positive. Escalera and Mallick both say that such behavior can lead to negative consequences like:
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Constantly saying yes will no doubt lead to burnout, negatively impacting your mental and physical health — making it evermore important to maintain a work-life balance.?
“Once you understand the impact on your career and health, breaking the cycle of saying yes can start with just giving yourself the necessary time to weigh your options,” says Escalera.
But to strike that balance, some self-assessment needs to be done … then you can begin drawing necessary boundaries.
“We have to draw boundaries for ourselves. No one else will,” says Mallick. “If we don't prioritize and say yes to everything, we run the risk of not delivering what we committed to or not being able to deliver the quality of product we had aspired to.”
Each day, you need to actively work to maintain healthy boundaries, because, as Mallick reminds us, no one else will. And for some of us, that action can manifest itself as saying no more often at work.?
Ease Your Way Into Saying No at Work
“Starting with saying NO can be a giant leap,” says Escalera.?
As you begin your journey towards setting workplace boundaries, it’s okay to still struggle with saying no. Whenever you’re contemplating whether or not to take on extra responsibilities at work, stop and think about what’s being requested of you.
“Often we are so programmed to say yes,” says Escalera. “[I]t is an automatic response without even giving thought to the request.”
You don’t need to automatically say yes or no when something is requested of you. Instead, ask the person who’s requesting for more context. In doing so, you’re opening up a line of communication to see how feasible that added workload is for you.?
As HBR writes , the goal of this assessment is to “understand ‘how much your saying no is going to cost the other person’ and for your counterpart to grasp the ‘repercussions of what [they’re] asking.’”
Escalera recommends answering requests by saying “I’d like to give that some thought and identify how it will affect my tasks and workload” or? “Can I get back to you with some thoughts by the end of the day or tomorrow?”
Look at it as a breathing moment, helping you consider the request and your response. And if you do need to say no, you’ll be better equipped to give thoughtful reasoning. “It's important to give reasoning behind a no so it doesn't seem like you don't want to do it or you are just too busy,” says Mallick.
Assessing a request is also great practice to begin getting comfortable with setting boundaries, Escalera says.?
“This way of starting to set your boundaries by focusing on giving yourself space to think can more smoothly transition into using your NO over time.”
Additionally, by involving the person making the request, like a manager, you can help remind them of all you’re already required to say yes to.
“Let's not forget that our managers are human,” says Mallick. “They can't remember everything we are working on. It's our job to remind them of all the things we have said yes to, or they have said yes to on our behalf.”?
“Work with your manager [or coworker] to determine what might no longer be a priority that you can stop working on, so if necessary, you can turn that no into a yes.”
Top Takeaways?
It’s important to know how to say no at work. Here’s how:
CI Practitioner at First Impression Labels
1 年Thank you for posting this. I’m not coming from a place of sounding important or anything. This is such a critical skill to have because not only does it help you manage your time and capacity but you are able to achieve your KPI’s. Moreover, the way the suggested responses are stipulated here, you still come across as willing to help and you still have the teamwork attitude which I appreciate even more. It’s super important to remain a team player even if you can’t take on that additional task at that point in time.
Co-Founder at ESAAC LLP
2 年finding a good balance between saying yes and no is the key; and having open hearted conversations on the pro and cons and implications on resources, other people & responsibilities is important as experienced during my career
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2 年Helpful! I'm ready to do whatever it takes
? Intuitive Presentation & Graphic Designer ? Accessible Docs Advocate ? GIS Mapmaker-in-Training ? I visually interpret and translate content into impactful communications tools that serve the public—and our planet!
2 年What has worked well for me is to not necessarily give them a flat-out "no," but instead respond with, "let's take a look at how this impacts our other projects," and then lay out the consequences: "we can do this only provided we limit reviews to absolutely no more than one round;" or "…we reschedule the other projects on my plate to next month;" or "…we outsource this to a freelancer that *you*—not I—manage," etc. Sometimes I do have to plainly say "no," but having a few "yes, howevers" helps my colleagues see that I'm not just simply obstinate.
Career Purpose Author | STEM Life Coach | Speaker | Engineer
2 年Trying to say NO when you're not in the habit can feel insurmountable. You can always start small. Try baby steps and say no to the smallest things. The small things will turn into bigger things. If you'd like more motivation to say no, consider: 1 - someone else will have a better work/life balance 2 - unnecessary tasks may get too much priority 3 - you were not hired to resolve everything without question; you were hired to exercise judgment as you decide when and how to say yes/no 4 - relevant problems may fall to the wayside and become overshadowed by noise 5 - burnout will cost you more in the long run than saying no today